New Years Resolution

This year I'm going to try something different for my New Years resolutions. Usually I give the half-hearted attempts at proclaiming things like this will be the year I hit the X pound mark or this will be the year I get off my ass and learn how to really cook. But, come on now, we all know that shit is never going to happen.* I have three kids and I work full time. It's time to stop fucking around and get down to business. This year I pledge to be a more devoted mother, a more loving wife, a more caring daughter and sister. This year I take a break from pledging to better myself for the New Year. This year I will work towards a better life for my family and more stability for my children. 2008 - the Year of the Pur.



* I will still, however, be majorly jealous of my awesome sister and covet her ability to things like this

Everything I Watch Sucks

Grr. I don't even know why I watch tv. Seriously, every show I watch ends up infuriating me either because the people I want to win don't win (see Survivor, Big Brother, ANTM) or because nothing ever gets resolved (see Lost). I had just started to think this season of Survivor didn't suck nearly as bad as last season (which has to be one of the worst seasons ever) and then Amanda had to completely blow it by acting like a total strategic dumbass by not kicking Todd's ass off and then she sat around like a sad-eyed moron at final tribal council and basically just said she was sorry instead of actuall, you know, trying to win. What a freaking asshat! With the all the strategic blunders made by James, Denise, and Amanda, this season totally went down the toilet when it started off with so much promise! Of course, over on ANTM, Tootie from the Facts of Life won, so I guess I shouldn't complain about Survivor. Also, nyah nyah nyah to all you Chris hatin' lovers of Project Runway. I thought Stephen was a total ass, so I was really relieved when they tossed his ass to the curb.* I was also happy that Christian won a challenge b/c I love the snarky, gay stereotype just as much as Heidi & Co. Nobody gives better soundbites!

Still no pics. I am posting from work (tee hee), but our home 'puter is still on the fritz. Also discouraging, my gf, who also had a VAIO, had the same experience with her computer dying on her about 2 years after purchase. We plan to buy a Mac next since everyone I know is now on the Mac bandwagon (and I just can't resist a good bandwagon), but we're going to wait until after to move to make any large purchases, so we may have some internet-free time while we make the transition from LA to Abq.

* Also, I, like AinA, like to see how many times I can use the word ass in the same paragraph.

Decisions, Decisions

So I promised job news soon, and here it is (drum roll, please): We've decided to move to Albuquerque! No, seriously, we really are moving to Albuquerque. I know I swore I would never move back there, but it's amazing how your perspective changes as you age. The cost of living, beautiful weather, and the fact that we would be close to family are all contributing factors which have made Albuquerque a very attractive place to live. Plus, I got offered a very nice job there, which always helps ;) We are very excited for our upcoming move and are now starting to panic as I requested a separation date in early Jan, so it isn't that far off! I am still planning to stay in the Reserve, as I have enough years towards retirement that I would hate to sever ties altogether and have to start over, so I am working that issue now.

Anyway, I know I promised to post those X-mas pics, but our computer has taken a shit on us, so I don't know when I'll get a chance to access them to post them. So you'll just have to wait!

The Case for Childlessness

From time to time, my children tend to do things which make me wonder why I ever had children in the first place. On Friday, A got sick and puked carrots all over himself and his carseat. Not to be outdone, J puked 3 times Friday night to such an extent that we chose to simply throw out her pack n' play rather than try cleaning it. Clearly these two are going to be competition for each other because A was not about to let J get the one up on him and chose to contract explosive diarrhea, which has yet to let up. Seeing that her two younger siblings were getting a lot of attention, C decided that Monday night was the perfect night to show she's still in the running for child who needs the most attention and threw up 3 times herself. Then J, after several days of being relatively illness-free, decided that Hubs and I were not losing enough sleep over waking up every 1-2 hours to change A's shitty diapers and we needed to clean up toddler puke again. Oh, and did I mention that Hubs and I were both sick as well? Fun weekend!

Will Post Pics Soon

Sorry for (again) the length between posts. We were here celebrating 60 fabulous years of Dad and eating like I've never eaten in my life (caviar, foie gras, and truffles, oh my!). I can easily say I have never had such an amazing culinary experience in all my life, and I can only hope that another such one will be on the horizon sometime in the future (after I've managed to work off this last one, so, at least another couple of years ;)

News on the job front is imminent; however, I am still working out some of the details. I am a little sticious at heart, so I will refrain from making any huge announcements until I have a signed contract in hand.

Pu on Reality TV (literally)

Okay, ya'll know how much I love Survivor, and I always get a little misty when they have the episode where they bring on the contestant's loved ones, but I can't help feeling a little bitter, too. After all, these people have all chosen to be away from home to play a game for a chance at winning a million dollars. Also, they have only been away from their loved ones for like 30 days. 30 days, people! Seriously, they're crying like they've been away for years. Don't they know there are thousands upon thousands of airmen, soldiers, and sailors who leave their homes for up to 18 months to go to a war zone, and they sure as hell aren't expecting to come home with no million dollars. They'd be pretty happy to just come home in one piece. It literally made me sick to my stomach (despite the fact that maternal hormones still made me tear up at their reunions, I'm such a baby!).

Also, they got rid of Chris on Project Runway. WTF! Seriously, last week Ricky's outfit wasn't even sewn together, and this week it looked like an 1980's playboy centerfold threw up on his model. Please. What are the judges smoking this year?

And I'm still so devastated about Heather's ouster from ANTM, I can't even comment on the fact that Chantal is in the top three (okay, seriously, she's a freaking moron with an annoying giggle and 70s shag bangs. What is up with Tyra!!??)

Seriously Christmasy Up in This Bitch

Holiday Crap

So, post Turkey Day we did what has become the annual tradition in the Pu-R household (heretofor known as the Pur household), we decorated the house for Christmas. This is a 4-5 hour process that involved much cursing, spreading of dust and a wide variety of cleaning efforts afterwards. If you are picturing a loving family carefully placing their family heirloom ornaments on the tree in harmony, you are sadly mistaken. In the Pur household, we just get the shit out of the way. I promise I'll post some pics tonight when I get home, but you trust me when I say it is seriously Christmasy up in this bitch (as Hubs commented). C & I were allowed to take out the Menorah this year. My Catholic-rasied Hubs eyeballed it warily, but did not protest (much) when I gave it the coveted spot on the Tibetan piece in the LR (probably b/c it blends in with all the other shit we have up there). Hopefully we'll remember to actually light the candles this year since J has passed the stage of wanting to eat them. Also, when the hell did they start playing Chritmas music before Thanksgiving? I though that was the one prerequisite to the start of the retail holiday season, but evidently that hard and fast rule has gone out the window, too!
Gettin' Serious For a Minute

I really wanted to say thanks to everyone who commented on my pity party about separating from the military. It really is a big deal to me, and your comments were most appreciated. I came across this quote while doing research for an unrelated project, but I thought I would share it with you anyway!
"It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself." ~Joyce Maynard
More Random Pu for You
As some of you may know, one of my most favoritist books of all time is Edith Wharton's House of Mirth, so I was excited to come across this article. Having never taken college English (My AP scores were high enough that I didn't have to, tee hee), I guess I never realized there was any controversy over it. I always thought it was pretty evident that Lily had commited suicide. How anyone could think that EW had written the meaning vaguely is beyond me. I thought she made it pretty clear that Lily had fallen so far that there was no other way for her. So now I'm curious to hear what other people think. So share, dammit! ;)
Also, I must comment that I seriously hate SIPRnet. Seriously. Hate it. Not as much as DTS, but hate it none the less...that is all

Gobble, Gobble

I know, I know, I've been completely remiss in my posting duties lately. I am uber-busy with work and homelife, so I appologize, but you're all going to have to be patient with me. Thanksgiving was a nice, small affair with just immediate family and the plumber who can to fix our drain ($200!!). Hopefully the landlord won't give us a hard time about reimbursing us for the bill. Things are seriously in the works as far as career moves go, but I am loathe to say anythng until I have absolute confirmation as to what we are doing. I don't want to mislead anyone (including myself!) until I know for sure that all the little bumps in the road have been dealt with, but my separation paperwork is currently making its way through the various rounds of signatures it needs before I can send it over to the MPF for processing. If all goes well, I should be released from active duty as early as sometime in January.

