My friend D wrote up a great description of language training at FSI, so I won't do a repeat here. I will say that language testing at FSI is one of the most painful and stressful experiences I have ever gone through. I think I likened my Chinese test to having my brain sucked through a straw (then spat out onto the table so that all of the native speakers could laugh at me). Well, this was worse.
The test lasted about three hours, although it really didn't feel like it at the time. The speaking portion seemed to fly by, which I was surprised about because that was the part I was most worried about. It wasn't until I got to the reading portion that things really started to go downhill. At some point in the reading I realized that there were some sections of text where I did not know even one single word, and I started to panic. I was already panicking about the time limitations since I am a slow Tagalog reader, but then I started thinking that I was such a fool for stressting snd preparing so much for the speaking and now here I was getting ready to fail the reading portion!
The tester and examiner really push you as far as you can possibly go to see how much you can get out of whatever it is you are reading/conversing about, so you always feel a little behind. I walked out of the test with absolute certainty that I had failed, and I spent the 20-30 min break (where they are discussing what they think your overall score should be) outside chain smoking, trying not to cry, and panicking about WTF I was going to do considering I had just spent the last week busting my ass to get my military orders issued in time to do my check out from State. Imagine my utter shock when I trudged slowly back into the room braced to hear the bad news, and they told me I had been given a score which far exceeded my wildest expectations. Hell, I was just hoping to pass! I was so surprised, I had to ask the examiner to repeat himself to make sure I had heard him correctly.
I have no idea how my perception of my own abilities and others' perceptions can be so divergent. I can only speculate that it is my extreme type A, perfectionist personality that causes these feelings of inadequecy sometimes. I was also convinced that I had failed the Chinese language phone test back when I was still on the road to become an FSO, which turned out not to be the case either. Maybe I'm just overestimating how well other people speak foreign languages? I don't seem to ever have a confidence problem when it comes to completing tasks in English (job interviews, giving speeches, etc.). I wonder what it is about language that so fucks with my head?
Anyway, now that that one last hurdle is over and done, we are on our way! I'm currently in FL trying to get all of my requirements current, which would be way easier if they hadn't cut off my e-mail since I've been gone so long! At least I have access to the system now, and I got a new id card, so I can start checking off items on my military to-do list. I have an IMA job lined up with PACOM, which is looking like a good choice considering I'll be in Asia for at least the next 5 years. Husband is back in VA with the kids while they finish out as much school as they can. He is handling the move almost single-handedly (we already went through the house and separated our shipments, and I'll be flying home this weekend to help with the final preparations, like actually packing suitcases), while I'm here taking care of my military stuff. It's great to be back in uniform and doin' my thang. I have never regretted leaving active duty (I did a short notice separation shortly after A's brith to avoid a 15-month deployment to Afghanistan, which I was notified of thanks to a wonderful, understanding boss and being part of a small, tight-knit unit), but it always makes me sad that I couldn't make that life/work balance happen in the military. The AF just asked too much of certain officers (people in my career field were heavily deployed - to the point that many of us were on a 12 month home/deployed cycle - while other career fields were never tapped to help shoulder the burden), and I couldn't sacrifice that much time with my family. But, sometimes, I sure do miss it, and it's nice that I get to come back every once in a while and play that role again.
4 comments:
That test sounds grueling. Congratulations on doing so well!
Congratulations! I also checked out your friends blog on the language learning process. It was very interesting and helpful.
wow, way to go Pu! It's amazing what you have accomplished in all the walks of life you've chosen.
That is great news. Hope the next three weeks go smoothly.
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