October is National Book Month

IMPORTANT: This is a ranting post. If you get nothing else out of this post, please read “Lies My Teacher Told Me.” We now return to your regularly scheduled post…

As many of you know, I am a total history buff. In college, I specialized in Asian history (mainly China and its neighbors), but I have branched into European history in the last few years. Recently I discovered an excellent book I think all American citizens should be required to read, “Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong” by James W. Loewen. I admit that despite my absolute obsession with history, I never paid much attention to American history because I felt I already had a substantial knowledge of it, at least enough to fortify my own opinions on our cultural and social values. Boy was I wrong! Whether your agree with many of the conclusions the book draws or not, it is certainly an eye opener. As a student of Chinese language, culture, and history, and after having lived in Japan for several years, one of my biggest pet peeves was the lack of Japanese acceptance for the atrocities committed during World War II. Their history books have been whitewashed (for lack of a better term) to either minimize, distort, or completely cover up the abominable acts carried out throughout China, Korea, and most of Southeast Asia during the years of Japanese occupation. Yet we are no better than the Japanese when it comes to “ethnocentric cheerleading” vs. presenting all factors and allowing students to draw their own conclusions. And this isn’t just a matter of foreign policy. It has become popular in the years since 9/11 to concentrate on understanding American history vis a vis the Middle East in a desperate attempt to understand where all this hostility comes from, yet we don’t even understand the very basic nature of the development of our country and how this revisionist history we now teach in the classroom has come about. You can’t look back 30 or even 50 years and say, Oh, that’s why this happened. History is far more complex then that, and we are doing ourselves a horrible disservice by continuing this legacy of ambivalence towards understanding our own history.

Books like this can be very difficult to read with an open mind. It is hard to confront the idea that people we’ve been brought up to see as heroes are actually human beings with real faults and detrimental attributes. No historical figure is without fault. Indeed most heroes and idolized historical figures from around the world led very disingenuous lives. Many of my personal historical obsessions (i.e. Cixi, the last Empress of China or Eleanor of Aquitine--Alison Weir wrote a most excellent biography I would highly recommend--for example) were incredibly complex people who did some atrocious things in their lifetimes. This doesn’t make them people to revile, necessarily, but it is important to study the faults of our heroes as well as their attributes and to understand how their personal beliefs and values helped shape our nation and its current values and social viewpoints. Its even more important to start teaching this method of historical analysis at the lowest levels. I think the most important question should be how do we start structuring our children's education to reflect these values. I've got a second grader who's just starting to learn about history, so I'll keep you all posted as to how my attempts to have her get a balanced education turn out! Poor Caitlyn, she's always the guinea pig!

And One More For Us

In case you all didn't get my e-mail, we are expecting baby #3! Looks like it will be a May/June baby, so you al have plenty of time to buy me presents ;) I was talking with my girl Susanne this morning and talking about all things wonderful and baby (see post below), and I was thinking how perfect our timing was. Jocelyn is a year older than Christopher and this baby will be less than a year younger, so he'll have two lovely ladies to choose from! ;) (oh, come on, you know I'll never be allowed to have a boy. As my dad always says, god is determined that our confusing last name will die out!) :)

And Now My Friends Are Breeding, Too!

I started having children at a much younger age than my friends and siblings, so I was overjoyed when my sister had her first baby last year. And now my friends are breeding, too! My dear, dear friend Susanne and her lucky husband Greg had their first son, Christopher, on Oct 6 at 6:30am. So, Congratulations J family!! You have many, many wonderful years ahead and may you have the wisdom to reflect on that during your (what seems like many, many years of) sleepless nights. ;)

They never shoud have allowed me to have one of these things

Okay, okay, I know I haven't posted in a while, but I have a good excuse. A really good excuse. A really good one that I can't think of right now, but I swear it's pretty good. Ask Laura. Anyway, no we've just been really busy with the kids and all. Caitlyn is back in school and doing very well. She is the best reader in her class, and her teacher spoke very highly of her at back to school night. She has also started soccer; she plays midfielder. Although this is her first season playing, Caitlyn seems to have had no touble picking it up and she was doing so well at her game last week, controlling the ball and passing it up to the forwards. I was so proud! :) Jocelyn is not only walking, but she's running a little bit, too! (not very far, tho, just a couple of steps before she falls flat on her face but it is sooo cute!) I'll attach some picture for you all to peruse, and I promise I'll write more sooner rather then later!