This is a difficult move for me, in spite of the fact that I'm doing it to avoid being deployed to a war zone with three children at home. I have been the military for all of my adult life. It is more than a job to me. It has become a way of life and a part of my identity. It may sounds strange, but if I was asked to describe myself, I would say that I am a woman, a mother and a wife, and a military officer. It's going to be very hard for me to adjust to the thought of just being an ordinary citizen. The decision to separate was not difficult, given the circumstances, but I am terrified in some ways of no longer having that security blanket. Plus, I don't know shit about health insurance.

Back to the Hollywood AF

Back home from Omaha. Still at home b/c, as per usual, the airline lost my luggage, so I had to wait here for them to deliver it. Oh well, at least this time they lost it when I was on my way home, so I'm not out of clothes or anything. I got home at about 10:30 last night, and Hubs was the happiest I think I've ever seen him. He rushed up and gave me a big hug, handed me 2 screaming kids, a dirty diaper, and a half-full bottle and ran out the door screaming, "Free at last!" Okay so maybe it wasn't quite that bad, but let's just say I was definately missed (although Hubs had to caveat that by adding, "At least the house stayed clean while you were gone."). J was super-excited to see me, but I couldn't help noticing that A seems to have more of an affinity for his BS than for me, and that just breaks my heart. I know it's only natural that A will be more in tune with the people he spends the most time with, but I can't help feeling devastated b/c that should be me! It's the trap all working moms fall into, especially when you have more than one child. I get so little alone time with A. Usually our time together consists of feeding him until he falls asleep. Even on weekends, my attention is divided between three kids and a husband, so we get very little solo time together. I know there really isn't anything I can do about it, but BS doesn't make it any better with her little snide comments about how A prefers it there and thinks of her house as his home. It just makes me want to strangle her (even though I know she's not trying to hurt my feelings).

Anyway, onto less depressing subjects. I'm getting some good job leads, but I don't want to jinx anything by saying too much. Let's just say there's a good chance we may stay here in LA in a non-mil capacity, but I'm also going to be making a trip to DC in the near future to explore some opportunities out there. I promise I'll keep you all updated as things progress.

Also, I must put in my 2 cents on the Next Iron Chef who is so obviously going to be Chef Besh. Not that I haven't enjoyed the show, but, honestly, there really hasn't been much suspense. Other than the very first episode, I have accurately predicted who was going home each week which sort of takes some of the fun out of it. I have to say, though, I am really looking forward to next week when they actually battle it out in kitchen stadium.

Now I'll leave you with some pics I've been meaning to post from when my moms & sis wuz here. Enjoy!

Postin' on the Road

Back in Omaha. Boo. Of course, no kids = yay. So it's not all bad ;) Poor Hubs. This is first time alone with all three kids, and I think they are eating him alive. I tried calling, but all I heard was, "Stop that! Get over here! Oh god, it's got hold of my leg! Aghhhhhh!" So, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everyone's alive and in one piece when I get home :)

I keep forgetting to give a shout out to my sis, MR, who turned me onto this great kids show called Yo Gabba Gabba (I know, I know, I seriously need a life outside of my kids). Seriously, though, even if you don't have kids, you will love this show. It was totally designed for those of us raised in the 80's. Of course, all this Gabba Gabba time has started to affect other parts of my life. For instance, I can no longer eat without giving a shout out to my food. It's a little awkward since I usually eat lunch at my desk.

Me: Hey, sushi!
Me: *in a really high-pitched, sushi voice* Yeaaaaaah?!
Me: *in my normal voice* In my tummy, party party
Me: *in a really high-pitched voice* Yeaaaaaah!
Me: *dancing around my cubicle* There's a party in my tummy, so yummy, so yummy!
Random Coworker: Um...Are you alright in there?

It only get's really weird when I get to the part where my uneaten food starts to cry. Yeah, I know, I really need to get a hobby outside of my kids *sigh*

Halloweenies

Angry Sheep Sleepy Sheep

Witches Counting Their Booty

C & Friend Pre-Treat'n

Witches and Their Sacrificial Lamb

Still Kickin'

Sorry I've been a ghost blogger as of late. October was a bit of a hectic month for me, and November doesn't look like it's going to be much different. In early Oct, my moms came to visit and we got to spend some serious quality time together even if it was only for a few days. Then mid-month was our huge base exercise, which I was very heavily involved in. I was pretty much incognito from even my own family for a week. Now we're in the after action & reporting phase (yippee). Next week I'm headed back to Omaha (my favorite place) for more exercise planning. Kids are all alive and well. C & J went to the dentist this past week and discovered they both have cavaties *sigh* So that's $800 out of pocket for dental expenses (god, I miss being overseas!). Evidently preemies and babies who have health issues during their last few months in the womb are more suseptable to getting cavaties because their baby teeth are not formed properly (a little bit o' trivia for ya). Unfortunately, because J is so young, they're actually going to have to sedate her so they can fill her cavaties. So I am taking the day off tomorrow (you're supposed to stay home with them to make sure there aren't any adverse affects from the sedation drugs) to be with her, so hopefully I will have a chance to post pictures then b/c I had some seriously cute Halloweenies this year.

C, J, & I were a coven of witches, and A was our sacrificial lamb (actually, he was more of a sleepy sheep --props to Sandra Boynton-- since he slept the whole time we were out trick-or-treating). We went with a couple of C's friends from school, and it was a lot more fun going with a big group of people. J had an awesome time. She was in total rapture that all these people were handing her candy, and mommy wasn't trying to take it away! :) She did have a small issue with normal Halloween protocal...

*We approach a sweet old lady handing out candy at her door*

Me: What do you say?
J: My candy!

Then, when we got up this morning, J sleepily rubbed her eyes and looked around in a dazed and confused manner. "Where my candy?" she asked. Clearly she has her priorities!

We also went to Hubs' friend's haunted house. Hubs participated in the event (he's the scary monster on the far left), and I brought the kids over after they were done tricks'n and treats'n. C tried to pretend she wasn't scared, but she refused to go back in after we went through it. J did NOT like it at all. Hubs' friend and co-worker was also participating and he jumped out to scare us, he saw J's lip start to tremble, so he immediately took off his mask and treid to reassure her, but she was having no part of it!

Suck it, Baltimore!

