Monday, April 30, 2007
In other news, I was perusing one of my favorite sites for workout DVDs when I came across this. While I found the idea of it hilarious, I have to wonder what the reaction would be if it were titled, The Fat Ass Wife Workout.
Second best commercial ever! I do stuff like that all the time! :)
Friday, April 27, 2007
This is precisely what happened with J, so they are going to start keeping an even closer eye on me than they have been. It is a little disappointing since everything seemed to be going so well, but we knew this was a possibility with my history. The difference this time around is that we were aware of the problem and monitored for it, so there are no surprises. With J, it was such a shock to hear that something might be wrong and to be forced to be induced on that very same day in a hospital in nowhere Japan with no NICU was very scary. Here we are in a city with some of the best health care in the nation available to us. I live within a 20min drive of three different hospitals, all with NICUs. Plus, baby is already weighing just about what J weighed when she was born, so he is already at a weight where he has an excellent chance of survival outside of the womb. So even though it wasn't the news we wanted to hear, I am feeling okay about the whole situation. PS said to take it easy (ha!) and to try not to lift J or other heavy objects and to rest as much as possible on my left side so that the baby can get as much oxygen as possible.
So that's where we're at right now. I just wanted to give everyone a heads up since, if things don't improve in the next couple of weeks, it looks like we may have to induce early with this one, too. Maybe if I eat a lot of ice cream baby will start to put on weight? ;)
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Okay, I seriously wanted to do a funny post about pregnancy, really I did, but I just can't seem to muster up my sense of humor lately. Maybe it's because the baby has dropped and how there is a 1lb baby head wedged in my pelvis so I (literally) waddle around rocking from side to side like a Weeble Wobble. Or maybe it's because I have a pinched nerve in my back so that when I get up to pee for the 15th time during the night I (again, literally) have to crawl to the bathroom on my hands and knees because I can't put any weight on my left leg. Or maybe it's because I now have to wear panty liners just in case I happen to sneeze, cough, or laugh too hard and have an *ahem* leakage problem. Or maybe it's because it has become so difficult to shave my legs that I have resorted to bizarre methods of hair removal in order to avoid bending over (hence the Nair debacle). Or maybe it's because I lumber around so slowly that my 1 1/2 year old can easily out run me, knows this, and delights in doing so since she thinks it is all a big funny game to make Mommy chase her around trying to get her to put her diaper on.
I am recording all this now in the hopes that the next time I say I want to have a baby Hubs knocks me upside the head and reminds me of how miserable I was for the last two months of this pregnancy since God seems to think it's really funny to make women forget about the excruciating pain they go through within hours of giving birth (I guess he has to otherwise who in their right mind would ever give birth more than once!)
Thought I'd share what currently passes for humor in my house:
Me: What's yuck?
C & J: Hahahahahaha
Me: What's ew?
J: *makes farting noise*
C&J: Hahahaha hahahaha hahahaha
C recently taught J how to make loud farting noises with her mouth, and they both think this is the most hilarious thing in the world. Bathtime has become Dueling Fart Noise time in our household despite my repeated attempts to nip it in the bud. Of course, it doesn't help that I also happen to think farting is pretty damn funny, so I'm sure my giggling along doesn't exactly inspire them to stop. I guess I should be greatful that they're just making rude noises and not trying to stick crayons in their butts (Y - I'm looking at you ;).
I seriously love this commercial.
C has recently become very interested in anatomy. I think this is both a product of her age and the fact that I am having another baby. She has started expressing curiosity about my giganto boobs (she confided that Trevor, the "bad boy" of her class, looked up the word breast in the dictionary. Apparently this is extremely funny to the average 2nd grader.) So I, being the liberated woman I am, decided to go out and buy her every book about female anatomy they have on Amazon. Now, I don't know about you all, but when I was growing up, we had My Body, My Self and that was about it. So I was totally shocked to find out there are about 1 million books about all kinds of anatomical issues I had never even thought to address. Here's a few of my favorites:
Who's Knees Are These? (Is this seriously a problem for some kids?)
The Truth About Poop (He works for the NSA. He's actually a member of the Priore of Scion. He's a transvestite hooker who regularly appears on Jerry Springer!...don't ask me why I think of poop as a he...)
You Can't Taste a Pickle With Your Ear (This one is actually pretty good advice considering C once shoved a daisy so far up her nose it took a trip to the doctor to remove it)
But this is my favorite.
Fear me, for I have learned to link!!
Friday, April 20, 2007
#1 I have gained more weight with this pregnancy already than I did with Jocelyn altogether (I also started at a very low weight, so my body isn't used to carrying all this extra poundage around.)
#2 I have a toddler this time around, so I am bending over a lot more and carrying her around, which is an extra 20lb on top of the rest of the weight I have gained.
#3 This is baby #3! My body is simply giving out from all the abuse I've put it through.
Me: So, what you're saying is that there's really nothing I can do about the fact that it takes me a good 10 minutes just to get out of bed in the morning?
