All Kinds of Fucked Up

Sorry for the continued radio silence. Work has continued to be crazy busy and I don't foresee it slowing down anytime soon. In addition, Hubs has a new job (yay, Hubs!) that he will be starting on Monday. He is already doing ad hoc work for his old company and working on his MBA (he's taking 3 classes right now, isn't he nuts!), so our schedules are about to get even busier. I think I'm just going to have to accept that blog posts are going to be fewer and more far between than I would like. I blog for two big reasons: first and foremost it acts as an open e-mail-like dialogue for me to keep in contact with family and close friends, but secondly it acts as a record for me to keep track of what we've been up to. I don't keep a diary, so the blog is really the only thing I have that reminds me of all the things we do/have done. So it makes me sad when I think of all these things I would like to blog about but just never seem to have time to get down on paper *sigh*

Anyway, my other big excuse for not blogging how we've been all kinds of fucked up lately. I recently had two crowns replaced on either side of my mouth (because I am smart like that), and while the temporary ones were on (got the permanent ones on today), I was in horrific pain. I think it was just that my crowns were so big that when they removed them and put the very tiny temporary ones on, some of the tooth was exposed that hadn't been exposed to elements for many, many years and so it was terribly sensitive. It has been so painful that I have to take aspirin every 3-4 hours plus the prescription pain meds they gave me (which I only take at night since you can't drive on them) just to be able to function normally. I haven't been able to eat solid foods for two weeks now, and it is driving me insane! I have the new ones on now, but I am still very numb so it remains to be seen if the blinding pain will subside now. On top of that, Hubs gave himself a very nasty cut on his foot while trying to clean up some broken glass in the garage. Luckily he did not need stitches, but they did give him a tetanus shot (aren't they sweet) and, of course, it is very painful to do anything (drive, walk, etc.) since it is on the bottom of his foot.

Okay, enough about the bad stuff. A has been making some really significant progress in therapy. He recently learned how to say mean (men!) as in, while we were waiting for Tim at the ER I ate one of his vanilla wafers (okay, I sucked on it until it turned to mush and then ate it, lol) and he looked at me horrified and cried, "Mean!" lol. C has started softball and really seems to like it. Softball is a much more relaxed sport than soccer, and her team seems very laid back and just there to have fun. It is really perfect for C's style.

J has been taking gymnastics at her school (it's offered as part of the after school program) and is now very into twirling around and doing somersaults. She is also very interested in horses (if only it weren't so expensive!). She recently told me about her dream to own a horse:

J: Mommy, my biggest dream in the whole world is to have my very own horse. No wait, a unicorn.
Me: Wow, that sounds like fun.
J: That flies.
Me: That would be cool.
J: She would be my friend and I would call her princess and we could fly all over the world and eat candy.
Me: That sounds like a wonderful dream.
J: Want to know what my other most favorite, biggestest dream is?
Me: What?
J: *sighs dreamily* I want to drive a truck.

We also recently acquired a new family pet. Christmas Sprinkles came to us courtesy of the Wal-Mart fish department. She was a lovely beta fish. And if you haven't guessed from my use of past tense, Christmas Sprinkles is no longer with us (nor is Christmas Sprinkles 2, but that's another story). Christmas Sprinkles passed on after just a few days of ownership and Tim and I were concerned that the kids would be upset about her death, so we did what all good parents do and surreptitiously flushed her down the toilet without telling anyone. To my great surprise I overheard a conversation between J&C over their morning bowl of cereal:

C: What happened to Christmas Sprinkles?
J: *shrugs* She just dieded.
Me: How did you know that?
J: I just saw her this morning in her bowl and she was dead.
C: Are you sad that Christmas Sprinkles is dead?
J: I guess *pauses thoughtfully* but sometimes things died...and sometimes they stay alive. That's how it goes.

True wisdom from a four-year-old. So we did end up replacing Christmas Sprinkles. We now have two goldfish, Cinderella and Snow White, and a small yellow fish, Mr. Bananas. So far they're still living. As J would say, that's how it goes!

Olympics Whore

I think I may have blogged about this back in '08, but I just love, love, love the freaking Olympics. If Hubs would let me, I would have them on all day long. I can't help it, I'm just a sucker for everything about them. I love the sob stories (happy and sad ones), the amazing athletic fetes, the chance for people to represent their countries, etc. I desperately want to pass on my obsession to my kids, but I just don't know that it's possible any more. When we were growing up there were only so many choices out there on tv. That meant that the Olympic hype was broadcast everywhere and there was little escape from it. Since I always fancied myself an athlete (I had dreams of being an Olympic swimmer - Janet Evans was my childhood hero!), I was so drawn in by the pinnacle of all athletic competitions. I always thought it was a mistake to split the summer/winter Olympics (they really should have stayed during the same year), but that doesn't make me any less excited about seeing them.

