This is the Pregnancy that Never Ends...

OB is Back in Action

My old boss (OB) returned from her deployment to Tampa-stan a couple of weeks ago. As with BS, I should preface my bitching (**Warning: Bitching about to commence!**) by saying that OB has a good heart and means well. That doesn't make her any less annoying, but it does sort of temper the fact that I often feel extraordinarily violent towards her. She just has this overwhelming personality that can be very difficult to deal with. It is particularly difficult right now because OB is being forced out (she was passed over 2x for promotion and has hit her high year tenure) in a relatively short amount of time. She is fighting this, but, honestly, with the AF trying to downsize as much as it is, she doesn't have much of a chance. I actually feel really bad for her. She's given some 20+ years of her life to the AF and they're giving her the heave ho without so much as a thanks for all the years of putting up with our crap; however, she had to be aware of the impending dates, so its not like this was just sprung on her without warning, and she can easily get a civilian job with all of her qualifications (so its not like she's going to be out on the streets). Anyways, to make a long story short, she has returned for a relatively short period of time, so our CC had instructed us that she was not going to take over her old job as our OIC (officer in charge) since it doesn't make sense for us to turn the office back over to her for such a short period of time (we're talking weeks here, she'll be long gone by the time I return from maternity leave). Weeeel, this would be all well and good, but somehow he either neglected to tell her about this (I doubt it) or she just doesn't know how to let go b/c these last couple of days have been a lot of tap dancing and deflection on my part. I'm a few ranks under her so it is not kosher to say things like, "Um, I thought you weren't in charge any more."

Actually, the work stuff is not so bad since I'm mostly passed it off to other people, so I just sic her on them (hee hee, I'm so evil). It's the personal stuff that gets me. I should mention that OB also studied to be a dr (20 some years ago!), and she has two kids of her own so she thinks she knows everything and feels compelled to continually share all her "motherly" advice with me. I have so little patience at this point that I am seriously beginning to think I should buy myself a muzzle because I have come uncomfortably close to telling her to just leave me the fuck alone! Today was particularly funny to me. I am on half days now, so I left work early and got a call from her on my cell phone. Thinking it might be, you know, work related, I foolishly answered it. I then spent 25 minutes (25 minutes!) getting a 100 Days of Summer safety briefing (an annual occurance for us military folks, the gov't likes to protect its property!) about boating safety and how I shouldn't drink and drive this holiday weekend. I actually laughed out loud at that one since I am, well, incredibly freakin pregnant and not likely to be drinking much alchohol in the first place, much less getting shit faced downtown and then getting behind the wheel. Then I had to endure another 20 minutes of her advice on breastfeeding, which is all very nice except that I breastfed my first two so, ya know, I'm not exactly in need of advice! Luckily I was at home and thus able to be on the computer perusing Ebay so I just let out a few "uh huhs" and "hmms" at the appropriate pauses and all was well in OB-land. Then, of course, she had to go and tell me about how she had fought for me to get an on-base parking pass (space is at a premium here, so we park at an off-base facility and get bussed in) since I am so preggo, which was really, really sweet and made me feel really bad for thinking evil thoughts (It also made me not want to tell her that I've been illegally parking on base anyway since I am too fat to be bothered with walking).

Adding Insult to Injury

So the Anaheim Ducks beat the Detroit Red Wings in the Western Conf Finals *sigh* I know this doesn't mean anything to you all, but, to us, it means that, if Buffalo had beaten Ottawa, we could have actually seen the Stanley Cup Finals live, person without having to do anything but drive to Anaheim. *sob*

Baby Update

So after three weeks of losing/no weight gain, my fat ass has managed to put on 6lb in a freakin week! I didn't even know that was physically possible. It may have been Baby making up for all this time of trying to scare me with his lack of weight gain (or it might be the fact that I mostly spend my afternoons sitting on my butt, eating cookies and watching Oprah), regardless, it made me feel like a big, fat whale. Also, despite my quiet (and pathetically desperate) begging, Dr refuses to induce early since Baby has been so small (and even though he now estimates Baby may be as big as 7 1/2lb at due date). He did go ahead and set up an induction date for me anyway, since I have a history of needing such things. So, if he doesn't come on his own, we are evicting him on the 5th of June. So, at least I have a date to look forward to now. It might not be as soon as I want, but its better than nothing!

J's Cry For Help

Every time Hubs is chasing/tossing/throwing J around she cries out to me, "Ahhh Meee," which, for a long time, I thought was just her trying to say Mommy. As she learned to enunciate more and more Ahh Mee has turned into "Hep Meeee, Hep MEE!." So it turns out that while I was correct in my assumption that J was trying to be rescued, she could really give a crap who was doing the rescuing!

Things Recently Heard at the House on Pu Corner

"Get that goat out of your nose! We do not put farm animals in any of our orifices!"

"Hey, I think my water broke! *pause* False alarm, I just peed myself."

"Sorry I didn't finish my homework, Mom. I was at a bee funeral."

The Power of Commercials

C: *spying an advertisement for latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie* Oooooh, Mommy, I loooove Capt Jack Sparrow.
Me: When did you ever see Pirates of the Caribbean?
C: What's that?