C's First Day of School

So...Damn...Hot

Sorry I haven't had the chance to post for a while. Obviously things are a bit hectic now that I'm back at work and all, and, of course, with Hubs being gone last weekend. I swear that the cosmos are totally aware of Hubs' travel patterns and plan accordingly because I got absolutely zero sleep this last weekend. Between J being sick and puking one night, A pissing on my fabulous couch, and the fact that it..was...so...fucking...HOT...that I literally lay in bed in a pool of my own sweat and prayed for morning to come so I could just get a freaking shower! I know I shouldn't bitch, what with the generally gorgeous and perfect weather we have here, but I have lived in some seriously crappy weather places (Seattle rain, West Texas humidity, Misawa snow...) that I deserve good weather (*stomps feet and whines* I deseeeeerve it!) . Plus we don't have A/C, so we were all sweaty and cranky this weekend. Thank god the heatwave seems to have broken and we are getting our breeze back.

C started school today.* She was super excited but a little nervous. She keeps telling me how she's worried about how hard third grade is going to be *gack* (sorry, I just choked a little bit at the thought that I have somehow become old enough to be the mother of a third grader!!) We ran into her friend Hannah while walking to school (I came in late today), so I got some cute pics of them, which I'll upload here at some point. The little ones were pretty good. A decided to wait until the school bell rang to start screaming his poor, little head off. Of course, he didn't stop until we got home, so I'm sure the neighborhood enjoyed that! :)

Not So Cool Mom

C: That's crazy.
Me: Yeah, that's redunkulous**
C: Mo'ooom, redunkulous is not a word.
Me: Of course it's a word. If it wasn't a word how could I say it?
C: *sternly* Mom, redunkulous is not a word.
Me: It isn't?
C: *with a very serious face* No.
Me: Well, I like it.
C: *sighs heavily* Mom, you are so not cool.

*Please do not ask me why RB has kids start school on a Thursday. Who starts their week on a Thursday? Also, do not ask me why the summer camp run by the same city ends 2 weeks before school starts. Maybe they were as confused about the school start date as I was?

**My girl K is always using this expression, which I think is ginormously hilarious. For example, say your organization was planning to be a part of a huge, nation-wide exercise that usually takes upwards of a year or more to plan for. And, say your organization had worked hard on coming up with a scenario for said exercise only to be told by your HHQ (higher headquarters) that the exercise was now going to be led by a totally different and mucher higher HHQ (an HHHQ?) and that your organization was no longer invited to play, nyah, nyah, nyah. Well, first you would feel a little indignent and your feelings would be hurt because you are the evil, red-headed, aquisition step-child that no one wants to play with. Then you would get over it and realize that it saves you a whole heck of a lotta work. Then, several months later, HHQ sends you an e-mail asking for technical data for the scenario you weren't allowed to use because you weren't allowed to participate. And when you ask them what is going on they say, "Oh yeah, did we forget to tell you? We are going to let you play, but, just to get you up to speed, the final planning conference is next week and the exercise is going to kick off next month insetad of in four months. Sooo, we kind of need that incredibly difficult to produce technical data (that you told the engineers not to worry about) like...today." --- that, my friends, is redunkulous.

Flat Like a Pancake...

So Hubs is out of town again *sigh* It's not his fault. Actually, he's gone for a really good reason. My FIL is getting re-married and Hubs is the best man, so he kind of has to be there. I was hoping to go, too, but we just can't afford it right now (especially with all the uncertainty of whether or not we're staying in, where we're going to go, etc). I still felt really bad having to tell my FIL I wouldn't be able to make it, though I'm sure he understood. To make matters even worse just about everyone is sick right now. A is actually the only one who hasn't displayed any symptoms, so he's sure to be sick as a dog this weekend. Lucky me! Plus, this is back-to-school shopping weekend. I had hoped to avoid it, but C really needs some new clothes (her old stuff is starting to look pretty shabby after a long, hard summer of playing!) and she only has one pair of shoes that still fit, and trust me when I say they look like absolute shit. So it's going to be an interesting (and by interesting, I mean stressful and sucky) weekend for me. The only good part is that Hubs feels so guilty for leaving me alone with the kids again that he will be kissing my butt when he gets home (or maybe not now that I've written about it. Way to go me)



