Stir Crazy

So I am going slightly stir crazy here. I'm trying not to base my opinion on what it would be like to be a stay at home mom on these past couple of days, since it is totally different being nine months pregnant and basically unable to do anything other than try to keep up with Hurricane J (isn't it amazing how utterly destructive the average toddler can be in like .2 seconds?), but, seriously, folks, I'm going nuts. I can only say, Want to watch Sesame Street?? in that slightly manic, high-pitched voice so many times before I just give up and sit in the middle of the floor just to try and weather the storm that is J. Today we played a fun game where I tried to guess what kind of food she would eat (she has eaten very, very little since contracting the dreaded pink eye, so I was a little - okay, a lot - more pandering to her desires than I would normally be), and she threw everything I gave her on the floor and said, All Done.

J: All done cookie. *crash* All done chee (cheese). *splat* All done raisa (raisin). *clatter* All done drink. *clunk*
Me: *high pitched, manic voice* Well, what do you want??!!
J: *pause* Mo? *in a sing-song voice* mo chee? mo cookie? mo raisa?
Me: *silently jumps out window*

After this little exchange, she decided it would be more fun to combine all of her food into one big pile and play with it much like you would play with sand in a sandbox while happily singing, mo chee, mo chee, uh oh! Then she would laugh and laugh and smile at me like she couldn't believe I was not finding this as absolutely hilarious as she was. Later we played a game where she buried her head in a pillow and I pretended to be surprised when she popped up by making a loud "Oh!" sound. This lasted for a good 20 minutes and only ended thanks to a fortuitous call from Hubs, which then launched the latest round of Let's Hide Mommy's Cell Phone and Watch Her Frantically Run Around Looking For It Since She Currently Has the Memory of a Fruit Fly.

Pu's Political Commentary

Wow, who would have predicted Paul Wolfawitz was such a jerk-off? (that was heavy sarcasm for anyone who might not be familiar with my political leanings)

Pu's Late Nite Commentary

Hubs and I stayed up a bit last night since I'm still off work today watching J. Its been so long since I was able to keep my eyes open past 9pm that I had forgotten the joys of watching late night infomercials. It took everything I had not to jump on my computer and buy this. (I may or may not be being sarcastic with that one...I'll let you know in a few weeks ;)

Pu's You Tube Commentary

For those of you sans toddlers, you may not be aware of the glut of bizarre childrens programming that has invaded cable television in recent years. I thought the oddity of kids tv had reached its peak with the advent of Bananas in Pajamas (a favorite post-clubbin' show of my ex-roomie and I many years before I joined the military). Boy was I wrong. Even Mickey Mouse has succumbed to the inanity with this post-show wrap-up song. But, these guys have got to be my pick for weirdest shit kids will watch in total rapture for hours on end (unless you are J, in which case it might hold your attention for about 5 seconds). Who doesn't love Bob the Bus Driver?! If childrens programming really kept up with the times, they would look more like this. Had enough You Tube, yet? (hey, you try staying home for two days with the pink eyed bandit at nine months preggo and see how much time you spend on there!)

And I Leave You With This...

Gotta love the LAPD. Not only are they still under investigation by the FBI for racial profiling and an unprovoked beating of a suspect (video if which was posted on You Tube, but I'll spare you all a link to it) just three months ago. Now they're under investigation for gassing and shooting all those peaceful immigration prostestors in MacArthur Park. Ooooh, scary immigrants peacefully marching, singing and protesting with their children in a public park. Thanks, LAPD, I feel much safer now!