Hey, Kids, The Beat of the Day is: I am Not a Whore

So my sis MR and her family were here this weekend for the opening of their show Sock Puppet Show Girls. Hubs and I have never been able to see one of their many artistic ventures because we have always lived so far away, so I was really excited to actually be able to see their creative talents in person (vs. YouTube, which is where you can also find this). The show was totally awesome and stands as a cultural testament to the fact that you can never proclaim, "I am not a whore!" too many times.

Potty Hi-jinks

On Saturday, MR, her Hubs, her in-laws, and her super-adorable daughter Y came over to spend a few hours with us and our crazy brood before heading off on a nice 7 hou drive up to SF, where her in-laws reside. Y chose their visit as her very first time to go poo poo in the potty. Of course, this was greeted by much fan fare by the adults and a yummy chocolate reward. J observed the praise with interest but you should have seen how big her eyes got when she saw Y eating that chocolate. Her skin almost literally turned green with envy as she watched Y enjoy her treat.

J: Y'ena cho'cate?
Me: Yes, Y got chocolate because she went poo poo in the potty. Isn't she a big girl!
J: *hopefully* Me Cho'cate?

Me: No, no. You have to go poo poo in the potty to get chocolate like Y.

*I turn around a few seconds later to see J standing next to the potty with her pants halfway down her ankles.*

J: *firmly* Me go potty.

Me: Okay

.2 seconds later...

J: All done potty. Now cho'cate?

Me: But you didn't actually use the potty.

J: *insistently* Me go potty!

M: No, no. You have to go pee pee or poo poo in the potty to get the chocolate.

J: *sadly* No cho'cate.

Me: Sorry, kiddo.

Yo Crabba Crabba

Not nearly as fun as Biz Markie's beat of the day, J and A (and Hubs) all have major colds going on. A lets us know his distress by refusing to sleep and sneezing out huge, green snot bubbles thus forcing me to use the baby-snot-sucker-outer-bulb-of-extreme-discomfort. It must really suck not to know how to blow your own nose. J, on the other hand, turns into the most crabbiest, crankiest, bitchiest toddler on earth and refuses to do anything but cling to me and cry. What fun!

More 8-Year-Old Humor

C: Mom, can you spell 'I Cup'?
Me: Sure can.
C: Moooom, you're supposed to spell it. *starts to snicker*
Me: Hmmmm, the snickering seems kind of suspicious. Are you trying to trick me?
C: *giggling* Nooooo. Just spell 'I Cup'
Me: Well, why do I have to spell it? Can't you spell it?
C: Mooooom, you're ruining the joke.
Me: Ah hah, so it is a joke.
C: *shrieking* No! It's not a joke. I swear, Mom.
Me: Fine, fine. I-C-U-P
C: *flops over onto her stomach and pounds the bed with her fist in gales of laughter* Bwah hah hah hah!!
Me: Whee hoo, peeing sure is funny.
C: *through her tears of laughter* I know!
Random Pu


Best book title ever or what the Shatwrights should name their next album...also this came up just underneath said book on Amazon search. Is it just me or is it slightly disturbing to think that people who are interested in identifying different types of feces also want to know how to make sexual handicrafts?

Seriously, Oh My Fucking God! That is like a prize-winning watermelon. How do your nether-regions recover from something like that!!??

What the eff?!

Support the Rabid

I heart you, The Office.


So our weekend was fairly uneventful. It actually rained here on Saturday, so C missed her weekly swimming lesson, and we had to cancel our outing to the park. Hubs B-Day was on Sunday, so we went out to a nice local bistro we've been to before for dinner. Then on Monday, I cooked him homemade lasagna and Mom's strawberry pie (his favorite!). Sunday was, of course, a football disaster, but we're slowly becoming immune to this sort of let down from the Bills. I think Hubs might die of joy if they actually win a game this year. Of course, we could be as confused as Chicago...



"Rex Grossman is our quarterback."

"Rex Grossman is our quarterback."

"Rex Grossman is our quarterback."

"Rex Grossman is our quarterback."

"Rex Grossman is our quarterback."

I mean...

"Brian Griese is our quarterback."



Well, maybe they'll actually start winning some games. It just sucks for Buffalo that our back-up is just as crappy as our starter. *sigh*

The Wisdom of Toddlers or How I Got Woken Up Sunday Morning

Sunday morning I am sleeping soundly in my big, warm, comfy bed when suddenly I sense a sinister presence hovering just above me. I sloowly crack open one eye and try to focus on the mischevious brown eyes and ominous mass of red curls looming just inches from my face. "Mama!" the small yet menacing beast shrieks joyously.

"Good morning, Billy Goat." I murmur sleepily.

"Biwy goat." she repeats happily and promptly smacks me in the face to indicate her pleasure.

"Ow! Don't hit mama. Hitting hurts." I tell her, rubbing my face.

Twenty pounds of red curls hurl themselves at me in a small but comforting bear hug. "Sowy, Mama." she says contritely, snuggling her head next to mine. Then, to express her deep remorse, she summarily heat butts me (as billy goats are known to do) and tries to stick her finger in my nose.

"Ouch," I say, removing her finger from its precarious position. "Don't pick mommy's nose."

J looks at me in great confusion. "Pick no' no hurt." she tells me, and proceeds to demonstrate by sticking her finger in her own nose with great gusto. "See. No hurt."

Can't argue with that!


Job Hunting Military Style

No, I'm not referring to the utilization of guerilla tactics (though it is a thought should it continue to take much longer). Searching for a job in my area of expertise is a unique experience. I suppose it doesn't really suffice it to say military style, when what I really mean is intelligence style. The intel world is its own beast with its own language. Since I've been in the community for 10+ years and have knowledge up the ass (too much knowledge as it turns out), I'm able to read these job descriptions and decipher them. Unfortunately, I'm either overqualified and/or it the job description reads like this:

JD: Must have working knowledge of ABC
Me: I have working knowledge of ABC
JD: Must have practical experience with ABFQ
Me: I have practical experience with ABFQ!
JD: Must understand intelligence systems like CROOZY BYTCH, FILCH, and FSTR
Me: Oooo, oooo, I've used CROOZY BYTCH, FILCH, and FSTR
JD: Must be an expert in QRL, BDQ and XYZZZFRTWRD

Me: I am an expert in QRL, BDQ and XYZZZFRTWRD!!!!!

JD: Must be willing to travel overseas* for extended periods of time

Me: Fock
*read: Iraq
Other Tidbits

If you are at a loss to explain my obsession with Top Model (and, rest assured, you are not the only one!), you must read this!

My new favorite song

Mr. Oxygen Bar Inventor

Surprisingly, I have been incredibly busy at work as of late. And, while I much prefer to be running around like a mad woman rather than sitting at my desk staring at some computer-based training module (which is what I do when work is slow), it also means I don't have much time to update my blog. (I know, I know, you're all devastated...all 5 of you ;)


I have been meaning to post my football pictures, but since the Bills have decided that this is the season to take over the dubious distinction of being the worst team in the NFL with this past weekend's humiliating loss to Pittsburgh, I have been too depressed to even look at them. Hubs was particularly morose considering our loss to Denver the week before came after a relatively decent game, which had given us some hope. While he is a diehard Billiever, I am more pragmatic when it comes to our beloved football team. Even so, the embaressment of having only one first down in the entire first half brought Hubs to all-time low. It took him nearly 12 full hours to turn to me and say, "We'll get it back next week. We always play New England tough, right?" To which I could only nod mutely. I did not have the heart to tell him that Bill Bela-cheat's Pats are most likely going to crush us. And it is only Week 2! *sigh*

Driving Home From Dance Class or Pu Makes You Feel Better About Your Commute

A: Waaaaaaaah!
J: Ales! C'ying! No, no c'y, Ales!
C: *singing very loudly and very off-key* Alex is a sad baby, a sad little baby. Why are you crying Alex?