A Year of Me

Ha ha, no I won't force you all to look at pictures of me over the last year. My birthday is actully tomorrow, but since we have plans all day, I thought I would post now. Tim got tickets for us to see Dirty Rotten Sccoundrals at a downtown Hollywood theater (he wouldn't tell me which one) and then we are going to a famous, fancy restaurant for dinner, all sans children!! Can you tell I am excited!! I haven't been to the theater since Laura and I saw the Producers way back in college, and I was totally shocked that Tim would agree to go to the theater at all with me, much less actually buy the tickets and surprise me. Plus I get a Cold Stone ice cream cake (mmmm ice cream)! But the best gift came last night when Jocelyn took her very first steps!! It was close to bedtime, so she was not thrilled with the fact that we kept trying to get her to do it again and again, but she most definately took a few steps on her own. She is really becoming a little toddler now...wah! now I want another baby :(

A Year of Jocelyn

It's Like A Heat Wave Yeah! Yeah!

It is so freaking hot, I can't even find the words the describe it. Oh sure, I know what you all are thinking, I like in gorgeous, sunny Southern California and I should just shut up and be happy about it. Well, I'll have you know that we are going through serious record breaking tempertatures combined with unusual humidity levels. We also don't have air conditioning (nor do I have it in my car) since we live right by the beach, which would lead one to think we might get a freakin breeze every once in a while!!! I just can't take these extreme temps. They make me very cranky. Especially since I have to walk a 1/2 mile to my car from work (since there is no parking for military folks on Los Angeles AIR FORCE BASE - I hope that makes as much sense to you as it does to me) then drive home in a sweltering car with no a/c as sweat pours down body collecting in a lovely pool of disgustingness in my BDU pants. It is quite the unpleasant experience to remove my combat boots when I get home, trust me! Now, I am of the firm belief that sweating is a disgusting, icky and smelly habit reserved only for fat old men and the gym, so it unfortunate that I happen to sweat very easily. Thus I end each day in a foul temper as (after 3-4 cold showers), I lay awake in bed wiping the sweat from my forehead and pray to sleep just so I won't feel hot. How I long for June gloom!!

Better Then the Beach...at least for the parents ;)

Poop Party or How I Know I Love My Children

So, this morning I go into Jocelyn's room to wake her as usual, and I notice a highly unpleasant smell emanating from her playpen (which is where she sleeps since the movers broke her crib). Now a baby's room never smells that great after a long night of defacating in their pants; howeve, today's smell was a little stronger than usual. Of course, Jocelyn wants to be picked up immediately, and I, in my sleepy stupor, bend down and pick her right up without noticing anything out of the ordinary. I quickly realize that something is terribly wrong. It seems that somehow during the night, Jocelyn hs managed to get her diaper off and all tha lovely defacating she normally does in there is now all over the playpen, her blankets, her body, and now mine.

So, I do what any loving mommy would do when she notices her baby is covered in sh*t, I totally freak out. Of course, today is the day that Tim went to pick up Tommy and Vanessa, so I have no other adult to assist me despite the factthat I now have baby poop on my face and in my hair. I can't put Jocelyn down on the floor b/c we would get sh*t on the carpet; I can't put her bckin the playpen b/c it has sh*t smeared all over the inside, and I can't put her in the bathtub b/c I can't leave her alone in there while I clean up. So I have to carry her around with me while I get more and more sh*t wiped over various other parts of my body while I clean up the rest of the room. Then I have to give her a bath, clean the remaining sh*t out of tub, scrape the sh*t off the blankets, put those and the towels in the wash, carefully inspect the carpet in her room for any signs of sh*t, and hose out the playpen all while I continue to have SH*T IN MY HAIR!!! Ahem, sorry about that.