Pink Eyed Bandit or Weekend Round-up

In the spirit of MR and AinA, I suppose a weekend round-up is due. I figure this is a good weekend to recap considering it was one of the most exciting in recent memory. Saturday started pretty uneventfully. C had a soccer game (she almost scored a goal but missed by just a few inches), and I took J so she could play at the nearby playground, which meant her nap was pushed to much later in the afternoon. After J got up, we took the kids outside on the back patio and let them play with the fountain (it was the Littlest Pet Shop Pool Party!) because it was so gorgeous outside. Then we dunked them into the tub to wash up. When the girls got out, J was rubbing her eye and whining a little bit. She continued to do this as the evening wore on and also became very lethargic and listless -- definately not the norm for J no matter how tired she might be! I started to get concerned when J kept rubbing her eye and crying and didn't want to do anything but lay in bed and hold her bottle (she didn't want to drink from it, she just wanted to hold it). C claimed that J had poured some water over her head while in the tub, so I thought she might have gotten some foreign object in her eye (and she didn't have a fever), but her behavior was really starting to worry me. We tried putting her down for bed, but she just kept crying, so I finally got her up and put her in bed with C where she fell asleep while C watched cartoons. Hubs and I were really worried, but I didn't want to overreact and rush off to the emergency room if she was just really tired or something, so we decided to let her sleep it off and make a decision in the morning. All night J would sleep for a few hours and then wake up screaming and crying, but she wouldn't open her eyes. I was totally freaked out and I kept picturing all the horrible things that could have happened to her, so, obviously, I didn't sleep that much Sat night since I kept getting up to check on her or comfort her all the while thinking what a horrible mother I was for not being able to figure out what was wrong or do anything to make it better. Finally, on Sunday morning, J didn't want to get out of bed and was still refusing to open her eyes. I managed to pry them open and her right eye was really red and puffy, so I threw on some clothes and we rushed off to the emergency room (Hubs stayed home with C). Luckily the ER is pretty deserted on Sunday mornings, so we were seen fairly quickly. The doc took one look at her and diagnosed pink eye. We were literally there for about two minutes, so I guess I did overreact a little after all! Anyway, I'm home now with the pink-eyed bandit (so dubbed by Hubs since she's recently picked up this ferret-like penchant for picking up random thing like, oh, my keys, my cell phone or the remote and stashing them away for god knows what nefarious purpose). Luckily most of my programs were inspected last week, so my boss wasn't too disturbed by my having to call in for the next 48hrs (pink eye is highly contagious, so I have to keep her out of daycare). J is really back to her old self for the most part, except for the one red eye, so I am just trying to keep up with her today. She absolutely hates getting the eye drops she was prescribed. I don't know if they sting or what, but she gets really upset when I try to give them to her, so I end up having to hold her down and try to pry her eye open so I can get them in there. I think I hate it more than she does!

So, we've put the house on quarantine, and I sent a note to C's school just in case she's contracted it already (she doesn't have any symptoms, thank god). Hopefully, the train stops here and no one else in the house will come down with it. Hope everyone else's weekends were a little less eventful!

Latest Happenin's

I know, I know, you're all tired of hearing it by now, but I am just so sick of the pain. I feel like this is God's big joke on me since I just couldn't wait to get pregnant again. I can't imagine what life is like for people who live with chronic pain. At least there's a light at the end of the tunnel for me. I do have to give a big shout out to my wonderful Hubs, who puts up with me night and day and has had to pick up the slack since I am no longer capable of doing a lot of things. I seriously lost it the other day. The IG had started and things didn't seem to be going so well (we've since wrapped up with a lot of my programs and I got a coin -- a traditional military way of rewarding someone for a job well done -- and we also got complimented on how what a well run shop we have, especially considering out personnel turnover rate -- we are at about 36% manning!); I also woke up on Monday with what appeared to be a third eye in the middle of my forehead (I later discovered it was just a zit); then I discovered I had developed a medical condition that all pregnant women dread but no one ever wants to talk about (let's just say it was on my heinie and it was excruciatingly painful!). All these things combined with the sciatica and the fact that my once sweet and snuggable little baby girl has suddenly turned into this, and, well, I just lost it. I think I had a complete and total mental breakdown. Poor Hubs found me in the tub soaking my sore ass and sobbing uncontrollably. I think I just needed to have a good cry and let out all the frustration because I am feeling a little better now. Also, I broke down and said screw the $$ factor and have started getting a massage 1x a week. It is really more than I should be spending, but it makes a huge difference in my ability to walk and perform other normal, daily functions, so I guess it is worth it in the end!

In other news, I was perusing one of my favorite sites for workout DVDs when I came across this. While I found the idea of it hilarious, I have to wonder what the reaction would be if it were titled, The Fat Ass Wife Workout.

Second best commercial ever! I do stuff like that all the time! :)

More Baby News

I meant to post this the other day, but we have been so frantic at work with our IG prep that I have barely had a chance to breathe much less do anything else! I went to see my perinatal specialist (PS) on Wednesday and the news was not as good as I would have liked. The baby is not growing at the rate her is supposed to. Prior to this ultrasound he was measuring at the 30th percetile; at this ultrasound his head was measuring at the 20th percentile and his stomach at only the 10th percentile. According to PS, the first sign that baby is not getting enough nutrients from the placenta is in the growth of the stomach area, so that is not a good sign. Also, although I didn't lose any weight, I also didn't gain any in the last two weeks. This is also a bad thing when you are as far along as I am.

This is precisely what happened with J, so they are going to start keeping an even closer eye on me than they have been. It is a little disappointing since everything seemed to be going so well, but we knew this was a possibility with my history. The difference this time around is that we were aware of the problem and monitored for it, so there are no surprises. With J, it was such a shock to hear that something might be wrong and to be forced to be induced on that very same day in a hospital in nowhere Japan with no NICU was very scary. Here we are in a city with some of the best health care in the nation available to us. I live within a 20min drive of three different hospitals, all with NICUs. Plus, baby is already weighing just about what J weighed when she was born, so he is already at a weight where he has an excellent chance of survival outside of the womb. So even though it wasn't the news we wanted to hear, I am feeling okay about the whole situation. PS said to take it easy (ha!) and to try not to lift J or other heavy objects and to rest as much as possible on my left side so that the baby can get as much oxygen as possible.