J: *wags her finger at A* No, no c'y, Ales! No, no be sad baby!

C: Ooooooh, Alex is the saddest baby. Whyyyyyyyyy does he cry? Why does he cryyyyyyyyy?

Me: Be quiet!

A: Wahhhhhhhhh!

J: *at the top of her lungs* Cay-et, Ales! Mama say cay-et! Stop c'ying!!

C: *singing* Be quiet, Alex. Mommy says you need to be quiet now!

Me: I am talking to you! Now everybody, for the love of god, just shut it!

C & J pause for about .2 seconds

Me: Thank you

J: *shrieking* Mama not cay-et! Mama not cay-et!

C: Mooom, you talked!

Me: I am the mother here! You cannot tattle about me to me!

Ducks, Thugs, & Harmony

I must share with you the story of J and the Polliwog Park Ducks. C's swimming lessons are held at a public pool in a very large park in Manhattan Beach. I take J with me so that Hubs only has to handle one child while we are gone. The park also has a large duck pond with what appear to be to most tame and people-friendly ducks I have ever encountered. This week J and I brought some extra goldfish to feed the ducks, and I was astonished when we were suddenly surrounded by twenty or so menacingly hungry ducks. J thought this was just the coolest thing and was quite sad when we ran out of goldfish. So she tried fooling the ducks by making a throwing motion with her hand. One particularly fat duck, not being very clever but certainly brave, craned its neck to snatch the invisible food from her hand and succeeded only in snapping its beak onto her little finger. Luckily there was no skin breakage and J was only shocked a bit and not hurt at all. After making sure there were no serious boo boos, J was quite delighted with this turn of events and apparently wanted to continue offering her body as a duck snack because she was quite perturbed when I insisted it was time to leave the ominous gang of duck thugs to their own devices. "Duck eat finger!" she announced proudly.

Foodie Finds

If you enjoy Top Chef, check out Anthony Bourdain's blog
I am a Blossoming Bon Vivant

If you like Top Chef, you'll be thrilled to hear about The Next Iron Chef (I know I was), and one of my favorite foodie bloggers will be covering it!
Proving it is possible to gracefully turn tricks!
Other Tidbits of Amusement for Your Otherwise Drab and Colorless Workday

I've moved from tv commercials to radio ads

Mindless Crap

Because I also blog with a wide stance...albeit mine is due to bearing three children

Recent Pics

In light of recent football events, all you get is pictures...we are too depressed to write :(

C's First Day of School

So...Damn...Hot

Sorry I haven't had the chance to post for a while. Obviously things are a bit hectic now that I'm back at work and all, and, of course, with Hubs being gone last weekend. I swear that the cosmos are totally aware of Hubs' travel patterns and plan accordingly because I got absolutely zero sleep this last weekend. Between J being sick and puking one night, A pissing on my fabulous couch, and the fact that it..was...so...fucking...HOT...that I literally lay in bed in a pool of my own sweat and prayed for morning to come so I could just get a freaking shower! I know I shouldn't bitch, what with the generally gorgeous and perfect weather we have here, but I have lived in some seriously crappy weather places (Seattle rain, West Texas humidity, Misawa snow...) that I deserve good weather (*stomps feet and whines* I deseeeeerve it!) . Plus we don't have A/C, so we were all sweaty and cranky this weekend. Thank god the heatwave seems to have broken and we are getting our breeze back.

C started school today.* She was super excited but a little nervous. She keeps telling me how she's worried about how hard third grade is going to be *gack* (sorry, I just choked a little bit at the thought that I have somehow become old enough to be the mother of a third grader!!) We ran into her friend Hannah while walking to school (I came in late today), so I got some cute pics of them, which I'll upload here at some point. The little ones were pretty good. A decided to wait until the school bell rang to start screaming his poor, little head off. Of course, he didn't stop until we got home, so I'm sure the neighborhood enjoyed that! :)

Not So Cool Mom

C: That's crazy.
Me: Yeah, that's redunkulous**
C: Mo'ooom, redunkulous is not a word.
Me: Of course it's a word. If it wasn't a word how could I say it?
C: *sternly* Mom, redunkulous is not a word.
Me: It isn't?
C: *with a very serious face* No.
Me: Well, I like it.
C: *sighs heavily* Mom, you are so not cool.

*Please do not ask me why RB has kids start school on a Thursday. Who starts their week on a Thursday? Also, do not ask me why the summer camp run by the same city ends 2 weeks before school starts. Maybe they were as confused about the school start date as I was?

**My girl K is always using this expression, which I think is ginormously hilarious. For example, say your organization was planning to be a part of a huge, nation-wide exercise that usually takes upwards of a year or more to plan for. And, say your organization had worked hard on coming up with a scenario for said exercise only to be told by your HHQ (higher headquarters) that the exercise was now going to be led by a totally different and mucher higher HHQ (an HHHQ?) and that your organization was no longer invited to play, nyah, nyah, nyah. Well, first you would feel a little indignent and your feelings would be hurt because you are the evil, red-headed, aquisition step-child that no one wants to play with. Then you would get over it and realize that it saves you a whole heck of a lotta work. Then, several months later, HHQ sends you an e-mail asking for technical data for the scenario you weren't allowed to use because you weren't allowed to participate. And when you ask them what is going on they say, "Oh yeah, did we forget to tell you? We are going to let you play, but, just to get you up to speed, the final planning conference is next week and the exercise is going to kick off next month insetad of in four months. Sooo, we kind of need that incredibly difficult to produce technical data (that you told the engineers not to worry about) like...today." --- that, my friends, is redunkulous.

Flat Like a Pancake...

So Hubs is out of town again *sigh* It's not his fault. Actually, he's gone for a really good reason. My FIL is getting re-married and Hubs is the best man, so he kind of has to be there. I was hoping to go, too, but we just can't afford it right now (especially with all the uncertainty of whether or not we're staying in, where we're going to go, etc). I still felt really bad having to tell my FIL I wouldn't be able to make it, though I'm sure he understood. To make matters even worse just about everyone is sick right now. A is actually the only one who hasn't displayed any symptoms, so he's sure to be sick as a dog this weekend. Lucky me! Plus, this is back-to-school shopping weekend. I had hoped to avoid it, but C really needs some new clothes (her old stuff is starting to look pretty shabby after a long, hard summer of playing!) and she only has one pair of shoes that still fit, and trust me when I say they look like absolute shit. So it's going to be an interesting (and by interesting, I mean stressful and sucky) weekend for me. The only good part is that Hubs feels so guilty for leaving me alone with the kids again that he will be kissing my butt when he gets home (or maybe not now that I've written about it. Way to go me)



Pu's Interpretation of Baby Talk


Waaaaaaaaah! = Oh my god. I'm dying over here, lady. Get off your ass and feed me!
Waaaaaaaaah! = It has been .2 seconds since my last cry and I am still not being fed. What kind of crack house are you running here!?
Waaaaaaaaah! = Okay, this is getting ridiculous. I have been crying for, like, at least 5 seconds, and I have yet to be fed. I want to speak to your manager!
Waaaaaaaaah! = What do you mean there's no manager here? What is this Orbitz customer service? You people are so incompetent. It has been at least 7 seconds since I started crying and I still have no food.
Waaaaaaaaah! = Okay, I know that Dad is out of town and that J is insane and C has been sucked into the mind-numbing vortex known as tv, but doesn't anybody realize that I am the important one here? I am dyyyyying of starvation. It has taken you 10 seconds to feed me and now I have worked myself up and I cannot eat until I have been comforted.
Waaaaaaaah! = Did you hear me??!! I said I must be comforted first! Comforted, I tell you! Now I will do nothing but cry until you stop trying to stick that nipple in my mouth and snuggle me.
Waaaaaaaah! = Snuggle meeeeeee!