After all that is done (and I spray Lysol air fresher everywhere and vacuum the carpet with carpet freshner), I notice how cute Jocelyn looks in her new little outfit. That's right, despite having a complete poop party this morning, those mommy instincts do not allow you to get mad at your kids, but instead notice how really cute they are when they are learning to stand without assistance. Damn those mommy genes!

Craigslist is the New Ebay

Okay, so all of you who know me well know about my Ebay obsession. Since I was sans 'puter for so long, I kind of broke myself of the habit (lack of extra $ helps, too ;) Just in time to take its place, I stumbled onto a site called craigslist.org which connects people through want ads in various cities. Since we live in one of the biggest cities in the US, craigslist for LA rocks!! (Be sure not to accidentally type in craiglist instead of craigslist or you will be in for a surprise :) ) We found a full bed for our guest room/kids room and are looking for a dining room table we can agree on. We're also planning to sell our old couch and bed rather then having to hold a garage sale. Ebay is still the best for things like clothes, DVDs, etc., but craigslist is better for furniture and it also has ads for anything from Chinese lessons ($20/hr!!) to Russian Blue kittens to "special" massages. The best part is that you can't get out-bid at the last second like I always do on Ebay!! :(

http://anotherfloating-blog.blogspot.com/

Yeah, Tim!

Weight Observations

Why is it that no matter how much weight I lose, I still think I look exactly the same? I had my pt test (my run test for you non-mil types) recently and you have to weigh in. I weighed in at 113lb. I haven't weight 113lb since I was a high school anorexic!! Yet, when I look in the mirror, all I see is my poochy tummy, flabby butt, and thunder thighs. Am I totally messed up in the head or is this something that all women go through? It's so frustrating because I will tell myself, if I just lost 5 more lb I would be happy, but then I lose it and I'm still not happy. What is wrong with me!!??

I Wuv My Dishwasher

Can I just say that the biggest luxury I missed while being in Japan was having a dishwasher. I got so used to washing everything by hand for the last few years that it took me a while to get used to using it again, but now that I am...Damn do I love that dishwasher! Caitlyn can even load it and unload it, so I don't have to do anything but drop in the dishwashing liquid and press go. Life is good!

Of course, I really miss my bathtub, so I guess everything balances out in the end.

WC Update

Goooo England! We root for them not because Becks is such a great player, but b/c my hubby thinks Posh is a hottie :) We are the worst soccer fans ever. (and if you don't know who Posh and Becks are, shame on you for not reading People magazine!)

Our House...In the Middle of Our Street

I took so long to post my other blogs that Tim took the pics of the house for me. So, enjoy! :)

Toothless Wonder

Caitlyn's front permanent tooth had been growing in front of her baby tooth, so we took her to the dentist as soon as we arrived in LA. The dentist decided he needed to "wiggle out" her two front teeth (the 2nd one was ready to come in as well). Caitlyn was nervous at first, but after they gave her the laughing gas (that's nitrious oxide to those of you who have never had your wisdom teeth out), she was just fine ;) In fact, she asked me if we could go back again! :) Anywho, here's the cutest pics of the tootheless wonder.

It's Aliiiiive

Yes, it's true, we are still here. Sorry for the lengthy period of absence but it couldn't be helped. We were literally living out of a suitcase for the last three months. (and, yes, it does suck as much as you think it does). But, we are finally living in our new home and are sttling in nicely. We actually have a bit of room to move around, and I have some space in my kitchen, which I have been using religiously since we moved in. I will post pics of the house as soon as I get off my lazy ass and take some :) In the meanwhile, here are some pictures from our trip to Albuquerque to visit the parentals.