So that's where we're at right now. I just wanted to give everyone a heads up since, if things don't improve in the next couple of weeks, it looks like we may have to induce early with this one, too. Maybe if I eat a lot of ice cream baby will start to put on weight? ;)

They're Meaty, What, What!

**Warning: TMI Ahead**

Okay, I seriously wanted to do a funny post about pregnancy, really I did, but I just can't seem to muster up my sense of humor lately. Maybe it's because the baby has dropped and how there is a 1lb baby head wedged in my pelvis so I (literally) waddle around rocking from side to side like a Weeble Wobble. Or maybe it's because I have a pinched nerve in my back so that when I get up to pee for the 15th time during the night I (again, literally) have to crawl to the bathroom on my hands and knees because I can't put any weight on my left leg. Or maybe it's because I now have to wear panty liners just in case I happen to sneeze, cough, or laugh too hard and have an *ahem* leakage problem. Or maybe it's because it has become so difficult to shave my legs that I have resorted to bizarre methods of hair removal in order to avoid bending over (hence the Nair debacle). Or maybe it's because I lumber around so slowly that my 1 1/2 year old can easily out run me, knows this, and delights in doing so since she thinks it is all a big funny game to make Mommy chase her around trying to get her to put her diaper on.

I am recording all this now in the hopes that the next time I say I want to have a baby Hubs knocks me upside the head and reminds me of how miserable I was for the last two months of this pregnancy since God seems to think it's really funny to make women forget about the excruciating pain they go through within hours of giving birth (I guess he has to otherwise who in their right mind would ever give birth more than once!)


Thought I'd share what currently passes for humor in my house:

J: Yuck!
Me: What's yuck?
J: Poop
C & J: Hahahahahaha
J: Ew!
Me: What's ew?
J: *makes farting noise*
C&J: Hahahaha hahahaha hahahaha

C recently taught J how to make loud farting noises with her mouth, and they both think this is the most hilarious thing in the world. Bathtime has become Dueling Fart Noise time in our household despite my repeated attempts to nip it in the bud. Of course, it doesn't help that I also happen to think farting is pretty damn funny, so I'm sure my giggling along doesn't exactly inspire them to stop. I guess I should be greatful that they're just making rude noises and not trying to stick crayons in their butts (Y - I'm looking at you ;).

I seriously love this commercial.

C has recently become very interested in anatomy. I think this is both a product of her age and the fact that I am having another baby. She has started expressing curiosity about my giganto boobs (she confided that Trevor, the "bad boy" of her class, looked up the word breast in the dictionary. Apparently this is extremely funny to the average 2nd grader.) So I, being the liberated woman I am, decided to go out and buy her every book about female anatomy they have on Amazon. Now, I don't know about you all, but when I was growing up, we had My Body, My Self and that was about it. So I was totally shocked to find out there are about 1 million books about all kinds of anatomical issues I had never even thought to address. Here's a few of my favorites:

Who's Knees Are These? (Is this seriously a problem for some kids?)

The Truth About Poop (He works for the NSA. He's actually a member of the Priore of Scion. He's a transvestite hooker who regularly appears on Jerry Springer!...don't ask me why I think of poop as a he...)

You Can't Taste a Pickle With Your Ear (This one is actually pretty good advice considering C once shoved a daisy so far up her nose it took a trip to the doctor to remove it)

But this is my favorite.

Fear me, for I have learned to link!!

Random Musings and Another Dilemma

Why does this pregnancy seem like it is so much physically harder on me than my last two? According to my dr it is b/c:
#1 I have gained more weight with this pregnancy already than I did with Jocelyn altogether (I also started at a very low weight, so my body isn't used to carrying all this extra poundage around.)
#2 I have a toddler this time around, so I am bending over a lot more and carrying her around, which is an extra 20lb on top of the rest of the weight I have gained.
#3 This is baby #3! My body is simply giving out from all the abuse I've put it through.

Me: So, what you're saying is that there's really nothing I can do about the fact that it takes me a good 10 minutes just to get out of bed in the morning?
Dr: Yes, that's right. You just have to suffer through the pain and act like nothing is wrong since you still have to work and be a mom and there is nothing you can do about it. Ha ha ha ha ha (okay, maybe I imagined the sinister laugh at the end)
Me: You suck


In other baby news, the head is down and I'm experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions (I had these for a month b4 C was born, so they're nothing to me but an extra pain in the ass, literally!): however, the cervix is still closed and the baby is measuring and weighing at his proper age so I will most likely go to around my due date. I can't decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing.