*pausing to receive comforting snuggles*

Waaaaaaah! = I know you finally figured out that I needed to be calmed first, and I am actually eating now, but I feel that I still have some crying left in me. I must continue to cry sporadically while you feed because I am upset. I have no idea why I am upset, and neither do you (which is half the fun), but it seems like this crying thing is working out pretty well for me so I am just going to stick with it for a while until I can get J to cry, too. Then you will have a crying baby and a crying toddler, and you will have to choose which one to pay attention to. And it better be me!
Waaaaaaah! = You are not paying enough attention to me! You must look at me while you feed me. You must coo in a high pitched voice and say things like, 'Who's the cutest baby?' using the same voice inflection as Scooby Doo. You must stroke my cheek and ignore that red-haired toddler who is hogging all of your attention.
Whimper, Whimper = Fine, so you have caved into all my demands. Clearly you have no spine, and I must think of other things to cry about.
Waaaaaah! = Now I have gas.

Conversations With 'Toddler-With-a-Cold'



Me: Good morning, sunshine!
J: Humph! *rolls over and hides under covers*
Me: What should we wear today. Ooooh, how about a pretty dress? You love your pretty dress.
J: No.
Me: Okay, how about some shorts and your pink shirt? *enticingly* It's your favorite shirt....
J: No.
Me: Okay, then you can just stay in your night-night clothes all day if you want.
J: No.
Me: Then what would you like to wear?
J: No.
Me: Fine, you can just be naked.
J: No.
J: Ses'me Steet!
Me: Oh, you want to wear your Sesame Street outfit.
J: No.


J: A'les yucky.
Me: What's wrong with Alex?
J: A'les wet. Ew!
Me: Did he spit up? *discovers that A has not, in fact, spit up. Rather, he has wet himself and the last blanket that is not in the wash* Oh, shit!
J: *helpfully* Shat!
Me: Don't say that.
J: Shat!
Me: *trying to clean up the mess while fending off J, who is trying to be helpful by handing me back all of the soiled clothes I am throwing on the floor* God dammit, Jesus Christ!
J: Jeeeesa. *pause* Shat!


C-Isms

Some More Amusement to Help Waste Your Workday...
Butt Minus, hee.

Something you will only find funny if you happen to live in Amsterdam and/or are a fan of Lost (only 6 more months, aghhhhhh!)

If you haven't heard about poor Miss Teen South Carolina then you must live under a rock. --
how sad is it that this is what passes for news in the States*

*I guess those South Korean missionary hostages being released by the Taliban after the South Korean government bought them off isn't quite as exciting as making fun of a teenage girl who fucked up a pageant question.

No VSP :(

If you were wondering whether or not the VSP program for '08 came out (as I'm sure you all were), it did and, of course, I am not eligible. Seems the AF finally got a clue after making so many personnel cuts last year that we were practically bleeding intel officers. After over a year of kicking people out left and right they finally realized, "Hey! There's a war going on and we're getting rid of all our experienced people. Perhaps that is not the smartest move?" So, all operational AFSC's (which includes yours truly) are now off the list of folks they're willing to cut loose seeing as they're now down to 65% manning for intel captains. Way to go, AF! I remember when we first had all the mandatory info meetings about the force shaping program, and the officer in charge would get up and declare vehemently that the AF WAS NOT going to make the same mistakes they did last time (in the mid-90's when they got rid of a ton of people after the 1st Gulf War). This time it would be different! This time they had a plan! Oh, how I laughed and laughed. Somehow it seemed fairly obvious to me that one's military should probably not start giving out incentives to get rid of people while, you know, there's a war going on! But, then, I actually have a brain, something that the folks at AFPC clearly lack. So now they've finally gotten a clue, just in time to screw me. Figures.

At any rate, we're now in the process of trying to igure out what the hell we're going to do. Right now I'm sort of hedging my bets as to whether I'll stay in or not. My boss is trying to see if there's any way I can get a guaranteed state-side deployment. If that's a possibility, I may stay in a bit longer. If not, well, I've already started putting my resume out there. I figure it can't hurt to see what I'm worth on the outside.

Drama, Drama, Drama

I think all of my children are born with the drama queen gene. A is clearly learning from his older sisters and has learned how to manipulate Mommy into doing just what he wants. He likes to fuss and cry so that I go to all the trouble of getting ready to feed him, then he'll refuse to take the nipple and just sit there and smile at me so that I can't get angry because he's just so darn cute. Or I'll have him in my arms but be paying attention to something else and he'll start twisting and fussing until I look at him. Then he'll smile really big as if to say, Pay attention to meeeeeee! Of course, being a drama queen has its advantages for us parents. For example, it's very easy to distract J when she's throwing a tantrum. All I have to do is start pointing out old boo-boos and she will hold up whatever body part it is for kisses and forget all about whatever it was she was throwing a fit about. Very useful!

A Year of Pu

As many of you may be aware, I had a birthday on Monday. I am now one year older and one year sexier (and have added one more kid to the mix). I feel very accomplished ;)

Hubs took me to a nice romantic restaurant in Hermosa Beach. The service was lacking a bit, but we had a very secluded table with no one else around and the food was decent. Plus, there was nary a child to be found! I also got a new pair of sunglasses, some new sandals, one of my fave beatnik books (Naked Lunch, the restored edition), and a black purse that I can actually carry in uniform so that I no longer have to attempt to stuff the contents of my purse into my pockets every work day (yay!).

In other news, C leaves tomorrow to fly all by herself to Abq to visit the old folks home..I mean, the grandparents ;) She is extremely excited to be attending the Grandma & Grandpa Pu Joint Cooking & Baking School for Grandchildren. She hopes to earn her degree in 8-Year Old Prep Cook/Baker in just three days! (Well, she's flying back on Sunday, so, really, she doesn't have much of a choice) I, on the other hand, am extremely apprehensive since C is not exactly known for her shyness. Hopefully she gets a good seatmate who isn't too annoyed by the the constant chatter he/she is sure to be subjected to. I imagine many crying baby flights will be ion my karmic future to make up for this!

Anecdotes From Pu's Corner

#1 Why you should always be careful about the expressions you use around children
Me: *after instructing said kiddos on what to do* And, hop to it!
C: *whispers loudly to T as they scamper out of the kitchen* She said we were supposed to hop!
Me: Not literally!