Off We Go

Okay, well the movers are here, so I guess this is it. Next time I talk to you all we will be in the States permanently! Love to all, we'll see you soon!!!

Mamamamama

Jocelyn said her first word! Well actually, it's not really a word so much as a long string of sounds generally followed by a resounding thbppt, which is her new favorite thing to do while I am trying to feed her. And, while it is extremely cute and I am very proud, I am also getting tired of the formula showers. I must caveat this by saying that not everyone agrees that this is Jocelyn's first word.

Me: Jocelyn said her first word!
Jocelyn: Mamamamama. Thbppppt!!
Tim: That's not a word.
Me: Is so.
Tim: That's just a bunch of sounds strung together. She doesn't know that mama means you.
Me: Does too.
Tim: Well, if mamamama means you, then I must be aiiiooouuuiieee. So she said my name first.
Jocelyn: Thbppppppt!!


Another exciting, albeit somewhat scary thing, happened to us today. We were standing in line at the BX and I was talking to one of the ladies know from Caitlyn's school, when Caitlyn said there was a bug on Jocelyn's stroller. I looked but there was nothing there, so I blew it off as being a fly or something that had flown away and continued my conversation. Suddenly Caitlyn tugged on my sleeve and pointed to Jocelyn's stroller. There was this HUGE ASS SPIDER crawling right next to her head. I about shit myself it was so damn big. Somehow you fly into "Mommy Mode" at crises like these, thank god, since I would never in my life touch a spider like that otherwise. I just reached in and squashed it with my bare hand and flung it to the floor. Afterward I freaked out a little and checked Jocelyn all over for spider bites, but she was fine. I just can't imagine where a spider that big came from or how it got into her stroller. Thank god Caitlyn was paying attention and noticed it. Ick! I still get the creeps thinking about it!

Wah!

Tim left for Texas today :( So, I am all alone with the munchkins for almost a month until we leave for Buffalo. I wasn't really worried or upset until he actually stepped on the plane, and then I started to cry a little :( I know we're only going to be apart for a month, but it's the longest we've ever been apart and I miss him already!

I have so much to take care of for our upcoming move. I can't believe it is here already. It seems like just the other day I was freaking out over trying to get orders and now it's time to leave! This was a very hard day for Tim, too. He's lived in Japan for over 5 years now, and going back to the States seems like going to a foreign country to him. Misawa has been his home for so long, and, even though we're totally thrilled to be back in the same country as most of you, it's hard to leave a place that you know like the back of your hand. Especially because I don't know if we'll ever make it back here. We'll most liekly come back to Japan in the future on vacation (esp. since Jocelyn and Vanessa were both born here), but I don't now if we'll be able to come all the way back up to Misawa. I have to admit, I'm not really all that sad. I enjoyed Japan, it's a beautiful country with beautiful people, but I am so excited to be coming home. It makes me feel kind of bad that I'm so happy about leaving, but please remember that I spent four years in Hawaii, too, so I have been away from family for a good deal of my adult life.

Okay, now I'm just rambling. The whole point of this post was supposed to be that I miss my husband and I'm sad we're going to be apart for so long. I hope this month goes by quickly because I can't wait to see you all on our vacation!!