Don't use Nair. It sucks.


I want a Peg Perego Duette stroller. I also want to keep my new boobs. I am shit out of luck.


Dilemma #2 or Why Do These Things Keep Happening to Me:
So, I get this e-mail today from C's bio dad that he wants to fly C up to the Emerald City for a few days over 4th of July weekend. As you all know, he just saw her for the 1st time in 3 years last weekend, and he hasn't exactly been a huge part of her life since we left the EC in 2003. Additionally, I don't get child support (never pushed for it since I make 3x what he makes) or any other monetary support from him and never have. He's never put one red cent towards her care. I never really pursued the issue since, like I said, I make a heck of a lot more money than he does, and I didn't see the point in putting him in the poor house when I didn't really need the money. Now I'm beginning to feel a little annoyed since he has also asked to have her over her birthday. Where is all this $$ coming from that he can now ask to see her 3x in one year? For the last 3 years he's been telling me that he didn't have any $$ to help out, and I know he still has the same job and same apartment. I realize we're somewhat closer now than we were before, but I had offered him chances in the past to see C on my dime (most notably when my most wonderful parents came to my rescue and watched C for me while I attended ASBC for 6 weeks a few years back) and he was "unable" to take me up on any of those offers. Also, I feel slightly uncomfortable with the whole situation now. C idolizes her bio father; he has become this imaginary figure who can come and rescue her whenever Mommy is being mean. I'm scared that he's going to come back into her life only to have to leave it again, and I know that would devestate her. Or maybe I just feel threatened. In fact, I think I do, but I'm not sure why. So, what should I do? Should I let her go (even though it terrifies me to think about putting her on a plane by herself, she's certainly old enough to do so now. And I recall doing the same thing at about her age when I went to visit my grandparents in CT.)? Should I question him about the whole finances thing? I also kind of feel bitter about that. While I certainly make more $$, I also have a family to support and it doesn't seem fair that T and I support my step-kids financially while C's bio dad offers nothing for her care. Or is that kind of petty? It's not so much the actual $$ as it is the prinicple of the thing. I didn't care that he wasn't giving her any financial support b/c he wasn't really giving her any kind of support! Now he wants to be a bigger part of her life, so is it right for me to ask him to essentially pay for the priviledge? Have I mentioned that being a parent is hard?


Also, I should never be allowed to post in a short timeframe. My last post is so riddled with spelling and grammar errors, I'm surprised anyone was able to grasp its meaning.

Dilemma Update

I wanted to post quickly to thank everyone who weighed in on my dilemma from last week. After our little exchange on Monday, I think BS realized how upset I was and didn't say another word about C for the rest of the week. Since she's only there on a very infrequent basis, I ended up deciding it wasn't worth it to possibly offend BS when really I can just avoid the issue by finding other care for Caitlyn when need be. In other C news, she saw her biological father for the first time in three years this last weekend. He came for two days and C stayed with him during that time. It was really bizarre for all of us. Hubs and I were kind of looking forward to having a C break, but we ended up bickering all day on Saturday and J is acting like a brat all day, so we end up not enjoying it at all. Finally, Hubs notes that we are all out of sorts b/c are family is out of whack w/o C around. We really missed her! Happily, she came back all in one piece, sad but seemingly normal and she doesn't appear to have been too affected by this whirlwind visit. I was very worried that we would be experiencing emotional outbursts or other behavioral problems following his visit, but it seems that I should have been more concerned about J as she is the one who has been a real cranky pants for the last couple of days (I think it is a combination of teething - her last baby teeth are coming in - and hitting a growth spurt - she has also been sleeping a lot as of late). A cranky 1 year old is no fun to be around!

Oh, and I totally meant to post this earlier, but I wanted to give a shout to to my big sis and my girl Susanne who sent me clothes for various kids. We so appreciate having such wonderful people in our life!

Pics of the Girls

Dilemma

I feel I should preface this next post with some serious background info. My babysitter (let's call her BS, shall we) is an elderly woman. Old enough that she has children who are clearly old enough to be my parents (two of whom still live at home, which, I've come to learn, is not all that uncommon here in So Cal), and she is quite set in her ways and firm in her opinions. I am never right. If Jocelyn is constipated, it is not because she is eating too much dairy, as I proclaim after adjusting her diet and noticing a significant reduction in rabbit pellet diapers, it is because BS has been giving her more raisins. If I am extra pale, it is not because I haven't been tanning for the last 8 months of my pregnancy, it is because I am not getting enough water. Now, as annoying as this is, BS also has a lot of good attributes that sort of balance everything out. For one, she is cheap. No, I mean, really, really cheap. Average care in LA for a non-potty trained child will run you about $1000/mo. BS charges me $600/mo and she throws in free weekend sitting pretty much whenever I need/want it. Also, and more importantly, she looooves Jocelyn. I know that when I leave Jocelyn in her care that she is being as well tended to as I could give her myself, and I feel 100% confident that BS loves her like she loves her own children. And that counts for A LOT!