Pu's Interpretation of Baby Talk


Waaaaaaaaah! = Oh my god. I'm dying over here, lady. Get off your ass and feed me!
Waaaaaaaaah! = It has been .2 seconds since my last cry and I am still not being fed. What kind of crack house are you running here!?
Waaaaaaaaah! = Okay, this is getting ridiculous. I have been crying for, like, at least 5 seconds, and I have yet to be fed. I want to speak to your manager!
Waaaaaaaaah! = What do you mean there's no manager here? What is this Orbitz customer service? You people are so incompetent. It has been at least 7 seconds since I started crying and I still have no food.
Waaaaaaaaah! = Okay, I know that Dad is out of town and that J is insane and C has been sucked into the mind-numbing vortex known as tv, but doesn't anybody realize that I am the important one here? I am dyyyyying of starvation. It has taken you 10 seconds to feed me and now I have worked myself up and I cannot eat until I have been comforted.
Waaaaaaaah! = Did you hear me??!! I said I must be comforted first! Comforted, I tell you! Now I will do nothing but cry until you stop trying to stick that nipple in my mouth and snuggle me.
Waaaaaaaah! = Snuggle meeeeeee!

*pausing to receive comforting snuggles*

Waaaaaaah! = I know you finally figured out that I needed to be calmed first, and I am actually eating now, but I feel that I still have some crying left in me. I must continue to cry sporadically while you feed because I am upset. I have no idea why I am upset, and neither do you (which is half the fun), but it seems like this crying thing is working out pretty well for me so I am just going to stick with it for a while until I can get J to cry, too. Then you will have a crying baby and a crying toddler, and you will have to choose which one to pay attention to. And it better be me!
Waaaaaaah! = You are not paying enough attention to me! You must look at me while you feed me. You must coo in a high pitched voice and say things like, 'Who's the cutest baby?' using the same voice inflection as Scooby Doo. You must stroke my cheek and ignore that red-haired toddler who is hogging all of your attention.
Whimper, Whimper = Fine, so you have caved into all my demands. Clearly you have no spine, and I must think of other things to cry about.
Waaaaaah! = Now I have gas.

Conversations With 'Toddler-With-a-Cold'



Me: Good morning, sunshine!
J: Humph! *rolls over and hides under covers*
Me: What should we wear today. Ooooh, how about a pretty dress? You love your pretty dress.
J: No.
Me: Okay, how about some shorts and your pink shirt? *enticingly* It's your favorite shirt....
J: No.
Me: Okay, then you can just stay in your night-night clothes all day if you want.
J: No.
Me: Then what would you like to wear?
J: No.
Me: Fine, you can just be naked.
J: No.
J: Ses'me Steet!
Me: Oh, you want to wear your Sesame Street outfit.
J: No.


J: A'les yucky.
Me: What's wrong with Alex?
J: A'les wet. Ew!
Me: Did he spit up? *discovers that A has not, in fact, spit up. Rather, he has wet himself and the last blanket that is not in the wash* Oh, shit!
J: *helpfully* Shat!
Me: Don't say that.
J: Shat!
Me: *trying to clean up the mess while fending off J, who is trying to be helpful by handing me back all of the soiled clothes I am throwing on the floor* God dammit, Jesus Christ!
J: Jeeeesa. *pause* Shat!


C-Isms

Some More Amusement to Help Waste Your Workday...
Butt Minus, hee.

Something you will only find funny if you happen to live in Amsterdam and/or are a fan of Lost (only 6 more months, aghhhhhh!)

If you haven't heard about poor Miss Teen South Carolina then you must live under a rock. --
how sad is it that this is what passes for news in the States*

*I guess those South Korean missionary hostages being released by the Taliban after the South Korean government bought them off isn't quite as exciting as making fun of a teenage girl who fucked up a pageant question.

No VSP :(

If you were wondering whether or not the VSP program for '08 came out (as I'm sure you all were), it did and, of course, I am not eligible. Seems the AF finally got a clue after making so many personnel cuts last year that we were practically bleeding intel officers. After over a year of kicking people out left and right they finally realized, "Hey! There's a war going on and we're getting rid of all our experienced people. Perhaps that is not the smartest move?" So, all operational AFSC's (which includes yours truly) are now off the list of folks they're willing to cut loose seeing as they're now down to 65% manning for intel captains. Way to go, AF! I remember when we first had all the mandatory info meetings about the force shaping program, and the officer in charge would get up and declare vehemently that the AF WAS NOT going to make the same mistakes they did last time (in the mid-90's when they got rid of a ton of people after the 1st Gulf War). This time it would be different! This time they had a plan! Oh, how I laughed and laughed. Somehow it seemed fairly obvious to me that one's military should probably not start giving out incentives to get rid of people while, you know, there's a war going on! But, then, I actually have a brain, something that the folks at AFPC clearly lack. So now they've finally gotten a clue, just in time to screw me. Figures.