Weddings, Pho, and Hai

I know I haven't blogged in forever, but 've been so busy what with getting ready for the big move (Tim leaves on Wednesday, wah!!!). I also just got back from the most whirlwind trip I've ever made. My girl Susanne got married last weekend and I was one of the bridesmaids, so I few all the way from Misawa (with Jocelyn, mind you) to Tacoma Washington for three days to be a part of the wedding (cause she's worth it!). The weird thing is that Jocelyn was a perfect angel for the entire trip (which was actually a total of 6 days - 3 for travel and 3 there) and became a perfect monster as soon as we got back! I think she's still getting used to having her schedule all f'ed up for so long (we are the complete opposite timewise of the States, so when it's day there it's night here and vice versa, so our bodies were very confused for the whole trip since we didn't have time to adjust to anything). The wedding, however, was absolutely gorgeous. (The photographer said pictures would be ready on his website in 6 to 8 weeks, so you're gong to have to wait for me to post pics because the only thing I did forget to bring was my camera!). They had a Catholic ceremony, which actually took me by surprise since Susanne was not raised Catholic and I hadn't realized that Greg's family was Catholic, which I was really surprised to find that I thoroughly enjoyed. It was only about a half hour and it was really touching. The parents also gave a blessing which was particularly moving (that and when Susanne came down the aisle with her dad trying not to cry were the only times I was in real danger of making the ugly cry). The reception was just perfect, too. The food was fantastic, the quartet was a reall lovely touch, and everyone had so much fun. Even though I had Jocelyn with me the whole time I really didn't feel like I missed out on anything. Even though it was very difficult to travel alone with an infant (I had Jocelyn in her Baby Bjorn on the front, my backpack on my back, her car seat in one hand, and my luggage in the other - not fun!!), I got to see my two best friends that I hadn't seen in two or three years and reconnect with them and to be a part of one of the most meaningful moment's in Susanne's life. Plus I got to eat Pho!! It was totally worth it :)

Oh, one little funny anecdote about how living in Japan is turning me into a total racist. When we went out to pho, after I gave the waitress my order, she repeated it back to me and I replied with a resounding "hai" (which is pretty much the only Japanese I really know). The waitress gave me the dirtiest look, as if she were saying, "I'm Vietnamese not Japanese, you little cracker bitch!" I was so mortified you'd think I would remember that I was in the US where no one speaks Japanese. Not so. Not then ten seconds later, I did it again! To the same lady! And then I did it again when I bought some shoes from a Korean lady! Laura and Susanne found the whole thing very amusing, but I am very trepiditious about going to LA now. I'm going to have to carry around a little disclaimer stating that I lived in Japan for a long time and I am fully aware that not all Asians are Japanese, please forgive the round eye :)

We Got Orders!

Hooray! We finally got our orders (I've only been calling down to MPF every day for the last two weeks, but at least we've got them!). Now we can actually start making arrangements to leave Japan and get a move on :) I'm going to Seattle this weekend for my girl Susanne's wedding (me & Jocelyn on a 16hr odyssey, should be interesting!) then we'll have about a week after I get back and Tim leaves for Texas (he's going to visit his kids and pick up our new Lincoln Navigator!!). We'll be apart for almost a month, wah! I'll have the girls here with me so Caitlyn can stay in school, then we'll join him in Buffalo on the 3rd of April. We've got another wedding to attend on the 8th of April, so we're going to make a quick trip to Colorado from Buffalo (just me & Tim, no kids!!!), and then get started on our long-ass drive from Buffalo to LA. We plan to make a quick stop in Chicago to see my sis and her fam (we just missed Lexi, who is now an ex-pat herself since she just moved to Amsterdam) and then we'll stay a few days with my parents in Abluquerque before finally winding up in LA. I probably won't post much during this time since we're going to be so busy with the move and then in transit for so long, but, rest assured, we love you all and are excited to be coming back to the same continent where our lved ones are located!

I got plastic surgery to look like a monkey because thats how I do

?? Don't ask why ??
Pick the month that you were born in....
1----I fell in love with
2----I choked on
3----Today i murdered
4----I dance with
5----I had sex with
6----I glued myself to
7----I slipped on
8----I got plastic surgery to look like
9----I had a fight with
10----I ate a
11---I threw shit at
12---I slapped
Pick the day (number) you were born on
1-3-------A Homeless guy
4-6-------A hot dog
7-9-------Paris Hilton
10-12----A pickle because
13-14-----This bomb ass girl
15-18---A gangstar
19-24---- A monkey
25-27----This guy
28-31----A condom
pick the color of shirt you are wearing
White----Because my psychiatrist said to
Black----Because I was high
Pink-----Because Im dying tomorrow
Red-----Because i have Aids
Blue----Because i'm horny
Green----because i hate myself
Purple----because thats how i do
no Shirt-----Because i was drunk
Other-----because thats how i do

A Winter Wonderland

It has snowed an average of 8-12 inches a day
since the beginning of February, not fun!!

