WTF Moment

Holy shit, I cannot believe that this:

still hangs on the walls of FSI. I'm not sure whether to be mortified or secretly thrilled that my beauty queen days have been forever immortalized for all of my colleagues to see...I'm pretty sure it's the former.

Drumroll Please...

Unless you have Facebook, I know I've left you all hanging since my last post indicated that T-Day was, in fact, last Thursday...I got a freaking 3, 3!!! For all you non-State and DoD people, that is a big ole deal, and I am pretty fucking over the moon about it. I took about 1/2 a day to celebrate by forcing my children to relive part of my childhood and dragging them to Lake Kittamaqundi. Then reality set it, and I realized that we have less than 3 weeks until we move to the other side of the world!


 My friend D wrote up a great description of language training at FSI, so I won't do a repeat here. I will say that language testing at FSI is one of the most painful and stressful experiences I have ever gone through. I think I likened my Chinese test to having my brain sucked through a straw (then spat out onto the table so that all of the native speakers could laugh at me). Well, this was worse.

The test lasted about three hours, although it really didn't feel like it at the time. The speaking portion seemed to fly by, which I was surprised about because that was the part I was most worried about. It wasn't until I got to the reading portion that things really started to go downhill. At some point in the reading I realized that there were some sections of text where I did not know even one single word, and I started to panic. I was already panicking about the time limitations since I am a slow Tagalog reader, but then I started thinking that I was such a fool for stressting snd preparing so much for the speaking and now here I was getting ready to fail the reading portion!

The tester and examiner really push you as far as you can possibly go to see how much you can get out of whatever it is you are reading/conversing about, so you always feel a little behind. I walked out of the test with absolute certainty that I had failed, and I spent the 20-30 min break (where they are discussing what they think your overall score should be) outside chain smoking, trying not to cry, and panicking about WTF I was going to do considering I had just spent the last week busting my ass to get my military orders issued in time to do my check out from State. Imagine my utter shock when I trudged slowly back into the room braced to hear the bad news, and they told me I had been given a score which far exceeded my wildest expectations. Hell, I was just hoping to pass! I was so surprised, I had to ask the examiner to repeat himself to make sure I had heard him correctly.

I have no idea how my perception of my own abilities and others' perceptions can be so divergent. I can only speculate that it is my extreme type A, perfectionist personality that causes these feelings of inadequecy sometimes. I was also convinced that I had failed the Chinese language phone test back when I was still on the road to become an FSO, which turned out not to be the case either. Maybe I'm just overestimating how well other people speak foreign languages? I don't seem to ever have a confidence problem when it comes to completing tasks in English (job interviews, giving speeches, etc.). I wonder what it is about language that so fucks with my head?

Anyway, now that that one last hurdle is over and done, we are on our way! I'm currently in FL trying to get all of my requirements current, which would be way easier if they hadn't cut off my e-mail since I've been gone so long! At least I have access to the system now, and I got a new id card, so I can start checking off items on my military to-do list. I have an IMA job lined up with PACOM, which is looking like a good choice considering I'll be in Asia for at least the next 5 years. Husband is back in VA with the kids while they finish out as much school as they can. He is handling the move almost single-handedly (we already went through the house and separated our shipments, and I'll be flying home this weekend to help with the final preparations, like actually packing suitcases), while I'm here taking care of my military stuff. It's great to be back in uniform and doin' my thang. I have never regretted leaving active duty (I did a short notice separation shortly after A's brith to avoid a 15-month deployment to Afghanistan, which I was notified of thanks to a wonderful, understanding boss and being part of a small, tight-knit unit), but it always makes me sad that I couldn't make that life/work balance happen in the military. The AF just asked too much of certain officers (people in my career field were heavily deployed - to the point that many of us were on a 12 month home/deployed cycle - while other career fields were never tapped to help shoulder the burden), and I couldn't sacrifice that much time with my family. But, sometimes, I sure do miss it, and it's nice that I get to come back every once in a while and play that role again.

More Things I Never Imagined Would Need Explanation

So today I had to explain why it is important not to take your older sister's allowance money and flush it down the toilet. It was more difficult than one might think.

Oh, and I'm exactly one week out from T-Day. Freaked? Maybe just a little.* I'm learning that the more Tagalog I study, the less apt I am at any language at all. Today my instructor and I spent nearly twenty minutes trying to think up a really good English word that describes a situation when you really fuck up. I still can't think of a less profane way to describe it. Luckily since you can make just about any English word into a Tagalog verb by adding the mag- prefix, I'm pretty sure I can still use it in my test.

*If by a little you mean that I may wet myself at any moment.

Exhaustion Breeds Disease

Or so it seems since I was forced to cut out of my Tagalog lessons early to pick up 2.2 from school after she threw up in class. Now I'm home studying economic vocabulary and cleaning up vomit. Such a glamorous life! ;)

I know it's a bit late into 2012 already, but I forgot to post this. I'm particularly fond of #10.*

*Also, I may or may not be the person who submitted #20...just a little disclosure in case you ever happen to be stuck in an elevator with me :)

Cultura Overload

Otherwise known as Pu Dances the Tinikling and Goes to Church.

