A Year of Jocelyn

It's Like A Heat Wave Yeah! Yeah!

It is so freaking hot, I can't even find the words the describe it. Oh sure, I know what you all are thinking, I like in gorgeous, sunny Southern California and I should just shut up and be happy about it. Well, I'll have you know that we are going through serious record breaking tempertatures combined with unusual humidity levels. We also don't have air conditioning (nor do I have it in my car) since we live right by the beach, which would lead one to think we might get a freakin breeze every once in a while!!! I just can't take these extreme temps. They make me very cranky. Especially since I have to walk a 1/2 mile to my car from work (since there is no parking for military folks on Los Angeles AIR FORCE BASE - I hope that makes as much sense to you as it does to me) then drive home in a sweltering car with no a/c as sweat pours down body collecting in a lovely pool of disgustingness in my BDU pants. It is quite the unpleasant experience to remove my combat boots when I get home, trust me! Now, I am of the firm belief that sweating is a disgusting, icky and smelly habit reserved only for fat old men and the gym, so it unfortunate that I happen to sweat very easily. Thus I end each day in a foul temper as (after 3-4 cold showers), I lay awake in bed wiping the sweat from my forehead and pray to sleep just so I won't feel hot. How I long for June gloom!!

Better Then the Beach...at least for the parents ;)

Poop Party or How I Know I Love My Children

So, this morning I go into Jocelyn's room to wake her as usual, and I notice a highly unpleasant smell emanating from her playpen (which is where she sleeps since the movers broke her crib). Now a baby's room never smells that great after a long night of defacating in their pants; howeve, today's smell was a little stronger than usual. Of course, Jocelyn wants to be picked up immediately, and I, in my sleepy stupor, bend down and pick her right up without noticing anything out of the ordinary. I quickly realize that something is terribly wrong. It seems that somehow during the night, Jocelyn hs managed to get her diaper off and all tha lovely defacating she normally does in there is now all over the playpen, her blankets, her body, and now mine.

So, I do what any loving mommy would do when she notices her baby is covered in sh*t, I totally freak out. Of course, today is the day that Tim went to pick up Tommy and Vanessa, so I have no other adult to assist me despite the factthat I now have baby poop on my face and in my hair. I can't put Jocelyn down on the floor b/c we would get sh*t on the carpet; I can't put her bckin the playpen b/c it has sh*t smeared all over the inside, and I can't put her in the bathtub b/c I can't leave her alone in there while I clean up. So I have to carry her around with me while I get more and more sh*t wiped over various other parts of my body while I clean up the rest of the room. Then I have to give her a bath, clean the remaining sh*t out of tub, scrape the sh*t off the blankets, put those and the towels in the wash, carefully inspect the carpet in her room for any signs of sh*t, and hose out the playpen all while I continue to have SH*T IN MY HAIR!!! Ahem, sorry about that.

After all that is done (and I spray Lysol air fresher everywhere and vacuum the carpet with carpet freshner), I notice how cute Jocelyn looks in her new little outfit. That's right, despite having a complete poop party this morning, those mommy instincts do not allow you to get mad at your kids, but instead notice how really cute they are when they are learning to stand without assistance. Damn those mommy genes!

Craigslist is the New Ebay

Okay, so all of you who know me well know about my Ebay obsession. Since I was sans 'puter for so long, I kind of broke myself of the habit (lack of extra $ helps, too ;) Just in time to take its place, I stumbled onto a site called craigslist.org which connects people through want ads in various cities. Since we live in one of the biggest cities in the US, craigslist for LA rocks!! (Be sure not to accidentally type in craiglist instead of craigslist or you will be in for a surprise :) ) We found a full bed for our guest room/kids room and are looking for a dining room table we can agree on. We're also planning to sell our old couch and bed rather then having to hold a garage sale. Ebay is still the best for things like clothes, DVDs, etc., but craigslist is better for furniture and it also has ads for anything from Chinese lessons ($20/hr!!) to Russian Blue kittens to "special" massages. The best part is that you can't get out-bid at the last second like I always do on Ebay!! :(

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Yeah, Tim!