However, on occasion, I have to ask BS to watch Caitlyn for me as well. Caitlyn is obviously much older than the children BS usually has (they range from newborns to about pre-school age and come on different days and times, I think Jocelyn is actually the only full-time child she has on a daily basis), and, in my personal opinion, I don't think BS likes Caitlyn very much. This is highly unusual, as Caitlyn is a definate charmer with adults, and all of her teachers/coaches/rec leaders, etc. are always telling me how much they adore Caitlyn and love having her around. This week is Spring Break for the kiddos, so I asked BS to watch Caitlyn full-time for the week since it would have cost me $200 to have her go to the Parks and Rec camp (she goes to the Parks and Rec afterschool care, which is a reasonable $250/quarter), plus it is a lot easier on me to have the girls both in one place for pick ups and drop offs. So, yesterday I swing by BS's after work to pick up the girls. I innocently ask if the girls were well behaved only to get the "stern" look from BS...

BS: Well, Jocelyn was an angel, as usual. But, this one (pointing at Caitlyn, who is standing next to the door with her head down looking very sad)... She's a problem child.
Me: What happened?
BS: Well, so and so came by to tell me she has decided not to go back to work so she won't be needing my services any more. So Caitlyn then asks her why she came by at all.
*pause*
Me: And...
BS: And, that's it. It was so rude of her, and so and so was just stunned by it.
*pause*
Me: I'm not sure I'm getting this. What did Caitlyn say?
BS: She asked so and so why she came to the house.
*pause*
Me: And this was rude?
BS: This was very rude and you should really talk to her about it. She says rude things like that all the time and she needs to understand that you can't talk to adults like that.
*pause*
Me: Hmmm
BS: And, she is very mean to her sister.
Me: Hmmm

Now, Caitlyn is standing right next to us during this entire exchange! I am thinking to myself that this is a serious overreaction on BS's part since kids say dumb things all the time and they certainly don't mean anything rude by it, and clearly BS is getting that impression because she then shoots this look to her daughter (a total mini-BS who is also a nurse and therefore thinks she can diagnose me every time I happen to see her) as if to say "See, I told you she wouldn't do anything about it." Then BS rolled her eyes (rolled her eyes!!!) and threw her hands up in the air.

Me: Okay, girls, it's time to go.

So I did manage to get out of there without strangling her, which I was very, very proud of. Maybe it's because I am 8 mos preggo and I am stuck in bitchland regardless of what's going on around me, or maybe it's because some variation of this exchange happens every time I take Caitlyn over there, but I am really, really, really pissed off! Am I overreacting here? I feel like BS does not like Caitlyn and always has something bad to say about her whenever I take her over there. I know Caitlyn is not the perfect child, but she is a sweet and loving little girl (and she 100% adores her little sister!) and it really, really bothers me to have BS say not so nice things about her every single time I take her over there. Especially since I don't really see anytign wrong with Caitlyn's behavior. She's a normal 8-year old, sometimes she says dumb things, sometimes she's a little selfsh and would rather play with a toy herself than give it to her sister (who doesn't understand sharing yet and almost always gets her way since she's the baby), but that doesn't make her a bad kid and she doesn't deserve to feel like she's always doing the wrong thing or that she's going to get in trouble every time she has to go to BS's. Grrrr...

Okay, so after all that, my true dilemma is that I'm not sure how to deal with this situation. On the one hand, I don't want Caitlyn to get the impression that I don't believe BS or give credence to her complaints because I want Caitlyn to respect all adults, and I certainly don't want her to think that she can start getting away with anyting just because she doesn't get punished based on the report I get from BS. On the other hand, I don't even want to take Caitlyn over to BS's any more because I feel like it's a toxic environment for her. And on the third hand (I totally just made that expression up), I can't afford to hire another babysitter and I love how BS takes care of Jocelyn. So I'm stuck in a serious, um, dilemma if you will (like how I tied it all back to the title of my post--I am so freaking clever!). How do I handle this situation? Do I continue to ignore BS when she says things to try and get Caitlyn in trouble or do I fork out the cash I don't really have to find another sitter for Caitlyn during those times she needs it in order to avoid the situation altogther? Is there another solution I am missing? Have I completely lost my mind to end-of-pregnancy bitchdom? Tune in for next week's post: why public bathrooms piss me off.