It's stomach ache, not stomachache!

Taking Over Lisa's Blog

Well, Lisa asked me to post some more recent pictures up on her blog for her today. Of course, I could not pass up this opportunity without saying something! Now, I can tell you something hilarious that happens within our family on a daily basis, or I can use this time wisely!! Usually I will catch Lisa typing an e-mail or complaining on the phone to somebody about her "diet" and how I play such a major role in disrupting it by bringing junk food into the house and usually eating it directly in front of her (umm these chips are just awesome, by the way feel free to bring flowers to my funeral because she is going to kill me for this!) During these conversations, Lisa constantly blames me for only losing 3 pounds a week versus 5 pounds a week, (all your fault Tim) I just wanted to set the record straight. That guy who looks well in shape with a six-pack is me before our relationship began, the stubby guy holding his child up with his stomach is also me, so now you see for yourselves, the before and the after. I personally feel that both of us are in excellent shape, Lisa just having a baby looks fantastic, as we both workout 5 days a week, including Caitlyn! But just whenever Lisa is about to tell you how Tim is ruining her diet, say no more, you have the proof in these pictures that it certainly goes both ways. I love her more than anything in this world, even if she wants to blame me for making her get off the couch, go into the kitchen and grab a cookie! How could one force somebody to do all that!!?? Now, I may strategically bring them into the house but geesh, Lisa, I would never!

Also, next time, if I ever have this opportunity again, (I think not) I will share with you how Lisa earned the nickname "the cookie monster".
If I am not dead!!
Take care and enjoy the pics!!

Try This

DO YOU HAVE THE HANDS OF A BRAIN SURGEON OR DO YOU WRITE WITH CRAYONS? I TRIED THIS 5 TIMES AND COULDN'T GET PAST LEVEL 3. I CHEATED AND USED BOTH HANDS ON LEVEL 3. I JUST COULD NOT MAKE IT TO LEVEL 4. I DON'T THINK IT'S POSSIBLE ! TRY IT . IF YOU MAKE IT TO 4 LET ME KNOW. Sound Effects or having some type of volume will help you on level 3 and 4. Good Luck--->http://www.winterrowd.com/maze.swf

You Know You're From LA When...

You're driving on the 101 and see a clear cut definition of where the smog begins and ends

You go to a karaoke bar and battle with seven year old divas-in-training who are trying to steal your thunder

You're sitting in traffic for at least an hour at any given part of the day

You go to the beach and see that real lifeguards actually do look like the lifeguards from Baywatch

You see purple and gold and the word "Threepeat" on every corner

You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there).

You eat a different ethnic food for every meal

You look around at the nice cars around you during traffic, thinking it'll be your favorite Laker or WB star.

You make a conscious choice to watch Jay Leno over David Letterman

You mourned for Tupac and not for Biggie

You know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes".

You know what neighborhood someone lives in by the degree of damage incurred during the riots.

You've inadvertently learned Spanish.

You've got to bring the cat/plants in when it drops to 55 degrees.

In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.

You've bumped into a celebrity at El Pollo Loco.

You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean.

Your pizza delivery guy is also on contract with Warner Bros.

If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.

You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.

Your TV show is interrupted by a police chase.

You can't fall asleep without the lull of a helicopter flying overhead.

When tourists ask where they can get souvenirs, you direct them to Venice Beach.

You know someone named Freedom, Rainbow, Persephone or Destiny.

You've trespassed through private property to get to the "Hollywood" sign.

You've partied in Tijuana at least once.

You know Hollywood has a "lake".

You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.

You've lost your car in the Century City Shopping Center parking lot.

You've ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.

You think that Venice is a beach.

You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.