At any rate, we're now in the process of trying to igure out what the hell we're going to do. Right now I'm sort of hedging my bets as to whether I'll stay in or not. My boss is trying to see if there's any way I can get a guaranteed state-side deployment. If that's a possibility, I may stay in a bit longer. If not, well, I've already started putting my resume out there. I figure it can't hurt to see what I'm worth on the outside.

Drama, Drama, Drama

I think all of my children are born with the drama queen gene. A is clearly learning from his older sisters and has learned how to manipulate Mommy into doing just what he wants. He likes to fuss and cry so that I go to all the trouble of getting ready to feed him, then he'll refuse to take the nipple and just sit there and smile at me so that I can't get angry because he's just so darn cute. Or I'll have him in my arms but be paying attention to something else and he'll start twisting and fussing until I look at him. Then he'll smile really big as if to say, Pay attention to meeeeeee! Of course, being a drama queen has its advantages for us parents. For example, it's very easy to distract J when she's throwing a tantrum. All I have to do is start pointing out old boo-boos and she will hold up whatever body part it is for kisses and forget all about whatever it was she was throwing a fit about. Very useful!

A Year of Pu

As many of you may be aware, I had a birthday on Monday. I am now one year older and one year sexier (and have added one more kid to the mix). I feel very accomplished ;)

Hubs took me to a nice romantic restaurant in Hermosa Beach. The service was lacking a bit, but we had a very secluded table with no one else around and the food was decent. Plus, there was nary a child to be found! I also got a new pair of sunglasses, some new sandals, one of my fave beatnik books (Naked Lunch, the restored edition), and a black purse that I can actually carry in uniform so that I no longer have to attempt to stuff the contents of my purse into my pockets every work day (yay!).

In other news, C leaves tomorrow to fly all by herself to Abq to visit the old folks home..I mean, the grandparents ;) She is extremely excited to be attending the Grandma & Grandpa Pu Joint Cooking & Baking School for Grandchildren. She hopes to earn her degree in 8-Year Old Prep Cook/Baker in just three days! (Well, she's flying back on Sunday, so, really, she doesn't have much of a choice) I, on the other hand, am extremely apprehensive since C is not exactly known for her shyness. Hopefully she gets a good seatmate who isn't too annoyed by the the constant chatter he/she is sure to be subjected to. I imagine many crying baby flights will be ion my karmic future to make up for this!

Anecdotes From Pu's Corner

#1 Why you should always be careful about the expressions you use around children
Me: *after instructing said kiddos on what to do* And, hop to it!
C: *whispers loudly to T as they scamper out of the kitchen* She said we were supposed to hop!
Me: Not literally!

#2 I must admit that while things have calmed down somewhat since we downsized tha family, things are still a bit hectic when we are all squished into a small space. Yesterday's car ride home was just another example of why god created radios with the ability to turn the volume waaay up ;)
Me: So how was your day?
C: I wish the world was edible.
J: *having been denied the ability to buckle her car seat seatbelt by Nature and Mom's quick fingers* Meeeee do it!! Meeee wanna do it!
Me: It's already done! Now why would you want the world to be edible?
A: *realizing that someone else is crying in some near proximity and that he must automatically top them for loudest crier* Waaaaaaaah!
C: Because then I could eat everything like the trees, the sidewalk, the playground...
J: Meeee do it! *begins kicking my chair rhythymically* Meeeeeeee!
C: the house, my sister, the beach, the sand...
A: Waaaaaaaaah!
Me: *attempting to ignore the screamers in the backseat* What about clothes? What would you do if someone ate your pants?
C: *in a 'duh, Mom' voice* Well, everyone would just wear two pairs of pants. That way if someone ate your pants you would still not be naked.
J: *daunted by A's cryin' throwdown begins sniffing pitifully* Me do it. *sniff* Big girl. Big girl do it. *sniff*
A: *not yet realizing he has won the crying competition* Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
C: Or, I could just wear a skirt.
Me: What if someone ate both pairs of your pants?
C: *looks at me like I have lost my mind* Who would do that?
Me: Ah yes, how silly of me. Clearly eating two pairs of pants is out of the question.
C: Yeah! You'd get a stomach ache.