It's wierd, though. I grew up Olympics-obsessed, and I kind of thought that was the norm for people. I mean doesn't everyone remember where they were when Mary Lou Retton scored her perfect 10? When Greg Louganis hit his head on the diving board? Is it just me!!?? My hubs doesn't seem to remember actually watching any of these things, and also seems to think I'm a bit nutty over the whole thing. So maybe it is just me? Or maybe the Olympics have lost their luster in the face of so much other competition? Or maybe it's just here in the US? I just watched the Dutch win a gold medal in speed skating, is that big news over there or am I truly the only one left who cares? Either way, I'm still forcing my kids to watch :)

At Last...An Excuse!

Finally, after all this time, I finally have a good excuse as to why I'm too tired to blog, too tired to cook dinner, to tired to go out (etc., etc.). I went to the doctor for the first time in years a little over a week ago just for a check-up and found out that I am apparently so severely anemic that the doctor was shocked I haven't keeled over from a heart attack yet. Anemia is the lack of iron in your blood, but more importantly, it affects the hemoglobin in your red blood cells - you know, those cells that carry oxygen from your heart to every other organ in your body, including your brain. Signs of anemia include constant fatigue, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and feeling cold all the time. You can't function at peak performance with severe anemia since you can never get enough oxygen from your heart to your brain. So all this time I've been blaming my increasing fatigue an inability to muster the will to do anything on my lack of sleep, but really it's because I'm not getting any oxygen to my brain. The symptoms of anemia are mostly annoying and not really dangerous; however, in cases where you have had for a long period of time, your heart has to work extra hard to pump oxygen to your vital organs and sometimes, well, it just works too hard and gives out. Apparently my levels are so low that I'm very nearly at that point (a normal, healthy person has a level between 15-30, my level was 7). It's wierd because in all other ways I am the picture of health. Anemia is generally the symptom of something else not a disease on its own, so they're going to have to do some more testing to figure out what is causing this in an otherwise normal and healthy person. But, honestly, I'm pretty relieved that they found this out (and not just because it would suck to keel over froma heart attack). I have been trying to figure out why I never seem to be able to kick this feeling of exhaustion or why I can't seem to concentrate for very long or why I don't ever feel like I'm at full mental capacity. I thought it was just that I don't get enough sleep and that I was just destined to always feel this way. Now I have a cause for my symptoms, one I can actually treat and, hopefully, recover from. So I'm feeling very positive!

Hubs celebrated my potential impending death by going out and spending in anticipation of the large life insurance settlement. Okay, in reality he went to a couple of garage sales and found this nifty cuckoo clock. It looks pretty damn ugly to me, but when he took it to the jewelers to see if it could be restored, he found out it is a very rare clock. One of only 25 made to be exact and one for which there is a nice collectors market. Hubs was offered a very tidy sum by the clock fixer upper guy, but he turned it down because he enjoys making me look at ugly clocks, lol.

The Higher Up in Government I Get

the more disillusioned I become... *sigh*

WTF Happened to January

Somehow I blinked and January was gone. Not really sure what happened. I think this god awful project that has swllowed up all of my spare time also got hold of Januray. Oh well, I don't really like cold weather anyway, lol.

Anyway, lots has happened. I swallowed up by this horrible project which required very long hours for very little thanks (it's nice to have contractors around since they can always be the scapegoat for gov't incompetence...I mean it must be nice for the people I work for since I am but a lowly contractor myself). I was working 12-15 hour days, weekends and holidays, I even missed most of my parents' visit here a couple of weeks ago *sigh* On a positive note, I managed to score an all too quick trip to see my little sis and her soon to be hubby in Amsterdam. That was really such an enjoyable trip, not only because A-dam was a beautiful city with such a great vibe, but because I had my first real opportunity as an adult to sit down and just chat with my little sis as women. It was so neat to connect on that level, and it makes me appreciate her all the more (and miss her, too!). Even though we're only a couple of years apart in age, we haven't really lived near each other in 16 years, and, while we skype and talk at family get togethers and stuff, this was the first time we just hung out together (i.e. went shopping and ate, lol!). Hopefully my future projects will continue to take me over her way so we can spend more time together!

As you've surmised from the above, I managed to score the trip on the front end of a business trip to Germany (where my credit card info was stolen, just to add insult to injory). I didn't get to see much of Germany b/c I was working on a military base so I basically went from the hotel to work and back again since we were working such long hours. I did, however, get to enjoy many hours waiting for my delayed plane in the Frankfurt airport (which I knew quite well since my flight into A-dam was canceled and I had a lovely adventure trying to get my luggage back an dtake the train...someday I may well tell this story, but this entry is already getting a bit long and my brain is fried from trying to do my taxes - I fucking hate the state of NM this time of year!!!!). Oops, sorry, I thought I had gotten all of that out of my system earlier. I'll try to save tax bitching for another post!

At some point I will actually get off my ass and download my Europe pics so you can what A-dam in the snow looks like (hint - it literally looks like a postcard - so beautiful!), and I may even have some pictures of the Frankfurt airport (I was there for a looong time). Also, if you enjoyed my last post (such a long, long time ago) about not giving a fuck, you should really check out this link my Aunt B sent me (thanks, Aunt B!). It made me laugh when I really needed to :)