I have been meaning to post about the SLS Fair that occurred, oh, maybe a month ago, but I just kept forgetting to get permission from my teachers & classmate to post pics. One of my friends in Hindi posted a video about their class cultural experience, which inspired me to get off my ass and make this post! The SLS Fair gives our FSI instructors an opportunity to share their different cultures with each other. Students don't usually participate, but the Tagalog section is so tiny that our instructors asked if we might help out. First they taught us about two different Philippine holidays, the Flores de Mayo and the Ati-Atihan Festival, that we would be representing. Then we got all Imeldific! L & I got to rock some sparkly gowns, heels, tiaras, and sashes as Philippine beauty queens, but the real fun came when we learned and then got the chance to to teach people how to dance the Tinikling. My teachers made it look incredibly easy and graceful, but, to me, it was like jumping double dutch for two straight hours. I was so gross and sweaty by the end of it! On the plus side, we were by far the most popular booth at the fair. L & I posed for pictures, enticed people to come dance the Tinikling and try on traditional costumes, we played music, and generally had a blast. There was a booth next to us from a different part of the world (we'll be ultra-diplomatic and leave out said country's name) and man were they pissed! They kept complaining about how noisy we were being, and how we kept getting in their space, blah blah blah. As they sat there stone-faced and pouting, I couldn't help thinking how happy I am that we are headed to the Philippines! After having spent so many years not being represented (for a long time the Tagalog section only had 1 teacher, so there was no opportunity for her to participate), my teachers were so proud to have the Philippines be represented so well. Plus it was a total blast (and I got a good workout in!).

Teacher G and Language Supervisor M show off the traditional Ati-Atihan costume

L posing in front of the Philippines booth

Teacher G & I in front of our booth

Teacher S strikes a mean Tinikling

Three lovely Philippine ladies taking a break from dancing

This last week we did something on the opposite end of the spectrum and attended the first night of Simbang Gabi with my teacher. The Mass ended up being in English since the priest was not Philippino, but all of the songs were in Tagalog and we got to converse with people after the service while eating a traditional Philippine breakfast (lost of simple carbs and chicken soup!). The only negative was that we had to get up at 4am to make the 5am service. Mercifully, our teachers took pity on us and let us out of class early to make up for the fact that we started our day so early. This was a big plus for me since the other item on my agenda for the day was to get off my ass and haul the family downtown to get our diplomatic passports. I will post about this journey separately since it was truly its own adventure!

Gobblins

Pun intended. We've got five of 'em here and, boy, can they eat! Anyway, here's some pics of their Turkey Day feast. I was going to do a post about how football broke up with me (and it was a bad break-up, too, none of this let's be friends bullshit), but then the Bills had to go and put up a decent showing today (oh, don't worry, we still lost, but at least we made it a fight). So now, I'm confused. Does football like me or not? Check yes or no. I think I'm going to lose in both of my fantasy leagues, so I'm leaning towards the "no" box.

Gobblins Being Forced to Make Stuffing

Believe it or not this is the best picture I could get of all 5 Gobblins

Yes, this was a child's plate

Let's dig in!

Oh, yeah, we also braved Black Friday* and made a side trip to Santa's lap

*Okay, so technically it was Black Saturday since I had to work on Friday to avoid losing per diem. Long story but basically if you take leave while staying at Oakwood you not only lose per diem for the day, you also have to pay the daily Oakwood rate (meaning I would be out around $200 for just one day of leave). Since I'm already going to be shelling out a small fortune just to go home for X-Mas, I just wasn't willing to do it for a day when I was here in town. On the plus side, FSI was completely empty and finding a computer was a breeze!

Klase ng Pornographica

So maybe I got a leetle bit carried away yesterday...maybe...probably not. I mean this was monumental. Four interceptions of Tom Brady (matching the # of interceptions he had all of last year!), overcoming a 21-0 deficit, putting an end to the 15-0 winning streak the Pats have had over the Bills (it has been 8 years since the Bills have beat the Pats), being #1 in the division since god know when! This was a big fucking deal!! What are we going to do without football in the Philippines!!??

Okay, enough about football (at least until the Redskins beat the Cowboys tonight, yeah!). Language continues to struggle along...or, I continue to struggle along in language :) Some days are good Tagalog days and others, well, not so much. Today was a good Tagalog day. We had a couple of officers who just came from Manila come and talk to us about life and work at the Embassy. It was really nice of them to take the time out of their days to come and talk with us, and it was fantastic to get some perspective on what it's like for an ELO (entry level officer) as well as what it's like for families. This week my kaklase (classmate) has a language test in another language (she speaks like 5, she is crazy amazing!) so it will just be me for two hours for some 1-1...not sure how I feel about that. It is difficult being in such a small class because there is absolutely no break (as in, you can't take a minute to just absorb because it is always your turn to speak or translate!). Now I'll get to find out what it's like to be a single student. Hopefully my head doesn't explode. I don't think the custodial personnel would appreciate that very much.