Bunny Day

So I totally posted this at MR's blog as a comment, but then I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone and post here for you all to enjoy as well. (BTW, never use that expression in front of your 8 year old who loves animals and can't understand that you are not literally killing anything!)

Anyways, here's a run down of our Easter:
It was a little wet here (its been like 80 degrees for the last two weeks and suddenly it drops into the 60s and gets foggy for the holidays, go figure), so we did our egg hunt inside. Jocelyn had an enormous meltdown just as we were starting the egg hunt, so I tried to distract her by showing her how to open the eggs and get the candy. BIG mistake! She proceeded to open half of Caitlyn's eggs and shove as many jelly beans as she could get into her mouth at one time. Then, when I tried to pry them out, she started screaming and dribbled all the half eaten jellybeans onto my white carpet. Note to self: holiday festivities should always be planned as post-naptime activities regardless of how early in the morning it is. Also, 1 1/2 year olds are really too young for Easter egg hunts no matter how cute it may seem to you as a parent. *sigh* On the other hand, Caitlyn was thrilled because I decided Jocelyn was too young to eat any of her candy, so she got double! Best Easter Ever, Mom! ;)

Dad arrived at about 1pm, his flight was delayed a bit, and I made a traditional Seder feast of chicken fricasse, asparagus, and buttered noodles (um, okay, so maybe it wasn't very traditional after all), which was silly since we were celebrating Easter. But, it was either that or lasagna, so no one complained! :) Dad "whipped" us up some deviled eggs (I am unable to stand the smell of eggs and refuse to make them in any form, so Tim was overjoyed that he was finally able to get some), which were a big hit. Jocelyn ate almost three whole eggs and was begging for more when I finally cut her off! I also made a really fab-u chocolate mousse, which was awesome because it is made totally in the blender and took all of about 5 minutes to prepare. I was very impressed. Oh, and I got to watch Banned from the Bible II (the only time I get to watch the history channel is when one of my parents is here and we out-vote Tim ;) All in all, it was a pretty low-key day with good food and good company. I'll post some pics of the girls once I get them downloaded from the camera and I find one where Jocelyn is not either: A. crying, B. shoveling jellybeans into her mouth, or C. Not looking anywhere even close to the camera so that all you can see is the side of her head. Hope you all had a good bunny day!

Warrior Moms are Cool

Okay, so I know I said I was going to skip Caitlyn's presentation this week, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. If people at work are resentful that I took a lot of time off of work this week, they'll have to live (I mentioned to Caitlyn that I might not be able to make it and she got really upset, so I figured it was better to disappoint my coworkers than my daughter!). I got there a few minutes early and Caitlyn was visiting with the school counselor (she meets with her regularly), so I ended up hanging out with her classmates for a bit. And I was quite the hit, if I say so myself ;) I went straight from work so, of course, I was in uniform, which the kids totally freaked out about. LA is not exactly a military town. In fact, most people here have no idea there is even a base anywhere in the city. So I wasn't surprised by the reaction I got. So while we were waiting for Caitlyn to get back, her teacher let the kids ask me some questions about my job...

"Are you in the Army?"
"Have you ever driven a plane?"
"Have you ever killed anyone?"
"Do you get to carry a gun?"
"Do you get scared at your work?"

It was pretty funny, cute, and a little disturbing at the same time (one little boy asked me, "Isn't there a war going on?" and a lot of the kids seemed confused by this. I guess their parents don't talk to them about it at home very much.)

Anyway, Caitlyn got back and did her presentation (I think I was more of a hinderance than a help, since she got stage fright and didn't want to do it in front of me), and it was really cute. The best part is when the kids left for recess, and I overheard one of the little boys in her class tell her that her mom was cool. Yeah, that's right. I am a cool mom. Okay, so its mostly the uniform, but I'll take what I can get!

Things Just Keep Getting Better

Sorry for all these "poor me" posts, but things just don't seem to be looking up for me. Now that Tim and Caitlyn have recovered, I am suffering from a bad head cold and Caitlyn was sent home from school yesterday with a fever. School policy dictates that kids who have a fever over 100 have to stay home for 24 hours, so I'm home watching her today. This might actually be a good thing, except that I took off early yesterday afternoon (before I got the call about Caitlyn) because I was feeling so badly. So now I'm missing another day of work. I also have a dr's appt on Thus, and I was hoping to go see Caitlyn present her ancestor report to her class (cause you know all the stay at home moms will be showing up for their kids' presentations with family photos and tons of homemade snacks) but I can't afford to take that much time off of work. The ORI is less than 4 weeks away! *sob* Anyway, this whole pity party is really just a lead in to tell you all that I might not be posting as much over the next month or so. I promise I have not died or fallen off the face of the earth, and I am still reading your blogs, so keep that in mind when you write nasty things about me ;)