#2 I must admit that while things have calmed down somewhat since we downsized tha family, things are still a bit hectic when we are all squished into a small space. Yesterday's car ride home was just another example of why god created radios with the ability to turn the volume waaay up ;)
Me: So how was your day?
C: I wish the world was edible.
J: *having been denied the ability to buckle her car seat seatbelt by Nature and Mom's quick fingers* Meeeee do it!! Meeee wanna do it!
Me: It's already done! Now why would you want the world to be edible?
A: *realizing that someone else is crying in some near proximity and that he must automatically top them for loudest crier* Waaaaaaaah!
C: Because then I could eat everything like the trees, the sidewalk, the playground...
J: Meeee do it! *begins kicking my chair rhythymically* Meeeeeeee!
C: the house, my sister, the beach, the sand...
A: Waaaaaaaaah!
Me: *attempting to ignore the screamers in the backseat* What about clothes? What would you do if someone ate your pants?
C: *in a 'duh, Mom' voice* Well, everyone would just wear two pairs of pants. That way if someone ate your pants you would still not be naked.
J: *daunted by A's cryin' throwdown begins sniffing pitifully* Me do it. *sniff* Big girl. Big girl do it. *sniff*
A: *not yet realizing he has won the crying competition* Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
C: Or, I could just wear a skirt.
Me: What if someone ate both pairs of your pants?
C: *looks at me like I have lost my mind* Who would do that?
Me: Ah yes, how silly of me. Clearly eating two pairs of pants is out of the question.
C: Yeah! You'd get a stomach ache.

#3 J's vocabulary expansion

J is at that stage now where her vocabulary is growing leaps and bounds every day. I think toddlers learn something like 10-15 new words on average per day. Our conversations have gone from...

J: Momee! Momee! Momee! Momee! Momee! Momee! Momeeeeeeeee!
Me: What!!??
J: *proudly* Bubbles.

to...

J: Momee, look'it! Momee, look'it! Momee, look'it! Momee, look'it! Momee, look'it! Momeeeeeee, look'it!
Me: What!!??
J: *proudly* Me bo' bubbles.


#4 More Humor From the Mind of an 8-Year Old


C: *pointing to the backseat* Mommy, there's something down there!
Me: What?
C: Just look, Mommy! Look down there.
Me: I can't right now, I'm driving. Just tell me what it is.
C: Mooom! I'm supposed to say l'ook down there', and then you say, 'Under where?'
Me: Why?
C: Just do it! Pleeease, Mom.
Me: Fine, under where?
C: Hahahaha! You said underwear!
Me: *sigh*

HR Hatin'

So for about a month now the AFPC (AF Personnel Center - our HR peeps) has had August 15th posted as the date when the fiscal year 2008 VSP (voluntary separation pay) plan is supposed to come out. As many of you know, I have been waiting for this program to come out so I can put in my separation paperwork and get a nice, fat chunk o' change. I wanted to make sure that I was first in line so that I could be guaranteed a slot (the AF is being much smarter about getting rid of people who have overages in their career fields and mine only has a few slots left after the FY 07 program closed out in May). So I tried calling my local personnel office about 50x both yesterday and today, and, of course, no one answered the phone or returned any of my messages because they are HR and what do they care about my career? So I sucked it up and got the kiddos up early and headed on down to base first thing this morning to make sure I got my paperwork in. When I get to the MPF (personnel office) the two civilian ladies working the customer service desk (who don't bother to get up and answer my question for 10 minutes -- EVEN THOUGH I AM THE ONLY PERSON IN THE OFFICE -- because one of them is on the telephone) have no idea what I am talking about. In fact, they don't even know what the VSP is. This is the customer service section, people. This program (for FY 07) has been out for over a year and they don't know what I am talking about??!! Finally, one of them suggests that I go upstairs and talk to the folks in Separations (who I had also tried calling with no success). So I go up there with questions in hand and receive the same blank stare from the girl in uniform at their front desk. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?? These are the people who are supposed to be helping me and they don't have the first freaking clue what I am talking about. Can you seriously be that incompetent at your job? Finally she locates someone who actually knows what I am talking about and it turns out that AFPC has not yet released the message for the FY 08 program (in spite of the fact that the website has been saying it will be released today for the last damn month). Not only that, but he has no idea when the message will be released, what it will say, or what information I'll need to provide them with when the message is actually released. So I got the kids up early (meaning I stayed up after A's 5am feeding since it takes me that long to get everyone ready) and drove all the way to base for nothing all because AFPC didn't bother to update their website on, you know, the 14th of August and because no one would answer their goddamn phone. If I hadn't had the kids with me, I might have just let a few choice words fly (which would probably have been quite stupid since I will eventually have to go through these people to put my paperwork in even if they have no idea what they are doing). I can't believe that my HR department is so damn incompetent. Okay, that's not true. HR is almost always incompetent, but it's still very frustrating!

In other news, Hubs is on a business trip to Toronto this week, so I am all alone with the kids, wah! Plus his cell phone is getting roaming charges out there (I guess b/c he's in another country), so we can't even talk that much since we don't want to run up our phone bill :( Hubs is my beacon of sanity in an otherwise poop and puke-filled world. I miss him so much!

2 Down, 3 To Go

Of course the last one still has another 18 or so years before I can legally kick him out of the house, but who's counting? ;)

The step-kiddos left this weekend (in case you hadn't grasped that fact from my ever so obvious post title), and we are down to just our three. In fact, today is my first day sans kiddos in god knows how long (okay, technically there is a newborn in the house but since he sleeps for longer than a fifteen minutes at a time, he no longer counts!). Ah, sweet freedom! I can't remember the last time I had a good twenty minute stretch without hearing:

"Mom, I'm bored!"

"Mom, he/she hit me!"

"Mom, he/she is teasing me!"

"Mom, J/V/C/T won't share!"

"Mom, J/V/C/T said I'm a poop/booger/fart-head/nose/butt!"

"Mom, I'm still bored!"

"Mom, 'Nessa/Ca'tin/Tommy hit/bonk face/head (or some toddler-speak combination thereof)

Let me tell you, a baby screaming is nothing compared to hours on end of yelling at 4 insane children:

"Stop jumping on the bed!"

"Stop running in the house!"

"Don't hit your sister/brother!"

"Stop mauling your brother. Faces are not ticklish!"

*screaming at the top of my lungs* "Stop screaming! The baby is sleeping!" --and if that sounds counterproductive, let me tell you, it is.

At any rate, I do actually have things to do today (I go back to work on Thursday *sigh*). So I'l leave you with some pearls of wisdom I gleaned from someone else's blog (linked to by my sis MR):

Top 10 Toddler Rules of Possession
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in anyway.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours

Quick Pics

I know I've been incognito for the last month, but I promise a nice long update when everyone leaves this weekend. A few things you may have missed: J turned 2 and A hit the two month mark. Hope you all are slightly less frazzled than I am!

I Am Losing My Mind...

Here's some pics my mom took (and some more recent ones) to tide you over.

A's Birth Story (Finally!)

