Remembering

Living in VA has reminded me of my desire to never live or work in the DC area. Between the multiple natural disasters (including the last week of non-stop rain that caused flash floods and tornadoes), the incredibly rude people (perhaps we have just become accustomed to the friendliness of the South and Southwest?), and the ridiculous cost of living here, I am more determined than ever that we will spend the vast majority of our career overseas. However, there have been some incredible high points to living here. I blogged about experiencing 4th of July in our nation's capitol, and being here for the 10th anniversary of 9/11 is right up there with it. 

I was in the process of transitioning from active duty to ROTC when 9/11 happened. I had flown into Seattle on the 9th and was staying with my friend A while I apartment hunted and got registered for school. My ex and C were staying with relatives in Idaho and were supposed to fly in on the 11th. My friend A and I were at her friend's apartment when the news reported the 1st plane crash. I remember talking to my dad on the phone and trying to make some sense of what was happening, watching the fuzzy picture on this friend of a friend's small television on a disconcertingly beautiful fall day, but I don't have a whole lot of concrete memories of what I did for the rest of that day. I know the ex and C's flight was delayed since everything we grounded, and they didn't arrive until two days later. I know that I felt sick to my stomach that something like this could happen here, and I knew that nothing would ever be the same. I think if you asked any American where they were when the planes hit we would all have some rather distinct memory. They might be as vague as my memory of staring at strange pixelations on an old tv set, searching the channels for coverage that would help us make some sense of what was happening. It's not so much the memory of what I was doing that stands out to me as he memory of how I felt. I remember distinctly the sense of disbelief and dread when we learned of the attack on the Pentagon. To me, even more than the 2nd tower crash, that signified that this could not be interpreted as anything other than a serious violent attack on the U.S. 

It's hard to explain to people who joined the military or the intel field post-9/11 (as many did) the difference between what it was like before and after. It was not the same experience. When I joined the AF in the 90's most people came in to get their education (GI Bill), to escape a bad situation, or to learn a skill. We had a decent operational tempo (after all there were still tings like Kosovo, EP-3 crashes, stand-offs in the Taiwan Strait, etc. to worry about), but the difference was that feeling of security. I can't put into words the changes that I saw over the years, some were quite sudden and jarring and some were so gradual it's hard to say when  they changed at all. Of course, there are many things I expected to change that have never changed at all (thus my distaste for serving in Washington). All I can say is that to serve today is very different than it was to serve 10 years ago, and I am proud to have served my country in as many capacities as I have. I myself joined the military to go to college. I ended up loving active duty, oh how I needed the structure, and was awarded a scholarship to ROTC through the AECP program. I commissioned as an officer post-9/11 and rejoined a service changed by experience and by declaration of war. I also left active duty for the same reason some years later when the deployment tempo simply became too much for our family, and I was unwilling to leave three small children behind to go to Afghanistan for a year supplementing the Army. But, I can reflect upon how the wars were managed (or mis-managed in some cases) in another post. I would rather you take this time to read this article and reflect on how 9/11 affected your life. 

So to my foreign service colleagues, military counterparts, intel professionals, and our civilian equivalents: Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Americans feel safe again because they have no idea what you do on a daily basis to keep them safe.