Perils in Parenting - School Version

Everyone is heading back to school next week, and it has been a pain in the ass trying to get everything ready. Since C attended private school last year, she had to take placement tests for English (reading and writing) and Math. To her great disappointment my Francophile daughter will have to endure yet another year of Spanish (what they taught at her last school) since they only offer year 2 of French for 7th graders. I did, however, attempt to ease the sting by agreeing she could take chorus instead of band this year. I think 3 years of flute is torture enough. Because we had to wait for the results of C's placement tests we weren't sure what school supplies to buy. Now that we have them, I have to head back out and brave the crowds and empty aisles trying to track down the last few items she will need for the year. I am a bit worried about how she is going to deal with going from a very small school environment to one that is not only large (there are more kids in her grade than there were in her entire school last year) but also significantly more complicated. C will have to change classes by period (Math in one room, Spanish in another, etc.) as well as by day (each day's schedule is slightly different since only some classes are 5 days per week, while others are 2 or 3 days per week), contend with actual lockers (one in the main hall and one in gym) and floors (3 of them!), and the realities of middle school fashion choices (uniforms - I miss you already!). I have a feeling the 1st couple of weeks are going to be quite a challenge as she acclimates to this new environment.

As for J, well, it has been a bit of rough going there as well. She had gone in a few weeks ago to do a reading test and based on that assessment, I learned yesterday that the school has recommended that she repeat kindergarten. Now, I was already concerned because she is not reading and I felt like she was not at the same level as C had been at that age, but her K teacher from FL seemed to think she was ready for 1st grade. So it was a bit of a blow to have my fears given some credence. J is also very young (the youngest in her class), and I am not opposed to having her be the oldest rather than the youngest in her class. Plus, I would rather she have a strong foundation now instead of perpetually being behind and playing catch up. She's too young to be stressed about school yet. So I was feeling okay with this abrupt and sudden change of plans until I ran into some friends at the school's open house later that afternoon where I learned that the school had also recommended the same thing to them except they turned it down. I was not present when J took her assessment (Husband had to take her, but he wasn't permitted in the room), but my friend S said that she felt the assessment was unfair, that the administrator had been cold and a little intimidating. It's understandable that a young, shy child might clam up and not want to answer questions in an unfamiliar and somewhat scary environment. So now I feel very conflicted. Did I make the right decision for J? I don't want her to feel bad about having to repeat a grade, but I want to make sure she has a really good foundation before we throw her into international school (which generally has even more rigorous standards than U.S. schools). All her new friends here at Oakwood FC will be going into 1st, and I wonder what they/she will think about not being together in the same grade. Did I make the right decision?

A's school entrance have also been somewhat of a nightmare. 1st we had the contention of just getting him in in the first place. Then we had to wait for all the new paperwork to get processed. So when I took in J yesterday I asked about A's class & teacher, and they didn't even have a file on him yet! School starts Tuesday!! Anyway, after some scrambling and a lot of time being sent from person to person in the school, I got word today that A will for sure be in the afternoon program, as well as am e-mail from his new teacher. They have also changed his IEP to reflect the appropriate language, hours of therapy, etc. to meet VA's requirements. He may also have to get two more shots (they never reviewed his shot records since there was no enrollment verification, so no one told me that VA has different standards for immunizations than FL). After all the issues we've faced changing from just one state to another I can only imagine the hell we're going to face when we transfer overseas.

Of course, husband is in LA right now, so I've been taking care of all this + the one-legged dog all on my own (wah, wah). I try not to let my decisions weigh too heavily on me (my thought is usually, what's done is done and you just have to move forward rather than dwelling on the past), but I can't help it when it comes to the kids. Did we do the right thing putting them back in public school (especially for C)? Did I make the right decision having J repeat kindergarten? Will A thrive in his spec ed pre-K or will the other kids need much more attention so he gets lost in the shuffle? This parenting thingy really sucks some times.