Traveler Alert - Magical Unicorn Pony God Stolen By Dutch Sister

So apparently the Pu family only gets one magical unicorn pony god of travel smile because my experience this last weekend was decidedly not magical or ponyish. It started off with my accustomed delay out of Tampa on the first leg of my trip, but nothing too out of the ordinary. It was the joy of the Dallas airport that really made this trip special. To begin, I had planned to fly out Friday night to get to the Springs so I could work Sat-Sun and fly back Monday morning. Well, I had a four, which turned into five, hour layover at the Dallas airport, so I amused myself by traveling from terminal to terminal as American arbitrarily changed my gate five or six times. At the Dallas airport, when you go from one terminal to another, you must exit the terminal and go back through security. There I discovered that my 5oz bottle of expensive conditioner was only considered secure enough to pass through Tampa screening. Apparently Dallas is worried that too many people with shiny hair might overwhelm their ability to respond to a security incident. So I was forced to pay American to take my extremely small and light baggage since the baggage fee was actually less than what the conditioner originally cost me. Then we were delayed for another hour and sent back to Terminal C to fly out (but you had to run to make it since I had only had five hours in the airport for them to make the decision to switch the gate...again). I finally made it on board the aircraft and we began to taxi...and taxi...and taxi...all the way back to our original gate...where we were informed that due to fog in the Springs our flight was officially canceled. Of course, I was seated in row 32F, which in case you're not familiar, is the very last seat on the aircraft. So you can imagine what place in line I got when I finally got off board. After much patience on my part, I finally got to speak to someone at the counter, where I was informed that since the cancellation was due to weather and thus not the airline's fault, I would have to pay for my own hotel room. They did, however, book me a room and put me on the very next flight in the morning. I could have chosen to fly into Denver that night, but then I would have had no luggage so it was a moot point. The lady at the counter then tells me that I need to go to baggage area 26 to get my luggage (which I'd just paid to have checked even though I didn't want to). I proceed to discover that the woman is an idiot because baggage area 26 does not actually exist. After much wandering aimlessly around the airport, I attach myself to another group from my original flight that is also wandering aimlessly, and we manage to bring force in numbers and, after several unsuccessful attempts, make one of the airport employees tell us where we can find our bags. Then we make our way to the unmarked pick up area (again, strength is in the numbers...I am convinced the only reason we were picked up is because we became an angry mob of people who were looking for the hotel shuttle and someone pitied us) and make it over to the hotel. Finally, a night's sleep.

I wake up at the crack of dawn the next morning because I don't know the Dallas airport well and don't want to miss my flight. Of course, I end up with two hours to spare but at least I make the flight...which is then delayed due to more fog. After about an hour the pilot comes on the loud speaker and tells us we are just going to take off anyway and hope the fog lifts like it is supposed to. We make it to the Springs and circle the airport once, twice, thrice, god knows how many times but long enough that the pilot finally comes up and tells us we will be landing at Denver because we're running out of fuel. At this point I no longer care and just want to get the fuck off the airplane, so I am not even upset. We land in Denver and begin to taxi down the runway. As we stop at the gate, the pilot comes back on the loud speaker and says we ere just cleared to land in Colorado Springs so we are going to take back off, but we still need to refuel so it is another 45min wait and then we finally get to fly back the the Springs. So after leaving Tampa at 3pm on Friday, I finally arrive in the Springs at 2pm on Saturday. Then, of course, I have to go into work, otherwise I won't get paid. So I work until about 7pm that night, all day on Sunday (0630-1700) and then fly back on Monday only to go back to work at my civilian job. Remind me again why I do this? ;)