Dr: Yes, that's right. You just have to suffer through the pain and act like nothing is wrong since you still have to work and be a mom and there is nothing you can do about it. Ha ha ha ha ha (okay, maybe I imagined the sinister laugh at the end)
Me: You suck
In other baby news, the head is down and I'm experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions (I had these for a month b4 C was born, so they're nothing to me but an extra pain in the ass, literally!): however, the cervix is still closed and the baby is measuring and weighing at his proper age so I will most likely go to around my due date. I can't decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
Don't use Nair. It sucks.
I want a Peg Perego Duette stroller. I also want to keep my new boobs. I am shit out of luck.
Dilemma #2 or Why Do These Things Keep Happening to Me:
So, I get this e-mail today from C's bio dad that he wants to fly C up to the Emerald City for a few days over 4th of July weekend. As you all know, he just saw her for the 1st time in 3 years last weekend, and he hasn't exactly been a huge part of her life since we left the EC in 2003. Additionally, I don't get child support (never pushed for it since I make 3x what he makes) or any other monetary support from him and never have. He's never put one red cent towards her care. I never really pursued the issue since, like I said, I make a heck of a lot more money than he does, and I didn't see the point in putting him in the poor house when I didn't really need the money. Now I'm beginning to feel a little annoyed since he has also asked to have her over her birthday. Where is all this $$ coming from that he can now ask to see her 3x in one year? For the last 3 years he's been telling me that he didn't have any $$ to help out, and I know he still has the same job and same apartment. I realize we're somewhat closer now than we were before, but I had offered him chances in the past to see C on my dime (most notably when my most wonderful parents came to my rescue and watched C for me while I attended ASBC for 6 weeks a few years back) and he was "unable" to take me up on any of those offers. Also, I feel slightly uncomfortable with the whole situation now. C idolizes her bio father; he has become this imaginary figure who can come and rescue her whenever Mommy is being mean. I'm scared that he's going to come back into her life only to have to leave it again, and I know that would devestate her. Or maybe I just feel threatened. In fact, I think I do, but I'm not sure why. So, what should I do? Should I let her go (even though it terrifies me to think about putting her on a plane by herself, she's certainly old enough to do so now. And I recall doing the same thing at about her age when I went to visit my grandparents in CT.)? Should I question him about the whole finances thing? I also kind of feel bitter about that. While I certainly make more $$, I also have a family to support and it doesn't seem fair that T and I support my step-kids financially while C's bio dad offers nothing for her care. Or is that kind of petty? It's not so much the actual $$ as it is the prinicple of the thing. I didn't care that he wasn't giving her any financial support b/c he wasn't really giving her any kind of support! Now he wants to be a bigger part of her life, so is it right for me to ask him to essentially pay for the priviledge? Have I mentioned that being a parent is hard?
Also, I should never be allowed to post in a short timeframe. My last post is so riddled with spelling and grammar errors, I'm surprised anyone was able to grasp its meaning.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Oh, and I totally meant to post this earlier, but I wanted to give a shout to to my big sis and my girl Susanne who sent me clothes for various kids. We so appreciate having such wonderful people in our life!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
However, on occasion, I have to ask BS to watch Caitlyn for me as well. Caitlyn is obviously much older than the children BS usually has (they range from newborns to about pre-school age and come on different days and times, I think Jocelyn is actually the only full-time child she has on a daily basis), and, in my personal opinion, I don't think BS likes Caitlyn very much. This is highly unusual, as Caitlyn is a definate charmer with adults, and all of her teachers/coaches/rec leaders, etc. are always telling me how much they adore Caitlyn and love having her around. This week is Spring Break for the kiddos, so I asked BS to watch Caitlyn full-time for the week since it would have cost me $200 to have her go to the Parks and Rec camp (she goes to the Parks and Rec afterschool care, which is a reasonable $250/quarter), plus it is a lot easier on me to have the girls both in one place for pick ups and drop offs. So, yesterday I swing by BS's after work to pick up the girls. I innocently ask if the girls were well behaved only to get the "stern" look from BS...
BS: Well, Jocelyn was an angel, as usual. But, this one (pointing at Caitlyn, who is standing next to the door with her head down looking very sad)... She's a problem child.
Me: What happened?
BS: Well, so and so came by to tell me she has decided not to go back to work so she won't be needing my services any more. So Caitlyn then asks her why she came by at all.
BS: And, that's it. It was so rude of her, and so and so was just stunned by it.
Me: I'm not sure I'm getting this. What did Caitlyn say?
BS: She asked so and so why she came to the house.
Me: And this was rude?
BS: This was very rude and you should really talk to her about it. She says rude things like that all the time and she needs to understand that you can't talk to adults like that.
BS: And, she is very mean to her sister.
Now, Caitlyn is standing right next to us during this entire exchange! I am thinking to myself that this is a serious overreaction on BS's part since kids say dumb things all the time and they certainly don't mean anything rude by it, and clearly BS is getting that impression because she then shoots this look to her daughter (a total mini-BS who is also a nurse and therefore thinks she can diagnose me every time I happen to see her) as if to say "See, I told you she wouldn't do anything about it." Then BS rolled her eyes (rolled her eyes!!!) and threw her hands up in the air.