#3 J's vocabulary expansion

J is at that stage now where her vocabulary is growing leaps and bounds every day. I think toddlers learn something like 10-15 new words on average per day. Our conversations have gone from...

J: Momee! Momee! Momee! Momee! Momee! Momee! Momeeeeeeeee!
Me: What!!??
J: *proudly* Bubbles.

to...

J: Momee, look'it! Momee, look'it! Momee, look'it! Momee, look'it! Momee, look'it! Momeeeeeee, look'it!
Me: What!!??
J: *proudly* Me bo' bubbles.


#4 More Humor From the Mind of an 8-Year Old


C: *pointing to the backseat* Mommy, there's something down there!
Me: What?
C: Just look, Mommy! Look down there.
Me: I can't right now, I'm driving. Just tell me what it is.
C: Mooom! I'm supposed to say l'ook down there', and then you say, 'Under where?'
Me: Why?
C: Just do it! Pleeease, Mom.
Me: Fine, under where?
C: Hahahaha! You said underwear!
Me: *sigh*

HR Hatin'

So for about a month now the AFPC (AF Personnel Center - our HR peeps) has had August 15th posted as the date when the fiscal year 2008 VSP (voluntary separation pay) plan is supposed to come out. As many of you know, I have been waiting for this program to come out so I can put in my separation paperwork and get a nice, fat chunk o' change. I wanted to make sure that I was first in line so that I could be guaranteed a slot (the AF is being much smarter about getting rid of people who have overages in their career fields and mine only has a few slots left after the FY 07 program closed out in May). So I tried calling my local personnel office about 50x both yesterday and today, and, of course, no one answered the phone or returned any of my messages because they are HR and what do they care about my career? So I sucked it up and got the kiddos up early and headed on down to base first thing this morning to make sure I got my paperwork in. When I get to the MPF (personnel office) the two civilian ladies working the customer service desk (who don't bother to get up and answer my question for 10 minutes -- EVEN THOUGH I AM THE ONLY PERSON IN THE OFFICE -- because one of them is on the telephone) have no idea what I am talking about. In fact, they don't even know what the VSP is. This is the customer service section, people. This program (for FY 07) has been out for over a year and they don't know what I am talking about??!! Finally, one of them suggests that I go upstairs and talk to the folks in Separations (who I had also tried calling with no success). So I go up there with questions in hand and receive the same blank stare from the girl in uniform at their front desk. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?? These are the people who are supposed to be helping me and they don't have the first freaking clue what I am talking about. Can you seriously be that incompetent at your job? Finally she locates someone who actually knows what I am talking about and it turns out that AFPC has not yet released the message for the FY 08 program (in spite of the fact that the website has been saying it will be released today for the last damn month). Not only that, but he has no idea when the message will be released, what it will say, or what information I'll need to provide them with when the message is actually released. So I got the kids up early (meaning I stayed up after A's 5am feeding since it takes me that long to get everyone ready) and drove all the way to base for nothing all because AFPC didn't bother to update their website on, you know, the 14th of August and because no one would answer their goddamn phone. If I hadn't had the kids with me, I might have just let a few choice words fly (which would probably have been quite stupid since I will eventually have to go through these people to put my paperwork in even if they have no idea what they are doing). I can't believe that my HR department is so damn incompetent. Okay, that's not true. HR is almost always incompetent, but it's still very frustrating!

In other news, Hubs is on a business trip to Toronto this week, so I am all alone with the kids, wah! Plus his cell phone is getting roaming charges out there (I guess b/c he's in another country), so we can't even talk that much since we don't want to run up our phone bill :( Hubs is my beacon of sanity in an otherwise poop and puke-filled world. I miss him so much!

2 Down, 3 To Go

Of course the last one still has another 18 or so years before I can legally kick him out of the house, but who's counting? ;)

The step-kiddos left this weekend (in case you hadn't grasped that fact from my ever so obvious post title), and we are down to just our three. In fact, today is my first day sans kiddos in god knows how long (okay, technically there is a newborn in the house but since he sleeps for longer than a fifteen minutes at a time, he no longer counts!). Ah, sweet freedom! I can't remember the last time I had a good twenty minute stretch without hearing:

"Mom, I'm bored!"