You've started crossing a street and returned to the curb when the DON'T WALK sign started flashing.
You've never listened to NPR.

Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.

You have a favorite Thai restaurant.

You think Johnnny Rocket's is an accurate depiction of a diner.

You think Manhattan is a beach.

You eat pineapple on pizza.

You've been to Disneyland more times than Downtown.

When giving directions , you follow up with the phrase: "With/Without traffic."

You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "310."

Driving along, you see a high-speed police chase approaching in your rear view mirror. You don't panic or even flinch. Instead, you call your friends on your car phone and tell them you're on TV.

You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.

Your cell phone has left a permanant impression on the side of your head.

You never, ever go into the water at the Beach. You barely touch the sand.

Everyone you know has 3+ phone numbers. Home, Office, mobile, pager, two-way, voicemail.....

It is not unusual for your waitress at a restaurant to have blue streaked hair, a dragon tattoo and tounge piercing.

You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. Your reply: "That ain't even a 5-pointer" and go back to sleep.

You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It don't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.

You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.

Walking out of Jamba Juice, you see that a movie is being shot on-location across the street. You are not happy, or even slightly exited that there may be a movie star there. You just say, " They f*ckin better not be blocking my parking space."

You have to yell at your bank teller through a 2 inch thick wall of plexi-glass. That last one goes for your local convienience store man, too.

You go to Las Vegas for a weekend getaway and the whole trip cost you $50.

You personally know at least 5 people with agents.

You personally know at least 3 people who have been in a movie or TV show.

You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.

You know that not everyone in Beverly Hills is a millionaire.

You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.

You've done something on a street corner in an attempt to get money (i.e. sang, tap danced, told jokes).

You've gotten parking tickets from parking in the red zone in front of your house.

You say you live in LA when really you live in a subsection of a subsection of a subsection of southern LA.

Any major movie star is picking out the best portobello mushrooms next to you at the grocers and you don't notice.

The guy at 8:30 in the morning at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.

You really can never be too rich or too thin.

The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.

The workday starts at 10am...or whenever you get out of your therapy session.

Any invitation comes with, "Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic."

You have never met a waiter that wasn't really an "Actor."

You never go to a coffee house without a copy of a script - any script.

It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH '99"

You call 911 and they put you on hold.

You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:30 tae-bo class.

The three hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe lying on the shoulder.

And the Winner Is...

Sorry I didn't post this sooner. It looks like sun and sand is definately in our future. I got word a couple of days ago that we are for sure going to LA. Of course, that's what I heard about DC, so I'll take it with a grain of salt until I have orders in hand. Hopefully those won't be too far off since we are leaving really soon!!

Assignment Woes

Okay, so I evidently I lied in my end of the year letter. I got news the other day that we are now definately NOT going to DC. Evidently AFPC gave my assignment to someone else when I was still on the chopping block for Force Shaping. Now, of course, I'm left with the dregs of the assignment list since nearly everything from my cycle has been filled. My CC is trying to work a couple of things for me, so, at this point, it looks like we may end up at Los Angeles AFB or Wright Patt (in Ohio). I'm not holding my breath, though. I checked out the "must fill" list and most of the assignments aren't too bad (they can't keep my overseas for another assignment without my express agreement so we are definately coming back to the States). The only one I would be really disappointed with is probably Hill (which is in nowhere Utah), but all the others would be acceptable. Ft Meade is even on there, so we could conceivably end up in Maryland anyway (although that is somewhat unlikely since it is another SIGINT assignment and the AF wants to "broaden" our career knowledge so they don't like to send you to a similar type of job). At any rate, I'll be sure to post when I hear anything. It is just very disappointing since all I'd been hearing up to this point was that my assignment was a 99% for sure thing and we were just waiting to hear back the confirmation from AFPC. And, of course, we really wanted to go to Maryland since we planed to buy a house there. We'll be alright no matter where we end up, together and happy to be in the same country as our loved ones, but it would be very nice to know where we're going since we leave in less than 3 months! :)