Feelin Sorry for Myself

Okay, so I lied about doing some political posting. Maybe I'll get around to it one of these days, but I think I'm fooling myself when I say that. For some reason, this pregnancy seems like its been so much harder than my other ones. I'm just physcially exhausted all the time, I can't seem to remember anything, I keep getting sick (of course, everyone in the house is sick right now except Caitlyn, I swear she has the most incredible immune system!), I've been battling preggo depression/mood swings, and I'm totally panicked about having 5 kids and my MIL here this summer when we still don't know where we're going to be living!

At any rate, we did accomplish some things this weekend in spite of my lethargic mood of late. Caitlyn had a soccer game, and, although she didn't score a goal this time around like she did last week, her team (The Blue Lightning) creamed their opponents for the third week straight! We also did the obligatory hospital tour on Sunday, which lasted about 2 hours (and I still have to go in and pre-register, argh!!). I just wanted to ensure the availability of a private room (all of theirs are), where the maternity section actually was (always good to know before you go into labor), and what some of their policies were on different laboring techniques (they have a shower in each room, yay!). Since I'll most likely have to be induced again (having never actually gone into labor on my own before), it seems like this should be a fairly easy process even though its the first time I'll have given birth in a civilian hospital. Now I just have to figure out what their policy is on giving out multiple prescriptions for Percocet, and I should be good to go! ;)

Sorry For the Lack of Posting

I promise I'm not relapsing into my old ways. The base has been exercising for the last week, and I have been heavily involved in it, so I have had little time for blogging and such. Now we're into the post exercise hot wash and after action report season (boo), and it's only 5 more weeks until the ORI! I know most of you are non-mil types, so let me make an analogy here. Going through an ORI (operational readiness inspection) is like having a really thorough anal probe conducted by a group of people with ten thousand checklists and if you don't answer their questions correctly you get zapped with a taser. Okay, maybe it isn't quite that bad, but it's close! So forgive me for the lack of blogging. I promise a diatribe on the sad state of American politics in the face of this latest scandal (8 US attorneys fired for less than clear reasons -- gotta love the fact that the incriminating e-mail trail includes info from one "Scooter" Libby!) But, for now, I have an exercise evaluation report to write. Someone tase me, please!

Foodie Blogs

In the spirit of competition (and good eats), I've been spending a lot of time researching good restos in the LA area. I have come across many good foodie blogs and message boards, but I have to say that no one can top Alan Richman. Enjoy!

http://men.style.com/gq/blogs/gqeditors/food_and_wine/index.html

Pulisha: Movie Critic

Okay, brace yourselves...I actually left the house for the second weekend in a row without my kids! That's right, I went to see a real movie in a real movie theater with absolutely no children (okay, no children that belonged to me, I will not comment on the multitude of people who apparently think it is okay to bring their very young children to a rated R movie full of sex and violence, or maybe I just did). Hubs and I went to see The 300 this weekend (along with everyone else in the world according to the amount of money it made at the box office). Considering this was the first time I'd gone to see a movie in a theater since we took the kids to see Monster House last summer (most bizarre kids cartoon movie ever!), you'd think I'd be thrilled just to get my paws on some fake buttered popcorn (I wuz). But, ever the critic, I couldn't be satisfied with stuffing my face with popcorn and flavored oil. I honestly don't know how this movie made as much money over the weekend as it did. It must be from the lack of any other interesting movies on the cinematic landscape (post-Oscar season is notorious for its crappy movie releases), because it certainly wasn't from anything the movie itself had to offer. Or maybe I'm being overly critical. After all, the Hubs loved the movie (but I think he may have been biased by the fact that we were watching it at an actual theater that was located nowhere near our living room and that no children who came from any part of our DNA were located within a 10 mile radius). Personally, I thought it was lacking in any real storyline, there was nothing to tie you emotionally to any of the characters, and all it really had to offer was 2 hours of non-stop blood and gore (lots of blood and gore! Blood and gore in slo-mo, at wierd camera angles, etc.). Oh, and nipplage, lots and lots of nipplage. So, clearly, this is a man's movie ;)

Pu's Critique: Too much blood, too much gore, too many nipples.