"Mom, he/she hit me!"

"Mom, he/she is teasing me!"

"Mom, J/V/C/T won't share!"

"Mom, J/V/C/T said I'm a poop/booger/fart-head/nose/butt!"

"Mom, I'm still bored!"

"Mom, 'Nessa/Ca'tin/Tommy hit/bonk face/head (or some toddler-speak combination thereof)

Let me tell you, a baby screaming is nothing compared to hours on end of yelling at 4 insane children:

"Stop jumping on the bed!"

"Stop running in the house!"

"Don't hit your sister/brother!"

"Stop mauling your brother. Faces are not ticklish!"

*screaming at the top of my lungs* "Stop screaming! The baby is sleeping!" --and if that sounds counterproductive, let me tell you, it is.

At any rate, I do actually have things to do today (I go back to work on Thursday *sigh*). So I'l leave you with some pearls of wisdom I gleaned from someone else's blog (linked to by my sis MR):

Top 10 Toddler Rules of Possession
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in anyway.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours

Quick Pics

I know I've been incognito for the last month, but I promise a nice long update when everyone leaves this weekend. A few things you may have missed: J turned 2 and A hit the two month mark. Hope you all are slightly less frazzled than I am!

I Am Losing My Mind...

Here's some pics my mom took (and some more recent ones) to tide you over.

A's Birth Story (Finally!)

So, on Sunday (June 3rd, my lil' sis' b-day) I kept having this wierd feeling, umm, down there. Like I was leaking or something, but there was hardly any fluid at all and I had had so many false alarm feelings before. I didn't want to send the girls to the sitter and trek on down to the hospital for just a false alarm, so I figured it was better to take the wait and see approach. If the contractions started coming, I'd surely have enough time to get to the hospital! Anyway, this went on all day with no contractions, so I chalked it up to me just wanting it to happen versus anything actually be labor-icious about it. (I did call my mom just in case, and she changed her plane ticket to arrive on Monday instead of Tuesday, which was when I was supposed to be induced). So we went about our day and went to bed as usual. At about 2am I woke up to a terrible contraction, but I figured it was just a BH and tried to go back to sleep. But they just kept coming In fact I was starting to get a little pissed because I couldn't get back to sleep thanks to my contractions! Finally, I got the brilliant idea to just get up and start timing them. So I went downstairs (so as not to wake the Hubs) and got on the computer to do what any woman in my situation would do: Google for signs of active labor. Of course I didn't find anything particularly helpful, but it was comforting to think I was doing something rather than just sitting there. After about an hour of my contractions coming at very regular intervals of about 5min apart, I starting thinking that maybe this wasn't another false alarm. So I went upstairs to let Hubs know. Unfortunately, I may have cried wolf one too many times.
Me: I think I'm going into labor.
Hubs: (muttering sleepily) No you're not. Go back to sleep.
Me: (a little indignantly) Um, I'm pretty sure about this. My contractions are coming every five minutes apart.
Hubs: (sleepily) Mmm hmm. Just get back in bed.
Me: (getting angry) No, I'm serious. In fact I'm getting one right now. Ow, OW! Now get your ass out of bed and take me to the hospital!
Hubs: (yawns) Can't it wait until morning?
Me: Only if you want me to have this baby on our new bed.
Hubs: (springing out of bed) And off we go!

So, we woke the girls up and packed a quick overnight bag and took them over to BS's house. J seemed very confused and a little scared about the whole situation. She didn't even want to get out of the car when we got to BS's (and she loves it over there), but C was pretty nochalant. She is a heavy sleeper no matter what, so I don't think she cared about anything except going back to sleep. Then we headed off to the hospital. We arrived and parked in the emergency room parking lot (it was only about 3:30-4am so the front doors were locked). Immediately we were directed to Labor and Delivery on the 3rd floor. I, being the person in labor, was concentrating on being able to walk through the pain and neglected to listen to the directions from the front desk staff. My Hubs also neglected to listen for reasons I have yet to figure out. Luckily most of the doors around us were locked, so we were able to navigate ourselved to the right elevator by process of elimination.