So, on Sunday (June 3rd, my lil' sis' b-day) I kept having this wierd feeling, umm, down there. Like I was leaking or something, but there was hardly any fluid at all and I had had so many false alarm feelings before. I didn't want to send the girls to the sitter and trek on down to the hospital for just a false alarm, so I figured it was better to take the wait and see approach. If the contractions started coming, I'd surely have enough time to get to the hospital! Anyway, this went on all day with no contractions, so I chalked it up to me just wanting it to happen versus anything actually be labor-icious about it. (I did call my mom just in case, and she changed her plane ticket to arrive on Monday instead of Tuesday, which was when I was supposed to be induced). So we went about our day and went to bed as usual. At about 2am I woke up to a terrible contraction, but I figured it was just a BH and tried to go back to sleep. But they just kept coming In fact I was starting to get a little pissed because I couldn't get back to sleep thanks to my contractions! Finally, I got the brilliant idea to just get up and start timing them. So I went downstairs (so as not to wake the Hubs) and got on the computer to do what any woman in my situation would do: Google for signs of active labor. Of course I didn't find anything particularly helpful, but it was comforting to think I was doing something rather than just sitting there. After about an hour of my contractions coming at very regular intervals of about 5min apart, I starting thinking that maybe this wasn't another false alarm. So I went upstairs to let Hubs know. Unfortunately, I may have cried wolf one too many times.
Me: I think I'm going into labor.
Hubs: (muttering sleepily) No you're not. Go back to sleep.
Me: (a little indignantly) Um, I'm pretty sure about this. My contractions are coming every five minutes apart.
Hubs: (sleepily) Mmm hmm. Just get back in bed.
Me: (getting angry) No, I'm serious. In fact I'm getting one right now. Ow, OW! Now get your ass out of bed and take me to the hospital!
Hubs: (yawns) Can't it wait until morning?
Me: Only if you want me to have this baby on our new bed.
Hubs: (springing out of bed) And off we go!

So, we woke the girls up and packed a quick overnight bag and took them over to BS's house. J seemed very confused and a little scared about the whole situation. She didn't even want to get out of the car when we got to BS's (and she loves it over there), but C was pretty nochalant. She is a heavy sleeper no matter what, so I don't think she cared about anything except going back to sleep. Then we headed off to the hospital. We arrived and parked in the emergency room parking lot (it was only about 3:30-4am so the front doors were locked). Immediately we were directed to Labor and Delivery on the 3rd floor. I, being the person in labor, was concentrating on being able to walk through the pain and neglected to listen to the directions from the front desk staff. My Hubs also neglected to listen for reasons I have yet to figure out. Luckily most of the doors around us were locked, so we were able to navigate ourselved to the right elevator by process of elimination.

Once we got into L&D, they hooked me up to the machines, measured my cervix (3cm) and started measuring my contractions. They were looking pretty wimpy on the monitor, but, by this time, I was absolutely sure I was in labor because they felt so strong. After about an hour, my nurse checked my cervix again and I was up to 4cm, so it was determined that I was, in fact, in labor. (Me to Hubs: "Told you so!") So I was transferred to a delivery & recovery room and given a permanent nurse (her name was Cam Cameron, no really!) who was really awesome. They asked me if I wanted my epidural now or if I wanted to wait. Having done the whole brave thing in the past (and not having one for C's birth), I immediately said yes. L&D apparently wasn't too busy that night b/c the anesthesiologist came in right away (yay!). The epidural was fairly easy, although I did get some pain in my right lower back, which kind of freaked me out. Then my blood pressure started to drop (this is a normal reaction to an epidural), which makes you feel very dizzy and faint and can actually be a little scary, but they put some shit in my IV which made it stabilize and pretty soon I was just sitting there, happily numb, waiting for my baby to come. After what seemed like a very short while, Cam checked my cervix again and announced that I was already at 8cm. Although they had paged my doc, he obviously wasn't going to get there in time, so the doc on call came over to deliver me. Hubs held my hand and I pushed for about 15 min (same as with C) and out popped A.

So, after my crazy experiences with C (extremely long and difficult labor) and J (scary labor worrying about her health), I finally got the "normal" experience I was hoping for. And, it was really quick! I woke up at about 2am with the start of my contractions, and A was born at 8:36am, so I was only in labor for about 6 hours. Not too shabby! The recovery this time around did seem harder, though. I had a lot of joint pain (horrible feeling like your joints are bing pulled apart), so it was difficult to even get in and out of bed. Plus, Hubs had to go back to work right away, so it was just me and the kids after my moms left (thank god she was there for the 1st two weeks and basically did everything!). I've posted before about A being a difficult baby, so I won't repeat all that here but that has definately added an extra level of stress to the whole experience. Luckily it seems like his constipation is clearing up and his stuffy nose has finally cleared up, so I can stop stressing out about his breathing. Also, we moved his bassinet downstairs and out of our room, which seems to have helped quite a bit with his sleeping (and mine!), so I get at least a couple of hours at a time.

So that is my story. I feel like it is so boring after all the excitement of C and J's births, but I am so happy to have had the whole experience of going into labor on my own (even though it wasn't nearly as exciting as I thought it would be!). Hope you all enjoyed it!

Each new generation born is in effect an invasion of civilization by little barbarians

So we're gearing up for the invasion. The step-kids arrive this weekend, and my MIL will be here on Tuesday. So, C and I are cleaning the house like mad since it will most likely not be clean again for another month!


Proud Mommy Moments

#1 Alex's 1st Smile

I was sitting on the couch holding Alex, cooing and smiling and tickling his cheeks. He looked deep into my eyes - clearly communing with me on a deep mother to child level - and gave me a big smile! My heart brimmed over with joy and motherly pride at my little boy's beautiful smile...and, then...he farted. *sigh*

#2 J's New Word

Hubs and I were sitting at the kitchen table playing Uno (we have such exciting lives), and J was sitting at the other end of the table coloring on a piece of paper. Hubs and I can be very competetive when it comes to games, i.e. we live to talk a lot of trash. Hubs isn't necessarily the best at, um, hiding his colorful language, so he was letting a few choice words fly as I kicked his ass. J was really getting into her coloring and at one point the pen flew off the paper in a particularly violent way. "Oh!" exclaimed J, forming a big "O" of surprise with her mouth and slapping her hands to her cheeks in comedic fashion (clearly she is taking after her big sis in the drama queen department! "Oh, fock!" she said.

Me: *mouth hanging open* What did you say?!
J: *not paying any attention to me* Fock...*in a sing-song voice* fock, fock, fock
Me: *to Hubs* This is all your fault
J: *nodding sagely* Fock.

#3 C the Comedian

C: Knock, knock
Me: *reading a magazine* Hmmm?
C: Mom, I'm telling a joke. I say 'knock, knock,' then you have to say, 'who's there?'
Me: I do, huh?
C: Moooom! Just say it!
Me: Okay, okay. Who's there?
C: No, you have to wait until I say 'Knock, knock."
Me: But you just said it.
C: No I didn't! I was telling you what to say!
Me: Whatever. Tell your joke, honey.
C: Okay, okay. Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
C: Boo. Now you say, 'Boo who?'
Me: You know, jokes are a lot more funny if you don't tell the audience what they're supposed to do.
C: Moooom! Just say it!
Me: Fine, fine. Boo who?
C: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Me: You didn't say the punchline.
C: No, you did! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Me: Wow. Remind me to make sure you don't pursue a career in comedy.

Other Random Tidbits

I am seriously contemplating buying this for Mom.

They've finally stopped playing that highly aggrevating K-Mart commercial every five seconds, only to replace it with that equally annoying Oreo commercial with the upside down faces of kids singing. You know, the one where they sing the Oreo theme song in cutesy, off-key voices with faces painted on their chins. Whoever thought up that ad campaign should be shot.