In other Tagalog news, my teacher is totally awesome. She has reached a certain age - the age at which you no longer give a fuck what anyone thinks. She loves to make jokes and just laugh and laugh, which is awesome because that is what I like to do :) She also likes to tell dirty jokes, which is hilarious. L & I have been making jokes because I make stupid, crazy sentences with the limited vocabulary I have. We recently learned the word for snake, so I have been making sentences like: the fat, gluttonous snakes who live near the back of the church, or the dirty snakes who smell bad that are located on top of the clean stove. Well, I guess snakes is also a euphemism for penis because on Friday our instructor asked what my deal was with snakes (in slightly different language), and we tried to explain the humor in making these inane, ridiculous sentences. Apparently humor doesn't really translate because she thought we were giggling over making sentences about penises and promptly pronounced us to be the "Pornographic Class" !!*

* incidentally, I now know the words for penis and pornography in Tagalog...adding these to the other dirty words I have picked up so far should make me a popular figure in Manila! ;) 

School Daze

I know posting has been slow lately, but I promise that I really do have a good excuse this time. It's back to school season! This year we've decided that it is so exciting everyone is joining in. The kids started back to school on the 6th, and I started language training the same day. Husband and I are also back to our various other educational pursuits. After a couple weeks of summer break, I am back to my Masters degree (I graduate in Dec, yay!) while Husband is pursuing a post-grad certificate program in IT program management since he may as well put the rest of his GI Bill to good use!* Husband also starts ConGen on Monday. This is the same course that I just finished which is required to get your consular commission. As an EFM (eligible family member, which is what we call all family members listed officially on one's orders), Husband will not be eligible to adjudicate visas like an FSO, but there are many other jobs in the consular section for which a cleared American is needed. Manila is a rather large post and there are many jobs available for EFMs that pay on the US pay schedule. After looking into jobs on the Philippine economy, Husband has decided that it would probably be better to pursue employment at the Embassy and earn a decent wage rather than try to put his MBA to use and make very little.

Now that school has been in session for a couple of weeks, I can report that all children seem to be doing quite well...thriving even. I was concerned, especially for C, that the change from small private school to large public school would be a difficult adjustment, but my children constantly amaze me with their incredible resilience. C is absolutely loving her new school. She has made lots of friends, joined the morning announcements team, and her favorite class is FACS (I forget what it stands for, but it is apparently the new, PC term for Home Ec) where she gets to cook! J is also enjoying school, and she recently started soccer. Today was her 1st game. I was a little worried how she was feeling about the whole thing because we discovered at practice that she is not only the only new child (all the other children played together last year), she was also 1 of only 2 girls on the team! J is more than a bit shy, and at practice one of the rambunctious boys kicked her soccer ball away from her and the look on her face just broke my heart. At first J mostly stood around on the field, but after a couple of quarters and some encouragement from her parents and coaches (who are really wonderful) she started running around after the ball just like the other kids. She even kicked a few times! I was very, very proud of her. A seems to be flourishing in pre-K. His teacher is very sweet, and although A is not quite over his shyness, he is doing well. A will be starting ice skating lessons in Oct (NHL here we come!).

As for me, well, language training is not quite what I expected. I am in a class of two...actually, I am in a department of two! L and I make up the entire Tagalog language department at FSI :) Fortunately, L is an awesome girl, and it has been a very bonding experience so far. I imagine we will be very close by the end of the course as we have nothing but each other to talk about during class :) Another benefit to being in such a small class is that we got to set our own schedule. Generally language classes at FSI are either in the morning (0740 - 1440, 5 hours of classroom instruction and two hours allotted for language lab) or in the afternoon (1040 - 1640). Since it is just L and I, we requested to have class from 0740-1240 with no break for language lab so that we would be free to do it at our leisure. This way I will always be home to pick up the kids from school, even on Wed when they have early release. It is really a great schedule! As for the course itself, let me start by saying if my teachers are representative of the Philippines, I think I am really going to like it there. They are such a warm people, and they love to laugh! Just like me! :) As for the course itself, well, it has been an interesting experience so far. Tagalog is a very unique language. It is of Malay origin, but it has been heaving influenced by Spanish and English, so it is really a bundle of contradictions and lack of rules. On top of that our instructors, as wonderful as they are, are not teachers by profession, so it has been a struggle to understand some of the madness behind their methods. We had little structure to our days, no drills, no grammar, no homework. I actually became quite jealous of my friends in Hindi and Chinese who had hours of class devoted to grammar, pronunciation drills, etc. It had gotten so bad that on Thursday L & I met with the head of of the SE Asia Maritime Dept (who also happens to be a Tagalog speaker and has a PhD in second language acquisition). She was very understanding and seemed to be expecting some of our feedback.  I don't know what she said to our instructors but yesterday was like a brand new class. It was a good Tagalog day! I am also amazed at how much we have learned so far. We have only been in class for two weeks, and we are already having small, halting conversations. It boggle the mind to think of how far we will have advanced by the time we leave next year.