Once we got into L&D, they hooked me up to the machines, measured my cervix (3cm) and started measuring my contractions. They were looking pretty wimpy on the monitor, but, by this time, I was absolutely sure I was in labor because they felt so strong. After about an hour, my nurse checked my cervix again and I was up to 4cm, so it was determined that I was, in fact, in labor. (Me to Hubs: "Told you so!") So I was transferred to a delivery & recovery room and given a permanent nurse (her name was Cam Cameron, no really!) who was really awesome. They asked me if I wanted my epidural now or if I wanted to wait. Having done the whole brave thing in the past (and not having one for C's birth), I immediately said yes. L&D apparently wasn't too busy that night b/c the anesthesiologist came in right away (yay!). The epidural was fairly easy, although I did get some pain in my right lower back, which kind of freaked me out. Then my blood pressure started to drop (this is a normal reaction to an epidural), which makes you feel very dizzy and faint and can actually be a little scary, but they put some shit in my IV which made it stabilize and pretty soon I was just sitting there, happily numb, waiting for my baby to come. After what seemed like a very short while, Cam checked my cervix again and announced that I was already at 8cm. Although they had paged my doc, he obviously wasn't going to get there in time, so the doc on call came over to deliver me. Hubs held my hand and I pushed for about 15 min (same as with C) and out popped A.

So, after my crazy experiences with C (extremely long and difficult labor) and J (scary labor worrying about her health), I finally got the "normal" experience I was hoping for. And, it was really quick! I woke up at about 2am with the start of my contractions, and A was born at 8:36am, so I was only in labor for about 6 hours. Not too shabby! The recovery this time around did seem harder, though. I had a lot of joint pain (horrible feeling like your joints are bing pulled apart), so it was difficult to even get in and out of bed. Plus, Hubs had to go back to work right away, so it was just me and the kids after my moms left (thank god she was there for the 1st two weeks and basically did everything!). I've posted before about A being a difficult baby, so I won't repeat all that here but that has definately added an extra level of stress to the whole experience. Luckily it seems like his constipation is clearing up and his stuffy nose has finally cleared up, so I can stop stressing out about his breathing. Also, we moved his bassinet downstairs and out of our room, which seems to have helped quite a bit with his sleeping (and mine!), so I get at least a couple of hours at a time.

So that is my story. I feel like it is so boring after all the excitement of C and J's births, but I am so happy to have had the whole experience of going into labor on my own (even though it wasn't nearly as exciting as I thought it would be!). Hope you all enjoyed it!

Each new generation born is in effect an invasion of civilization by little barbarians

So we're gearing up for the invasion. The step-kids arrive this weekend, and my MIL will be here on Tuesday. So, C and I are cleaning the house like mad since it will most likely not be clean again for another month!


Proud Mommy Moments

#1 Alex's 1st Smile

I was sitting on the couch holding Alex, cooing and smiling and tickling his cheeks. He looked deep into my eyes - clearly communing with me on a deep mother to child level - and gave me a big smile! My heart brimmed over with joy and motherly pride at my little boy's beautiful smile...and, then...he farted. *sigh*

#2 J's New Word

Hubs and I were sitting at the kitchen table playing Uno (we have such exciting lives), and J was sitting at the other end of the table coloring on a piece of paper. Hubs and I can be very competetive when it comes to games, i.e. we live to talk a lot of trash. Hubs isn't necessarily the best at, um, hiding his colorful language, so he was letting a few choice words fly as I kicked his ass. J was really getting into her coloring and at one point the pen flew off the paper in a particularly violent way. "Oh!" exclaimed J, forming a big "O" of surprise with her mouth and slapping her hands to her cheeks in comedic fashion (clearly she is taking after her big sis in the drama queen department! "Oh, fock!" she said.

Me: *mouth hanging open* What did you say?!
J: *not paying any attention to me* Fock...*in a sing-song voice* fock, fock, fock
Me: *to Hubs* This is all your fault
J: *nodding sagely* Fock.

#3 C the Comedian

C: Knock, knock
Me: *reading a magazine* Hmmm?
C: Mom, I'm telling a joke. I say 'knock, knock,' then you have to say, 'who's there?'
Me: I do, huh?
C: Moooom! Just say it!
Me: Okay, okay. Who's there?
C: No, you have to wait until I say 'Knock, knock."
Me: But you just said it.
C: No I didn't! I was telling you what to say!
Me: Whatever. Tell your joke, honey.
C: Okay, okay. Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
C: Boo. Now you say, 'Boo who?'
Me: You know, jokes are a lot more funny if you don't tell the audience what they're supposed to do.
C: Moooom! Just say it!
Me: Fine, fine. Boo who?
C: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Me: You didn't say the punchline.
C: No, you did! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Me: Wow. Remind me to make sure you don't pursue a career in comedy.

