So, I have a number of ladies in my life that are or are about to become new parents, so I was thinking I should start writing more about parenting in general since I am so freaking awesome at it. You don’t think so? Well at least one of my kids has outlasted all of the others (that I know) – 12 years and no limbs lost - so, I win! Considering I get most of my parenting wisdom from here, here, and old episodes of Arrested Development, I think I am more than qualified to be doling out advice so here it goes. Kids are annoying. Yes, even yours. And even when you are the BEST PARENT IN THE WORLD your child will sometimes develop annoying or embarrassing characteristics. Take, for example, my youngest. Try as I might to deny it, it has become increasingly apparent that he is a One-Upper. He just can’t help himself. I’ve tried to teach him not to do it. I tried telling him it just makes him look like an asshole, but he just thinks that it’s funny that I said asshole. Case in point:
J: Mommy, I cut my finger in school today.
A: My too! My cut my finger, too!
J: It bled and my teacher had to put a bandaid on it.
A: My too! My too! My fin-er bed and put TWO bandaid on! No free! Free bandaid!
J: Look the bandaid is still on my finger.
A: Look my fin-er all gone.
Me: Um, you’re holding up your finger.
A: Dis fin-er not real.
Yesterday's conversation:
J: Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommmmy, mommyyyyy!
Me: What??!!
J: Tomorrow I’m going on a field trip!
A: My too, my too! My go in fee tip amorrow!
J: Well, I’m going to see a puppet show, and then we’re going to eat pizza!
A: My too. I go see poopin show and eee pizza, and then go to zoo and Disney and eveywer. My see bears and lions that poop on your face (because everything ends in pooping in someone’s face here at the Corner)
J: That’s gross
A: Dat awesome!
2 comments:
Of all the traits yours have, I don't remember that being one of the ones you and your sisters had. Must have come from Tim.
LOL - I can't help but laugh at the way it ends always with poo.
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