Me: Okay, girls, it's time to go.
So I did manage to get out of there without strangling her, which I was very, very proud of. Maybe it's because I am 8 mos preggo and I am stuck in bitchland regardless of what's going on around me, or maybe it's because some variation of this exchange happens every time I take Caitlyn over there, but I am really, really, really pissed off! Am I overreacting here? I feel like BS does not like Caitlyn and always has something bad to say about her whenever I take her over there. I know Caitlyn is not the perfect child, but she is a sweet and loving little girl (and she 100% adores her little sister!) and it really, really bothers me to have BS say not so nice things about her every single time I take her over there. Especially since I don't really see anytign wrong with Caitlyn's behavior. She's a normal 8-year old, sometimes she says dumb things, sometimes she's a little selfsh and would rather play with a toy herself than give it to her sister (who doesn't understand sharing yet and almost always gets her way since she's the baby), but that doesn't make her a bad kid and she doesn't deserve to feel like she's always doing the wrong thing or that she's going to get in trouble every time she has to go to BS's. Grrrr...
Okay, so after all that, my true dilemma is that I'm not sure how to deal with this situation. On the one hand, I don't want Caitlyn to get the impression that I don't believe BS or give credence to her complaints because I want Caitlyn to respect all adults, and I certainly don't want her to think that she can start getting away with anyting just because she doesn't get punished based on the report I get from BS. On the other hand, I don't even want to take Caitlyn over to BS's any more because I feel like it's a toxic environment for her. And on the third hand (I totally just made that expression up), I can't afford to hire another babysitter and I love how BS takes care of Jocelyn. So I'm stuck in a serious, um, dilemma if you will (like how I tied it all back to the title of my post--I am so freaking clever!). How do I handle this situation? Do I continue to ignore BS when she says things to try and get Caitlyn in trouble or do I fork out the cash I don't really have to find another sitter for Caitlyn during those times she needs it in order to avoid the situation altogther? Is there another solution I am missing? Have I completely lost my mind to end-of-pregnancy bitchdom? Tune in for next week's post: why public bathrooms piss me off.
Monday, April 09, 2007
Anyways, here's a run down of our Easter:
It was a little wet here (its been like 80 degrees for the last two weeks and suddenly it drops into the 60s and gets foggy for the holidays, go figure), so we did our egg hunt inside. Jocelyn had an enormous meltdown just as we were starting the egg hunt, so I tried to distract her by showing her how to open the eggs and get the candy. BIG mistake! She proceeded to open half of Caitlyn's eggs and shove as many jelly beans as she could get into her mouth at one time. Then, when I tried to pry them out, she started screaming and dribbled all the half eaten jellybeans onto my white carpet. Note to self: holiday festivities should always be planned as post-naptime activities regardless of how early in the morning it is. Also, 1 1/2 year olds are really too young for Easter egg hunts no matter how cute it may seem to you as a parent. *sigh* On the other hand, Caitlyn was thrilled because I decided Jocelyn was too young to eat any of her candy, so she got double! Best Easter Ever, Mom! ;)
Dad arrived at about 1pm, his flight was delayed a bit, and I made a traditional Seder feast of chicken fricasse, asparagus, and buttered noodles (um, okay, so maybe it wasn't very traditional after all), which was silly since we were celebrating Easter. But, it was either that or lasagna, so no one complained! :) Dad "whipped" us up some deviled eggs (I am unable to stand the smell of eggs and refuse to make them in any form, so Tim was overjoyed that he was finally able to get some), which were a big hit. Jocelyn ate almost three whole eggs and was begging for more when I finally cut her off! I also made a really fab-u chocolate mousse, which was awesome because it is made totally in the blender and took all of about 5 minutes to prepare. I was very impressed. Oh, and I got to watch Banned from the Bible II (the only time I get to watch the history channel is when one of my parents is here and we out-vote Tim ;) All in all, it was a pretty low-key day with good food and good company. I'll post some pics of the girls once I get them downloaded from the camera and I find one where Jocelyn is not either: A. crying, B. shoveling jellybeans into her mouth, or C. Not looking anywhere even close to the camera so that all you can see is the side of her head. Hope you all had a good bunny day!
Saturday, April 07, 2007
"Are you in the Army?"
"Have you ever driven a plane?"
"Have you ever killed anyone?"
"Do you get to carry a gun?"
"Do you get scared at your work?"
It was pretty funny, cute, and a little disturbing at the same time (one little boy asked me, "Isn't there a war going on?" and a lot of the kids seemed confused by this. I guess their parents don't talk to them about it at home very much.)
Anyway, Caitlyn got back and did her presentation (I think I was more of a hinderance than a help, since she got stage fright and didn't want to do it in front of me), and it was really cute. The best part is when the kids left for recess, and I overheard one of the little boys in her class tell her that her mom was cool. Yeah, that's right. I am a cool mom. Okay, so its mostly the uniform, but I'll take what I can get!