Other Random Tidbits

I am seriously contemplating buying this for Mom.

They've finally stopped playing that highly aggrevating K-Mart commercial every five seconds, only to replace it with that equally annoying Oreo commercial with the upside down faces of kids singing. You know, the one where they sing the Oreo theme song in cutesy, off-key voices with faces painted on their chins. Whoever thought up that ad campaign should be shot.

This is for AinA and her uni memories! :)

TLC has a new show coming out called A Model Life. It's a reality program about teaching wannabe models how to make it in the biz. Sound familiar? What a total ripoff of Top Model! I can't believe tv has sunk so low that copycat reality programs are being greenlit. What a sad world we live in...You know I'll totally be watching it... I'm so ashamed

Moms the Word

I haven't had much time to post all the crazy bloggy ideas I've had lately (remind me to write about C's recent foray into being a comedian - let's just say that an 8 year olds sense of humor is quite different and leave it at that ;), but, after rereading some of my more recent posts, I realized I never paid proper homage to my moms. She came out here when A was born to help us out, and let me just say that I have no idea how I would have made it without her. My mom is so awesome! She took care of the girls, helped me with A, cooked for us, drove me and the girls around. Basically she did everything! She's done so many wonderful things for me over the years. Everything from helping me during my move from Texas to Japan to watching C when I was at ASBC for 6 weeks to coming to Japan to help out with J (not to mention all the financial and emotional support for everything from scraped knees to college to divorce). My mom is truly the greatest, and I don't thank her enough for everything she does for me. I feel so blessed that after everything we've been through (and everything I put her through), she still loves me unconditionally and we have such a great friendship. I love you, Mom!

But This Makes It All Worth It

How Was Your 4th?

Cause mine pretty much sucked. I know I've been sort of incognito since A's birth, and I appologize for that. I thought I would have all this time to take care of projects and catch up on my correspondence while I stayed home. But it turns out that every time you add another child to your family things get just a little bit harder. Who knew?! Additionally, it appears that my difficult pregnancy was just a prelude of things to come. A is a difficult baby. I think it's too early to say he's colicky, but he does cry an awful lot. We ended up missing the fireworks yesterday because I was too exhausted to do anyting (I was up from about 2:30 the night before with A). I thought it was just constipation (we have started supplementing with formula because I don't make enough milk to satisfy him - this is an issue I've had with all my kids but usually not so soon), but we took care of that (I was scared to do it, but a rectal thermometer is a god send for mom's with constipated babies) and he is still fussy! He is just very needy. He needs to be held all the time, that seems to be the only thing that calms him down. That's not to say that he cries constantly. He also sleeps ;) No, he does have a few waking periods where I lay him under him jungle gym or put him in the swing, but those times usually last for about 10-15 mintues and then its back to fussing. I don't think I will be nearly as depressed to return to work this time around!

J has hit the terrible twos like a hurricane (which is pretty much how she does everything). She has become slightly more needy and definately has more tantrums than before A arrived. I totally love this age, too, because she's talking and communiating with me and can play real games (we got her a play kitchen and a Barbie play house - yay Craigslist), but it is difficult to balance a needy toddler and a needy baby. And, poor C is just getting shafted at this point. She's mommy's little helper. The only problem is she tends to live in her own little world (I told you she took after AinA!). So if I send her up to get a diaper for A or J she will most likely make a detour to pretend the diaper is a magical talisman which can change her into a princess. While extremely cute, this is also incredibly irritating when I have baby shit on my hands.

To top it all off, we found out on Monday that Hubs is going to have to get surgery in a couple of weeks. He's got a hernia, so now he's in the position of not being able to lift anything (especially a wriggly toddler or baby), so now I get to know he felt all these last few months. All I can say is thank god this happened now when I am sufficiently healed to handle the kids and not a few weeks ago! Luckily my MIL will be here when Hubs goes in for surgery (not so luckily we'll also have my step-kids, so it will be 5 kids and 2 able bodied adults), so I'll have some help with the kids while he's recovering.

