Insomnia

You would think now that my Masters program is finally over (FINALLY!!!) I would actually spend some time updating my blog. Oh you silly readers. Actually a little over a week ago I began suffering from the worst bout of insomnia I've ever had. I've always been prone to periods of insomnia for as long as I can remember. I have these weird memories of childhood nights spent listening to a self-hypnosis cassette tape meant to help me visualize my way to sleep. I can also remember hearing the click of the cassette as the tape ended, lol. As I've gotten older I've recognized that usually these patterns develop during times of high stress, and they usually last for about 3-4 days or until I pass out from lack of sleep (because, as with everything in my life, we don't half-ass things here at Pu's Corner, if I have insomnia it means I don't sleep at all). This last bout, however, seems to be unending. It started the last week of my Master's Program (and the week following my incredibly poor performance during my 1st Tagalog assessment), so I thought once I finished up with school that it would clear up. Alas I think I totally fucked myself up in the head because I have not been able to sleep for almost 2 weeks now.

You would think at some point a person would just keel over from lack of sleep, but apparently you can just keep on functioning. Husband eventually dragged me to the doctor after my own attempts to self-drug did not work (I tried Tylenol PM, Melatonin, and even NyQuil). The doctor prescribed me Ambien, which helped give me a few hours of sleep, but I would still wake up at about 3-4am and then be wide awake until my alarm went off. So I went to see a sleep specialist, who basically told me there's nothing wrong with me (physically) and then gave me some Ambien CR, which is supposed to last longer but ended up acting just like the regular Ambien. I finally got fed up and combined a double of dose of Ambien with some alcohol, which is not particularly safe or healthy, but it did work. I slept from 10pm to 8am this morning. I have never been so happy! Hopefully this will kick my body into gear and get me over this mental block against sleep. I guess we'll find out tonight!