Dilemma

I feel I should preface this next post with some serious background info. My babysitter (let's call her BS, shall we) is an elderly woman. Old enough that she has children who are clearly old enough to be my parents (two of whom still live at home, which, I've come to learn, is not all that uncommon here in So Cal), and she is quite set in her ways and firm in her opinions. I am never right. If Jocelyn is constipated, it is not because she is eating too much dairy, as I proclaim after adjusting her diet and noticing a significant reduction in rabbit pellet diapers, it is because BS has been giving her more raisins. If I am extra pale, it is not because I haven't been tanning for the last 8 months of my pregnancy, it is because I am not getting enough water. Now, as annoying as this is, BS also has a lot of good attributes that sort of balance everything out. For one, she is cheap. No, I mean, really, really cheap. Average care in LA for a non-potty trained child will run you about $1000/mo. BS charges me $600/mo and she throws in free weekend sitting pretty much whenever I need/want it. Also, and more importantly, she looooves Jocelyn. I know that when I leave Jocelyn in her care that she is being as well tended to as I could give her myself, and I feel 100% confident that BS loves her like she loves her own children. And that counts for A LOT!

However, on occasion, I have to ask BS to watch Caitlyn for me as well. Caitlyn is obviously much older than the children BS usually has (they range from newborns to about pre-school age and come on different days and times, I think Jocelyn is actually the only full-time child she has on a daily basis), and, in my personal opinion, I don't think BS likes Caitlyn very much. This is highly unusual, as Caitlyn is a definate charmer with adults, and all of her teachers/coaches/rec leaders, etc. are always telling me how much they adore Caitlyn and love having her around. This week is Spring Break for the kiddos, so I asked BS to watch Caitlyn full-time for the week since it would have cost me $200 to have her go to the Parks and Rec camp (she goes to the Parks and Rec afterschool care, which is a reasonable $250/quarter), plus it is a lot easier on me to have the girls both in one place for pick ups and drop offs. So, yesterday I swing by BS's after work to pick up the girls. I innocently ask if the girls were well behaved only to get the "stern" look from BS...

BS: Well, Jocelyn was an angel, as usual. But, this one (pointing at Caitlyn, who is standing next to the door with her head down looking very sad)... She's a problem child.
Me: What happened?
BS: Well, so and so came by to tell me she has decided not to go back to work so she won't be needing my services any more. So Caitlyn then asks her why she came by at all.
*pause*
Me: And...
BS: And, that's it. It was so rude of her, and so and so was just stunned by it.
*pause*
Me: I'm not sure I'm getting this. What did Caitlyn say?
BS: She asked so and so why she came to the house.
*pause*
Me: And this was rude?
BS: This was very rude and you should really talk to her about it. She says rude things like that all the time and she needs to understand that you can't talk to adults like that.
*pause*
Me: Hmmm
BS: And, she is very mean to her sister.
Me: Hmmm

Now, Caitlyn is standing right next to us during this entire exchange! I am thinking to myself that this is a serious overreaction on BS's part since kids say dumb things all the time and they certainly don't mean anything rude by it, and clearly BS is getting that impression because she then shoots this look to her daughter (a total mini-BS who is also a nurse and therefore thinks she can diagnose me every time I happen to see her) as if to say "See, I told you she wouldn't do anything about it." Then BS rolled her eyes (rolled her eyes!!!) and threw her hands up in the air.

Me: Okay, girls, it's time to go.

So I did manage to get out of there without strangling her, which I was very, very proud of. Maybe it's because I am 8 mos preggo and I am stuck in bitchland regardless of what's going on around me, or maybe it's because some variation of this exchange happens every time I take Caitlyn over there, but I am really, really, really pissed off! Am I overreacting here? I feel like BS does not like Caitlyn and always has something bad to say about her whenever I take her over there. I know Caitlyn is not the perfect child, but she is a sweet and loving little girl (and she 100% adores her little sister!) and it really, really bothers me to have BS say not so nice things about her every single time I take her over there. Especially since I don't really see anytign wrong with Caitlyn's behavior. She's a normal 8-year old, sometimes she says dumb things, sometimes she's a little selfsh and would rather play with a toy herself than give it to her sister (who doesn't understand sharing yet and almost always gets her way since she's the baby), but that doesn't make her a bad kid and she doesn't deserve to feel like she's always doing the wrong thing or that she's going to get in trouble every time she has to go to BS's. Grrrr...

Okay, so after all that, my true dilemma is that I'm not sure how to deal with this situation. On the one hand, I don't want Caitlyn to get the impression that I don't believe BS or give credence to her complaints because I want Caitlyn to respect all adults, and I certainly don't want her to think that she can start getting away with anyting just because she doesn't get punished based on the report I get from BS. On the other hand, I don't even want to take Caitlyn over to BS's any more because I feel like it's a toxic environment for her. And on the third hand (I totally just made that expression up), I can't afford to hire another babysitter and I love how BS takes care of Jocelyn. So I'm stuck in a serious, um, dilemma if you will (like how I tied it all back to the title of my post--I am so freaking clever!). How do I handle this situation? Do I continue to ignore BS when she says things to try and get Caitlyn in trouble or do I fork out the cash I don't really have to find another sitter for Caitlyn during those times she needs it in order to avoid the situation altogther? Is there another solution I am missing? Have I completely lost my mind to end-of-pregnancy bitchdom? Tune in for next week's post: why public bathrooms piss me off.