Anyway, sorry for all the whining. But if I didn't whine to you all, then Hubs would have to deal with it, and I just don't think he can take any more stress! ;) We'll be okay (have I mentioned recently how happy I am to not be pregnant anymore?), we just have to make it through these next couple of months and pray that A learns to sleep through the night sometime soon!

While I'm Up...

It's 4am and I'm up with Alex (again). I'm too tired to put together a coherent post (still working on that birth story, I swear!), so I'll just follow my sister's lead and post you a link in the spirit of sharing. It's summertime and there's no better time for a foodie (in my opinion). If you're interested in learning about how to eat more local foods check out this site. Or if you want to put your kids to work so you can have strawberries year round (and make them think its fun) why not look for a place to pick your own produce? Or if you're too lazy for that (or live too far away), just look for a farmer's market in your area. Happy eating, everyone!

Notes From the Corner

I will get around to posting Alex's birth story one of the days, I swear! Its just been very hectic around here lately. I think once A is sleeping through the night things will be a lot easier, but, right now, I am hanging on by a thread! Yesterday I decided to keep both girls home (C is out of school and her 1st day of camp isn't until Monday, so it wasn't a big leap to decide to keep J home, too). We are seriously toying with the idea of taking J out of daycare while I am at home both to save some serious money and also because this is really the only time I will have as a stay-at-home mom, so I might as well make it so I can't wait to get back to work! ;) Seriously, though, I don't know how my mom did it. I only have 2 under 2, at one point, my mom had 3 under 3 at home with her with my dad on the road all the time. I would have gone insane. I don't even think I'm sane now! Don't get me wrong, we are so excited to have A finally here (and I don't want to complain too much since I am just greatful not to be pregnant anymore!), but, at this moment in time, I think it is better to wait between kids. I feel like I am losing out on my special time with J because I am stuck in one place breastfeeding or soothing A (he is not a good sleeper!), and I'm shortchanging both myself and A on what should be our spcial bonding time together, especially since this is going to be my last one. We'll see if I still feel the same way once A is sleeping normally and we've settled into a routine, but, for right now, my advice to all you gals thinking about having another one is to wait!



Like I said, though, I shouldn't complain because I am just so freaking happy to not be pregnant anymore! C is so excited to be out of school and going back to camp. J is at that stage right now where she is learning new words and objects at an incredibly rapid pace. Today we were playing with her animals puzzle book and she was pointing out the lions, tigers, and panda bears. It was so cute! C is going to join the library's summer reading program this year (we wanted to do it last year, but all the meetings are at like 3pm and I couldn't get out of work). This years theme is being a super sleuth, so maybe I'll take her to see that new Nancy Drew movie. I'll post more later, A is starting to get restless!

The Latest

Sorry I haven't been updating. Alex has a cold or allergies or something because he is really stuffed up and having trouble breathing through his nose, so he is not sleeping very well. Which means I am not sleeping very well (Hubs is back at work, so I am designated baby getter), so you are all just going to have to wait with bated breath for more baby details. So here's the skinny to tide you over: my mom spent two weeks with us and was a huge, awesome help that I think I would have died without; J is handling the whole situation pretty well, she is definately more demanding than usual but not as bad as I thought she would be; C is almost done with school, so I'm including some pics of her at her 2nd grade picnic; A is not sleeping and eats every 1-2 hours anyway; I am cranky and have an insanely irrational hatred of that K-Mart commercial with the lightbulb and the annoying chick. Everytime this she bites her lip in that fake cutesy way I just want to punch her right in the face. Of course, I also cried when the Carl's Jr people left my chicken sandwich off our order, so maybe I'm also a little hormonal (just a little). Hubs is back at work and not getting much sleep either, and he's really, really sick of watching Law & Order reruns ;) So, here's some pictures to keep you all occupied until I have enough brain cells to put together a coherent post.

Alex's Funky Faces

Alex

Mo' betta pics will follow when my mom gets back to Albuquerque and downloads her pictures to her computer (she forgot the computer cable). These will have to tide you over for now! :)

He's Here!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I was busy having a baby! Alexander John-Francis Podolny was born at 0836am on June 4th (uninduced!). He weighed in at a whopping 6lb 2oz and 19 3/4" long. I promise pictures and a birth story will be forthcoming, but you'll have to give me some time to adjust to being a mom of 3 (eek!).