Don'cha Wish Your City Was Hot Like Mine

It is a sunny 91 degrees here in LA today. Not to rub it in or anything... ;)

This is My Life as a Mother Girl

Despite my prestigious job and exceedingly high intelligence (and modest, don't forget about my modesty ;), I am totally and completely addicted to what is clearly the least intelligent show on television: America's Next Top Model (unless you count I Love New York...which I also watch). So if you don't get the above reference, really, you should feel quite good about yourself. And if you do...well, now I feel better about myself ;) Anyway, the whole point of this post actually has nothing to do with reality tv, modeling, or really anything I've typed about so far and, in fact, has a lot more to do with pooping. Now, I realize this is becoming somewhat of a regular topic here at Pu's Corner, but you must realize that we are in the midst of potty training a toddler, and I feel you all should at least be greatful that I haven't posted at length about the issue of pregnancy and pooping. So quit whining! Ahem...sorry about that.

Anyway, Jocelyn has now established a regular pattern of pooping in the tub, which has become increasingly less funny each time it happens. She is apparently as unhappy with this turn of events as I am since she starts crying every time it happens. I think her crying is partially becuase Caitlyn tends to freak out when this occurs (and rightly so. I, as a xx yr old woman wouldcertainly freak out, so I can't really blame an 8-year old for getting upset when someone poops in her bath water) because last night she (Jocelyn) kept going, "Ewwwww!" as I cleaned up the mess. I did manage to catch her mid-poop this time and sit her on the toilet, which she seemed fairly nonplussed with. She had another small poop in the toilet and we waved bye-bye at it as I flushed it down the toilet. What I can't figure out is what is causing her to keep pooping in the bath? Is it the warm water, is it the time of day, is it some wierd psychological baby thing? I don't know! So how can I prevent it from happening again? She obviously doesn't like it when it happens, so she isn't doing it on purpose, and I'm getting darn tired of cleaning out the bath tub (not to mention the fact that its just kind of gross). So, that's the big news from Pu's house (pun intended). Maybe it will make you all feel a little bit better about your own lives (I know that's how I feel when I watch ANTM!).

Pregnant Biz'otch

I have long since passed the second trimester glow and am now mired down in the heavy, plodding, ever widening butt morass known to most people as the third trimester of pregnancy. God plays cruel tricks on women. After gagging and sleeping like a narcoleptic through your first trimester, you suddenly feel energized with the added bonus of immense breasts that are no longer so sore to the touch that you sock your husband in the eye everytime he dares glance down below your neck. You begin to feel like this pregnancy thing might not be so bad after all. I mean how could something that gives you cleavage for the first time in your life be all bad, right? Hahahahahahaha

No, my friends, this is all a clever joke on the part of the cosmos to trick you into thinking that procreating is not that much of a pain in the ass. Because as soon as you pass that 28 week mark (and I mean literally...like within minutes) you suddenly notice how incredibly dumpy your butt has become, how much your thighs have expanded, how hard it has become to breathe, and how impossible it is to try and roll over in bed without the concerted effort of your husband to assist you (although he may get some enjoyment out of watching you flounder around like a turtle on its back). Then you begin to count the days, nay, weeks left until your due date with a sinking feeling in your excessively large abdomin as you realize you still have an enormous amount of time left and have already hit the point on the scale where your nurse has started to make little comments about how much weight you are gaining between appointments (wow, are you sure you're only seven months, ha ha ha). Slowly these realizations and ever increasing awareness of the mass of your lower body begins to take a toll on the pregnant one's already fragile psyche. And so begins the quick descent into pregnant bitchdom. I should, perhaps, feel some sympathy for my poor hubby who has no choice but to put up with me since he has no where else to live, but, instead, I wallow in my own misery and bitch incessently about retaining water (combat boots = not so good for preggo feet). (I feel less bad about this now that he has taken to shaking my prodigeous rear and singing about how my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard). How is it that we forget just how bad it gets towards the end? Nature is a cruel mistress to the pregnant!

Gettin' Our Culture On

So after much whining about how my lil' sis always seems to be doing cool cultural things, we finally broke down and admitted we now live in LA and not bum f*ck Japan and can actually go out and experience American culture at its finest (instead of sitting on our couch watching American Idol and America's Next Top Model *sob* I admit it, I have a problem). For our first foray outside the home this year, we chose to go to Jim Hensen's Puppet Up!, a puppet improv show that is definately not for children or people who offend easily! (We figured if we couldn't make it to Chicago to see Harvey Finklestein, this was the next best thing!) As with any improv show a lot of the jokes were hit or miss, but it was actually really cool to see how they do all that stuff you see on tv (also there was a disclaimer that they were filming for a DVD that night, so if any of you ever, um, buy an adult puppet show DVD...that just sounds so wrong). They did the show on a regular stage, so the audience could see the puppeteers underneath working the puppets, and there were large screen tvs around the stage that allowed you to see the puppet-only perspective. Very cool!

Anyway, the kids were very interested in the fact that we had gone to puppet show without them. As soon as I find the cord for the camera, I'll post a picture of Jocelyn trying to puppet up!