Thanks to everyone who replied to my post below. I think RM, especially, brings up some excellent points. My personal reasons for wanting to go to grad achool is to really learn about a subject that is very interesting to me. I am looking at Chinese or East Asian studies programs exclusively. I am not interested in a broad poli-sci or international relations program. My goal is to re-learn the language (my skills have drastically decreased since I have rarely used my Chinese since graduating from college) and to get a better understanding of Sino-American relations, especially within the last 10-15 years (in my BA program, I concentrated on the Qing dyasty and beyond but, really, I only studied Sino-American realtions as they related to politics). Attending a program like that accomplishes two things for me: it would allow me to spend time learning about a subject I find extremely interesting and it would help me to advance in my career field. My ideal program is through the Naval Post-Graduate School, which offers an education in exchange for service program (civil service, that is, I'm not talking about going back into the military). If accepted, I would receive free education, a small stipend (in addition to my GI Bill, though I would still be making less than 1/2 of what I make now), and I would be required to "pay back" the government by being automtically placed in government service (i.e. a guaranteed job).
Additionally, I have been feeling more and more dissatisfied with our current situation as of late. I like my job because I find what I do in general to be interesting; however, there is absolutely zero opportunity for advancement (not what I was told when I took the job), we contractors have very little say in what direction our project ends up going (as evidenced by the last project I was bitching about) or how to utilize our talens, there is no training to advance your skills as an analyst (the gov't guys can take all the training classes/conferences/events they want so long as there's $$, contractors are supposed to be "fully trained" - you figure out the difference), my boss sucks....he just sucks, there's no other way to put it. I always thought leaders were supposed to support their people and make sure they had the tools they need to succeed, in our case, to act as a conduit between the analysts and government expectations. Instead he trash talks us to make himself look better, makes snidely, inaccurate remarks about the work we've done, and (instead of bringing up issues beforehand) calls us out in front of the big gov't boss when we're presening our projects.
In addition to all of that, Hubs has had a very difficult time finding a worthwhile job out here. I say worthwhile because his field seems to pay nearly 50% less out here than it did in LA, while childcare costs are only about 25% less, so it ends up that he only takes home a very small amount after all the costs involved with getting him to work in the first place. He is now going to school full-time and working for his old company at home on a pay-per-placement basis, which will actually end up paying him more in the end (an dis more satisfying work for him), but we have to wait on $$ since he is not salaried. So, to make a very long story shorter, we are not making the kind of money we thought we would by making the move from LA to NM. In fact, I would venture to say with the loss we've taken in income combined with the current economic circumstances everyone is facing, we made a very poor decision in coming out here. Not that I don't absolutely adore my parents, and that has been the one bright spot in all of this, but watching my savings dwindle down to next to nothing with absolutely no safety net (thanks to the value to all my investments going in the toilet)...well, I'm thinking I would have been better off staying in the higher cost of living area where we made nearly 2x what we're making now.
I don't know. I realize the grass is always greener on the other side, but I also think we have to be realistic. I'm unhappy professionally and I would like to get back to the area which excites me most, and Hubs is also unhappy both professionally and personally as it is difficult to find and make friends when you work from home. I know that it would mean a severe change in lifestyle, but I think it would be worth it in the end. Besides, there's no guarantee I would even be accepted, so this may all be for nothing. I just feel like I'm not getting any younger, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life stuck doing things I don't really care for when there is the opportunity to continue doing what I love (don't we all feel that way???)
5 comments:
That's certainly a tough situation. Bosses are not guaranteed to be competent, regardless of industry. More than likely in fact, they will be incompetent....at least at times. I must admit that I too was incompetent at times, but think overall I was a good manager. It's tough to always be right.
You should do what you love though. As I've always told people, your life isn't a dress rehearsal. You have one shot. No do-overs.
So you better do what you enjoy!!!
awwww, shit! And here I was just getting all excited about being able to see you more due to proximity to mom and dad - 2 birds, 1 stone you know?
but if you hate it that's obviously a bad place to be. Does suck for C tho, she's moved so much in her life already.
It sounds like you're doing a lot of really good thinking. Identifying what you don't like about your current situation is an important step.
Something else I might suggest, which I did before I went to grad school: I found some physics professors, working at the kind of job I thought I'd like (at UNM, actually) and just called them up and asked if I could meet with them for a half on hour. I was surprised how willing people are to talk to you about their work if they see that you are really interested. That gave me the in-the-trenches info about what life would be like AFTER grad school, to see if that was going to give me what I wanted.
I tried to comment on your last post but my internet was acting up. So anyway, it sounds like you've already put a lot of thought into this and it seems like it's the path that you eventually want to take, but the question is timing right? Only you can say what's going to work best for your family, but my thoughts are that you and Tim won't really be able to feel satisfied until you're doing what you want to do. So it might take a couple of years of sacrifice to get to that point, but the sooner you get started the sooner you get there right? And if you feel like you're fulfilled and satisfied with your career you'll be happier in general, which can only be a good thing for your family :) It sounds like you guys are thinking of moving anyway so this might end up being a good time to start school. As far as whether you'll be able to do school and have kids at the same time all I can tell you is that when Boris was at NPS he tells me he had more free time than he ever did on regular active duty. So if this is what you want I think you should go for it :)
@AinA: I know, it really sucks about moving again. We're not talking about moving before sometime next fall or even after, but, as much as it's been great for the kids to be near the g-parents, we just are not doing well out here :(
@RM: Thanks for all your insight. I really appreciate getting tips from the trenches. If you or the hubs can think of anything else that I might have missed, I would love to hear it! :)
@Laura: I had totally forgotten that Boris went to NPS. I'll be back up in the Springs the 1st weekend of Nov, so we'll have to get together so I can pick his brain! ;) Seriously, tho, I know you're going through a similar soul-searching process, and it is so hard to figure out what the best path to take is!
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