This is for AinA and her uni memories! :)

TLC has a new show coming out called A Model Life. It's a reality program about teaching wannabe models how to make it in the biz. Sound familiar? What a total ripoff of Top Model! I can't believe tv has sunk so low that copycat reality programs are being greenlit. What a sad world we live in...You know I'll totally be watching it... I'm so ashamed

Moms the Word

I haven't had much time to post all the crazy bloggy ideas I've had lately (remind me to write about C's recent foray into being a comedian - let's just say that an 8 year olds sense of humor is quite different and leave it at that ;), but, after rereading some of my more recent posts, I realized I never paid proper homage to my moms. She came out here when A was born to help us out, and let me just say that I have no idea how I would have made it without her. My mom is so awesome! She took care of the girls, helped me with A, cooked for us, drove me and the girls around. Basically she did everything! She's done so many wonderful things for me over the years. Everything from helping me during my move from Texas to Japan to watching C when I was at ASBC for 6 weeks to coming to Japan to help out with J (not to mention all the financial and emotional support for everything from scraped knees to college to divorce). My mom is truly the greatest, and I don't thank her enough for everything she does for me. I feel so blessed that after everything we've been through (and everything I put her through), she still loves me unconditionally and we have such a great friendship. I love you, Mom!

But This Makes It All Worth It

How Was Your 4th?

Cause mine pretty much sucked. I know I've been sort of incognito since A's birth, and I appologize for that. I thought I would have all this time to take care of projects and catch up on my correspondence while I stayed home. But it turns out that every time you add another child to your family things get just a little bit harder. Who knew?! Additionally, it appears that my difficult pregnancy was just a prelude of things to come. A is a difficult baby. I think it's too early to say he's colicky, but he does cry an awful lot. We ended up missing the fireworks yesterday because I was too exhausted to do anyting (I was up from about 2:30 the night before with A). I thought it was just constipation (we have started supplementing with formula because I don't make enough milk to satisfy him - this is an issue I've had with all my kids but usually not so soon), but we took care of that (I was scared to do it, but a rectal thermometer is a god send for mom's with constipated babies) and he is still fussy! He is just very needy. He needs to be held all the time, that seems to be the only thing that calms him down. That's not to say that he cries constantly. He also sleeps ;) No, he does have a few waking periods where I lay him under him jungle gym or put him in the swing, but those times usually last for about 10-15 mintues and then its back to fussing. I don't think I will be nearly as depressed to return to work this time around!

J has hit the terrible twos like a hurricane (which is pretty much how she does everything). She has become slightly more needy and definately has more tantrums than before A arrived. I totally love this age, too, because she's talking and communiating with me and can play real games (we got her a play kitchen and a Barbie play house - yay Craigslist), but it is difficult to balance a needy toddler and a needy baby. And, poor C is just getting shafted at this point. She's mommy's little helper. The only problem is she tends to live in her own little world (I told you she took after AinA!). So if I send her up to get a diaper for A or J she will most likely make a detour to pretend the diaper is a magical talisman which can change her into a princess. While extremely cute, this is also incredibly irritating when I have baby shit on my hands.

To top it all off, we found out on Monday that Hubs is going to have to get surgery in a couple of weeks. He's got a hernia, so now he's in the position of not being able to lift anything (especially a wriggly toddler or baby), so now I get to know he felt all these last few months. All I can say is thank god this happened now when I am sufficiently healed to handle the kids and not a few weeks ago! Luckily my MIL will be here when Hubs goes in for surgery (not so luckily we'll also have my step-kids, so it will be 5 kids and 2 able bodied adults), so I'll have some help with the kids while he's recovering.

Anyway, sorry for all the whining. But if I didn't whine to you all, then Hubs would have to deal with it, and I just don't think he can take any more stress! ;) We'll be okay (have I mentioned recently how happy I am to not be pregnant anymore?), we just have to make it through these next couple of months and pray that A learns to sleep through the night sometime soon!

While I'm Up...

It's 4am and I'm up with Alex (again). I'm too tired to put together a coherent post (still working on that birth story, I swear!), so I'll just follow my sister's lead and post you a link in the spirit of sharing. It's summertime and there's no better time for a foodie (in my opinion). If you're interested in learning about how to eat more local foods check out this site. Or if you want to put your kids to work so you can have strawberries year round (and make them think its fun) why not look for a place to pick your own produce? Or if you're too lazy for that (or live too far away), just look for a farmer's market in your area. Happy eating, everyone!

Notes From the Corner

I will get around to posting Alex's birth story one of the days, I swear! Its just been very hectic around here lately. I think once A is sleeping through the night things will be a lot easier, but, right now, I am hanging on by a thread! Yesterday I decided to keep both girls home (C is out of school and her 1st day of camp isn't until Monday, so it wasn't a big leap to decide to keep J home, too). We are seriously toying with the idea of taking J out of daycare while I am at home both to save some serious money and also because this is really the only time I will have as a stay-at-home mom, so I might as well make it so I can't wait to get back to work! ;) Seriously, though, I don't know how my mom did it. I only have 2 under 2, at one point, my mom had 3 under 3 at home with her with my dad on the road all the time. I would have gone insane. I don't even think I'm sane now! Don't get me wrong, we are so excited to have A finally here (and I don't want to complain too much since I am just greatful not to be pregnant anymore!), but, at this moment in time, I think it is better to wait between kids. I feel like I am losing out on my special time with J because I am stuck in one place breastfeeding or soothing A (he is not a good sleeper!), and I'm shortchanging both myself and A on what should be our spcial bonding time together, especially since this is going to be my last one. We'll see if I still feel the same way once A is sleeping normally and we've settled into a routine, but, for right now, my advice to all you gals thinking about having another one is to wait!



Like I said, though, I shouldn't complain because I am just so freaking happy to not be pregnant anymore! C is so excited to be out of school and going back to camp. J is at that stage right now where she is learning new words and objects at an incredibly rapid pace. Today we were playing with her animals puzzle book and she was pointing out the lions, tigers, and panda bears. It was so cute! C is going to join the library's summer reading program this year (we wanted to do it last year, but all the meetings are at like 3pm and I couldn't get out of work). This years theme is being a super sleuth, so maybe I'll take her to see that new Nancy Drew movie. I'll post more later, A is starting to get restless!

The Latest

Sorry I haven't been updating. Alex has a cold or allergies or something because he is really stuffed up and having trouble breathing through his nose, so he is not sleeping very well. Which means I am not sleeping very well (Hubs is back at work, so I am designated baby getter), so you are all just going to have to wait with bated breath for more baby details. So here's the skinny to tide you over: my mom spent two weeks with us and was a huge, awesome help that I think I would have died without; J is handling the whole situation pretty well, she is definately more demanding than usual but not as bad as I thought she would be; C is almost done with school, so I'm including some pics of her at her 2nd grade picnic; A is not sleeping and eats every 1-2 hours anyway; I am cranky and have an insanely irrational hatred of that K-Mart commercial with the lightbulb and the annoying chick. Everytime this she bites her lip in that fake cutesy way I just want to punch her right in the face. Of course, I also cried when the Carl's Jr people left my chicken sandwich off our order, so maybe I'm also a little hormonal (just a little). Hubs is back at work and not getting much sleep either, and he's really, really sick of watching Law & Order reruns ;) So, here's some pictures to keep you all occupied until I have enough brain cells to put together a coherent post.

Alex's Funky Faces